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Compliation Of Weirdness

@legitalicat

Some posts are NSFW. Basically just me on a website. MASTERLIST

“Should they come looking for me, I intend to be found” This line must have been a hard and taxing bit of acting for Ewan as he, in life, never intends on being found anywhere ever

Took 15 takes because he kept retching on the last word.

Fabien’s just in tears like “please, mate…that last one really had a smell to it…just say the fucking line!”

I Know Places (We Can Hide) - House of the Dragon Social Media! AU

Chapter 8: There's Nothing I Hate More Than What I Can't Have (Alternatively: You Are So Gorgeous It Makes Me So Mad)

SUMMARY: Halloweekend 2022 is upon the King's Landing University crew. Brett is banished...for good? Friends keep track of weirdly non-sexual-but-sexual intimate incidences they walk in on between Y/N and Aegon at a party. Aegon accidentally sends texts about Y/N to the wrong groupchat...and there's uh...consequences for it.

PAIRINGS: Aegon Targaryen x Y/N Martell (main), Jace Velaryon x Sara Snow (side), Cregan Stark x Helaena Targaryen (side), Brett Lannister x Y/N Martell (past)

TWs: Adult language, discussions of sex/foreplay, almost voyeuristic friends?, physical assault (mentioned), Brett's (probably) final appearance, the start of a Big Lie

NOTE: Hehe I made a playlist for ye old story...it's a little erratic but like,,,so am I babes.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own or claim to own these character or these photos. It's just a fanfiction.

Burning Coles
(Part Thirteen)
Aemond x Targaryen/Cole!Reader
Jace x Targaryen/Cole!Reader
TW: MDNI +18, Obsessive/Possessive love interests, Inc*st, violence, character death, suggestive themes/scenes, angst
AN: the actress for Cole!Reader’s face isn’t even in the right necklace but lawwrd, that FACE. too good.

The arrival of the King brought two starkly different reactions from his kin.

On your side, it felt like salvation. Your beloved grandsire had not forgotten you. He had come to guard Luke’s claim. The air felt suddenly lighter. And you could see your mother’s eyes widen.

Hope.

original sin (dark!aemond targaryen x reader) (1/2)

Pairing: Dark!Aemond 'One Eye' Targaryen x Older!Velaryon!Reader

Summary: After the death of Alicent Hightower, the Small Council and your father's machinations mean you become the newest bride of King Viserys. It means your relationship with your stepson, Aemond, starts tumultuously. Until it isn't.

banner by @straywords

Word Count: 3.8k

Warnings: 18+ content, age difference (Reader is 10 years older than Aemond), possessive Aemond, canon-typical violence, major character death, minor character death, mentions of infertility, dark Aemond, unprotected sex (don't think Westeros has condoms), aged up characters, manipulation, dubious consent.

A/N: finally going full dark with Aemond. Decided to make Viserys younger and prolong the time before his death for reasons. PLEASE READ THE WARNINGS ABOVE. THIS IS A DARK FIC (canon Aemond is already a fucked up mf but we're leaning into it here). This part is pretty tame but don't let that fool you, the madness will certainly take place.

Baby, It's Cold Outside - Jace Velaryon x Reader, Modern AU

A/N: YALL WATCH LOVE HARD ITS WHAT INSPIRED THIS SO MF CUTE

Summary: When your friend Jace asked you to pretend to be his girlfriend for the holidays with his family, you weren't really sure what to expect. But it definitely wasn't this.

TW: none really, some profanity, alcohol consumption, Aemond slander (IM SORRY)

Word Count: 1,321 words

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the House of The Dragon/Fire & Blood characters nor do I claim to own them. I do not own any of the images used nor do I claim to own them.

Bitches wake up there’s a Christmas one shot

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happy PRIDE i’m here i’m queer and i believe the land should be given back to the proper indigenous stewards.

