lets all take a moment of silence for 1991 human lumiere in the enchanted christmas
“Good looking.”
And people complain the prince at the end of the movie isn’t good looking enough.
They could’ve modelled him off, say, his voice actor, Jerry Orbach (they did that with Belle). He’d look a lot better if you’d done that, Disney.
ok first off this ““enchanted christmas”““ bullshit y’all keep spewing is just that, bullshit, because IT NEVE R FUCKING HAPPENED. come out behind the dining room and fight me
IT NEVER HAPPENED
ok anyway. thing is i DOOOOOOOOO think they modeled him after human jerry orbach. i just think they hugely fucked it up because their animators were straight boys who didn’t hone in on the Utter Sex that is Orbach when he’s on:
like holy shit i need to change all my clothes and take a shower, and then take another one, because the first one didn’t do enough
UGH. UGH. UGH. I FUCKING LOVE YOU.
anyway SO moving out of my pants and back into animation, i think a HELLA lot of lumiere is from orbach. like fuck, have you seen the concept art from BEFORE they had jerry in the recording booth, giving them all of lumiere’s expressions?
like WHAT THE FUCK?????? HIS FACE IS DRIPPING OFF????? THIS IS NOT SEXY CANDLE SMOLDER. THIS IS, I DON’T FUCKNG KNOW,
- EVERY
- ONE
- OF
- MY
- FUCKING
- NIGHTMARES
lumiere didn’t become lumiere until you had THIS man in the booth. lanky, and Very Eyebrow-y, and gesturing like he can make magic with his fingertips, and letting his face roam over 50 billion expressions per minute.
and you can see him in lumiere. the long nose, the way he uses his hands, the expressiveness, the exact 20° angle of his eyebrows. that’s all Lumiere.
and in my favorite gif of all time you see it in action.
look at my two long-faced, long-nosed, overdramatic Theatre Bois sayin their lines.
which brings us back to the central question of What the Fuck Went Wrong with Human Lumiere. you just animate jerry, right?? you just draw Sex.
this is not sex.
but you can still see the Jerry. the gorgeous hands, the long nose, the FUCKING EYEBROWS. they just then……….forgot everything else.
like that jerry orbach actually has a chin. and, like, shoulders. and wouldn’t wear fucking clown pants. and would move not like a noodle.
anyway that’s my thesis hope i did good you may now call me dr. lumiereswig