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Non-Natives reblogging this are great and wonderful

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THE DUCHESS || masterlist

pairing; Anthony Bridgerton x fem!reader

warnings; 18+ ONLY, sexual scenes, adultery, ex-lovers turned enemies

summary; Two years before Daphne's entrance into society, the Duke of Somerset and his new Duchess hastily fled from the ton as soon as their nuptials were completed. Their abrupt departure and extended absence left the entire ton bewildered; speculations of an unearthed scandal infiltrated the conversations of many young misses and mamas.

Their arrival is met with welcome and intrusion- people asking why they'd left, why they had come back, why haven't they produced an heir yet; but there is one Viscount who would do everything in his power to evade the returning Duchess. In a society where every morsel of gossip was published for the entire ton to rip apart, Anthony Bridgerton could not afford to be in her presence.

Because he knows his heart couldn't take it to see her with someone else.

~[TAGLIST]~ <- Click here if you want to be tagged.

CHAPTERS:

[ I ]summary: The Duke and Duchess of Somerset have returned to London for the first time since their marriage, two years ago.

[ II ]

[ III ]

[ IV ]

[ V ]

[ VI ]

[ VII ]

When I Look at You

A/N: Happy 10 years to 1D and happy 10k followers to me! Thank you so much. for the continuous love and support, it means so much to me! So, here, have a 35k fic (which is also my fic for #fallinharry10k).

WC: 35,982

She’s always been the one to drop everything for him, to go out of her way just to see him smile. She’s always been truthful and honest and supported every decision he’s made. She’s always had his back and encouraged him to follow his dreams and ideas. She’s always been there.

So he supposed that’s what compels him to cup her cheeks in his hands and smear his lips against hers in an open-mouthed kiss. 

He supposes that it’s the shock of the situation that renders her frozen for a split second. He supposes that maybe it’s guilt that makes her kiss him back with just as much gentle vigour as he.

or 

Harry’s a pop star, Y/N’s his best friend. He has an album to write, she has a kid to raise. 

//

yesterday (g.w./reader/unrequited!f.w.)

**highly recommend reading both part 1 and part 2 before this!**

wondrous time series: [part 1] [part 2] [PART 3]
Even a broken clock is right twice a day.

Summary: There you come, in the same white satin dress he once saw in a beautiful dream, some hazy August day by a pond, now marrying someone who should’ve been him.

Time is not limitless as Fred Weasley would soon come to realize: what he puts off to tomorrow, he should’ve done yesterday.

August 31st, 1998.

Tags: angst, unrequited love, one-sided pining, weddings

Warnings: swearing, emotional cheating (on Fred's part)

Words: 4.8k

A/N: I had this in my drafts since June but some motivation from a nice Anon (seriously, thank you for your comment!) encouraged me to actually finish it. This is quite a different mood/tone than the first two parts. I'm migrating back to writing more fluff and friends-to-lovers after this, but whew, I love me some Fred angst.

yesterday

Fred and George Weasley are men of dreams. When they were young, they thought often about paving their own path to success. Together, burning the midnight oil, they created wondrous inventions that went beyond Ministry curricula. It was wit beyond their years even if no one, not even their own mother, appreciated it yet. They dreamt of abandoning the regimented course of education and promised they would do it together. They were two parallel lines inked on paper, never one without the other, always alongside each other as they headed in the same direction.

But their dreams begin to diverge when they get older.

Perhaps it’s an issue of birth orders. Fred is the first of the two to see the world, and he is accustomed to the spotlight, possessing an easy and attractive swagger. There is never an issue with female interest, because as brash and boisterous as he comes off, it’s a certain air of confidence that attracts the opposite sex to him.

But therein lies the problem: Fred is fickle. Because when the heart receives excess of what it needs, it starts to get greedy. It never has to anchor itself down when it’s presented with a vast sea of possibilities. And he can wait; there’s no rush to tie himself down when there are always more doors to open, maybe the next better than the last. Nothing can subdue these hot flames of curiosity. But as Fred continued to tread in the deep waters, George anchored. The younger of the twins anchored himself to you, a person he couldn’t see more suitable for him than anyone else in the world.

As the years go on, Fred begins to dream about something that George has. Specifically, he dreams of you. Impossible dreams in which you return his affections, where your eyes soften as you glance at him and only him. Fever dreams in which you are a beautiful apparition, madly in love with him and giving him all your weekends and lazy afternoons. Sick dreams because he awakes in the dead of night covered in a sheen of sweat, because everything feels so real, but it’s not you beside him. It’s the body of his slumbering lover he has to look at with heart-lurching guilt the rest of the night because he’s been dreaming of another woman.

Roommates | James Potter
Summary: Living with three boys can be difficult, even more when you’re head over heels for one of them.
Pairing: James Potter x Fem!reader.
Warnings: Swearing, mentions of razors but no mention of SH, a little crying, mentions of food, caps. (Tell me if I missed anything else)
A/N: I'm rewatching New Girl cause why not and this thought came to me. ALSO THIS IS VERY UNEDITED.

When you moved in with the boys, you had just got laid off from your job at the ministry. So you were working part-time at a muggle cafe shop.

“Look I don’t care if you guys are murders, actually I might care a little, but honestly I just need a place to live,” you explained as you face the three boys, who were sitting across from youz

“I'm sorry but you look so familiar?” Sirius said as he rests his chin on his palm. “Right?! I was just thinking that!” James exclaimed making Remus roll his eyes.

“You’re joking right?” You looked at them with disbelief. Remus sighed before turning to them. “You both are idiots, do you not remember her from school?” When he was met with a blank look from both of them he continued. “She was a year under us? We dropped ink on her and her friend?”

“Merlin, how were you Head boy? I was a Prefect!” You crossed your arms and scoffed at the boy.

You genuinely wondered why the oaf dumbledore made someone so daft a head boy? He made sixth year so much harder. Thank merlin Lily Evans was with him. You were just at her wedding last month. You were close to her wife. You and Lily had become close friends last year.

Actually, you saw them there considering after a while Lily had become close friends with them. You said hello to Remus as you were once partners on Prefect duty.

“Well because of my charisma and charm,” James smirked and Sirius gave him a high five, wearing a matching smirk. You smirk back at them "Those both mean the same thing, you gits."

"No, no it doesn't," James mumbled losing his smirk. "yes, yes it does." You continued to smirk and James continued to mumble. "No, it doesn't," Remus smiled “Yes it does mate just let it go."

“Didn’t you guys have a fourth person in your quartet? Or it wouldn’t be called a quartet it would be a trio.” You asked. Sirius looked down sadly. “Umm, we lost him.”

Your eyes widened. “Oh my god, I am so sorry for your loss.” James then chuckled “No, No! he got married right after school.”

“Why would you say it like that?!” You asked Sirius incredulously. “It’s just as bad!” He answered looking like you offended him.

“No.” “It’s definitely not.” Remus and James both said at the same time. “Whatever.” Sirius huffed.

“Ok.” You gave a tight smile before going back to asking for the extra room. “I genuinely just need a place to stay, please?”

Remus leaned forward, his forearms on the dining table. “Can you pay the rent of £60.75 of rent every month?" You thought for a little remembering your salary. "Yes."

Sirius narrowed his eyes. "You sure? took you a long time to get that answer?" He said this condescendingly which made you narrow your eyes back at him.

"I work as a waitress at a diner after getting sacked from a really good ministry job, which I was even lucky to get at the first place since it was only one year after I left Hogwarts and now I'm getting minimum wage for shitty work that I never planned on doing. So I'm sorry if it took me a while to see if I could afford to live." You started getting hysterical towards the end and laughed like this was all some big joke.

The three boys looked at you concerned but you only cleared your throat before continuing "Any other questions?"

"No," James squeaked out before handing you a key. "Welcome home,"

"Awww thank you," Your mood changed and you took the key before walking off.

You had spent the first month basically going on and on about how the ministry sucked which wasn't great for the two Aurors. Remus didn't mind, he sort of agreed. But as time past you got more comfortable and so did they. The first time you got really mad was really a shock for them. It really proved how comfortable all were with each other.

"I SWEAR TO MERLIN!" They heard from upstairs where your room was. All the boys looked terrified. You have had mini screaming sessions at them but this sounded bad.

“What did we do?” James asked looking at Remus with wide eyes. Remus only shrugged with the same expression on his face before they both turn to Sirius. "I didn't do anything."

"Sirius, you always do something." Remus counters. "But I didn't this time." James now had a look of surprise on his face. "You really didn't?" When Sirius shakes his head he scoffs. "Then who did?!"

"All fucking three of you!" They turned around to see you in a towel dripping wet, fuming with anger. "Isn't this a sight for sore eyes" James flirts leaning on the kitchen island.

You glared at him and say "Not now twit." Remus furrowed his eyebrows and mouthed ‘twit?’ to himself. "I didn't even get the chance to use this conditioner and it's done!" You shouted at them, throwing an empty plastic bottle of conditioner at the wall narrowly missing Sirius's head. "Merlin!" Sirius shouted moving his head and clutching his chest.

"You dented it." James pointed to the dent in the wall. "You're gonna need to pay for that." Remus stated.

"I would if I wasn't broke so we're going to have to wait until I get my next paycheck." You were still shouting at them. "How much did that conditioner cost?" James questioned.

"150 pounds." You said. "150 pounds?!" Sirius shouted. "Why the fuck would you buy a conditioner for 150 pounds?" Remus asked in shock.

"Well because I didn't think you knobs would finish my conditioner!" You raged at them. "I didn't even put it out yet! It was in the drawer waiting for my use. You three made a deal!"

The boys looked down guiltily. "What was the deal?!" You asked. "We don't go into your drawer and you don't steal our clothes." They all mumbled looking down. "I'm sorry? I couldn't hear you." You jeered.

"We don't go into your drawer and you don't steal our clothes." They said louder. "You don't go into my drawer and I don't steal your clothes!" You repeated to them shouting so loud the birds stopped chirping.

"And yet, my razors are all gone, and whoever one of you did that really what the fuck," Sirius blushed subtly out of embarrassment but you didn’t notice as you continue to count. "And my pads have disappeared, what did you use that for?"

"We thought they were eyemasks." James blurted. "What?" You ask with scrunched eyebrows. "In our defence...yeah we don't have a defence, we're idiots." Remus tried.

"You are. and now you broke my end of the deal so, I break yours." You smiled wickedly as they all get up trying to stop you. "Incarcarous." You said bringing your wand out from where it was on the counter and tying all there of them making them fall to the ground.

"Arrivederci." You gave a little wave heading for each of their rooms.

You managed to steal almost half of each of their clothes and they have yet to see them. You wore most of it in your room or when you are out without them where they couldn't see you. You especially loved James's hoodies. You were actually wearing one when you realized your feelings for him.

"Hello and welcome to Rosie's place, my name is Y/N and Ill be you- oh what are you guys doing here." You were finishing up a late shift at the diner. Sitting in the booth in front of you were Remus, Sirius, James and Sirius's brother Regulus.

"I tried to stop them I swear," Regulus said making James roll his eyes. "I'm about to finish my shift, I can meet you guys outside."

Sirius shook his head. "No can we get 4 chocolate milkshakes." You looked at him tiredly. You had been working since 9 am and it's 10pm rn. You never got off your feet and your break was cut short because your co-worker needed you to cover for her. You could've said no but she covered for you before and you needed to repay the favour.

"Of course." You gave a tight smile and went to the kitchen. James noticed how you looked exhausted and wondered when was the last time you ate. Ten minutes later you came out with four chocolate milkshakes and set them down in front of them. "I'm gonna start closing up so drink fast."

James stood up behind you. "Can I help?" He asked. "Just drink the milkshake I made, it'll only take a few minutes."

James was definitely worried but knew you wouldn't take the help so he just sat and drank his milkshakes with his buds. When you came back you took the empty glasses and went back to the kitchen but this time Remus noticed your exhaustion as well and looked at James with concern.

As you leave Remus voiced his thoughts. "When did Y/N leave for work?" Sirius thought for a bit before answering. "8:30," Regulus's eyes widened. "13 hours of working?!"

"Ok cmon guys let's go." You smiled going out in a light blue hoodie and yoga pants and your backpack on your back. "Ok ill drive your car cmon." James smiled standing up.

"I can drive." You said with a hard face. "Yeah just because you can doesn't mean you should, let's get you home, love" James grabbed your hand and drags you to your car.

As soon as you sat in the chair you felt as if a weight has been lifted from your shoulder. You gave a sigh in content as you rested your head on the window and closed your eyes. Jame smiled fondly at you. "You'll be in bed soon enough, darling."

You were very close to falling asleep when you heard James say one more thing. "Goodnight love." You fell asleep with a new feeling washing over you. You liked James. a lot.

When you both confessed your feelings it was a very chaotic day. But you wouldn't have had it any other way.

"What the hell is going on?" Lily asked as she walked into the mess you call home. You huff and try to rub off the paint on your face but end up making it worse. "Remus forgot he had to plan his cousins birthday, and she's coming at 4."

"That's in an hour."

"I know." You turned around and walk into the kitchen. Lily walked in behind you and saw you going over to a huge banner on the kitchen island. half of it was hanging off and empty. "Why aren't any of the other relatives are helping?" Lily asked.

"No one actually likes her, not even Remus but for some reason, he's doing it." You explained going back to painting the Y in Birthday.

"Can I help?"

"Yeah, just grab a brush and help me paint the rest of the banner." At that moment Sirius walked in looking scared. "Remus is going ballistic, he's shouting at everyone, Peter is hyperventilating in a corner and James is trying to calm him down.

You looked up and sighed. "Lily, can you take over while I figure that out?" You asked already taking off your apron. "Yeah of course," She said kindly.

Sirius left and you followed him to the living room. As he said, Remus was shouting while blowing up balloons, Peter was looking terrified and sweating through his shirt, and James was trying to calm both of them down.

"Remus, it's okay, when have you ever not completed a task? remember 4th year when you were sure you weren't gonna learn all the plants for the herbology test but you got highest in class." James explained with a smile.

"I didn't get top, Alice Longbottom did," Remus stated, before going back to blowing up balloons with the pump. You decided to step in.

"Remus, you'll be fine, I don't even know why you're doing this but whatever it is about, you'll be fine." You smiled comfortingly and Remus stopped his movement for a second. "Because you have us, and we will always be here." You sat next to him on the brown couch and placed a hand on his shoulder.

James did the same on his other side and gave Remus a comforting smile. "My family won't be that accepting of my sexuality as my mother was," Remus started to explain with a sigh.

"Somehow, she found out and since no one would throw her a birthday party she decided to blackmail me into doing it or she would reveal it to them."

Sirius looked at Remus with a sympathetic but understanding smile.

"Remus, you told me that the only opinion you value is us, your mother, and yourself. Obviously, we accept and so does your mother, so why do you care what they think?" Peter asked rhetorically, not really expecting an answer.

"Because every aspect is weird, this was the only thing left that was like them," Remus said as tears gather in his eyes. Sirius walked over to him and kneels down in front of him.

"Remus Lupin, you should be thankful. Why would you want to be like those knobs?" Sirus smiled up at him. "I mean look around you, do you think anyone here is normal?" He laughed slightly making Remus laugh as well.

"Peter married one of the most beautiful girls in school, I mean we never saw that happening." Sirius pointed to Peter who laughed at his comment. "James here can turn into a stag and was 100% sure he was in love with a lesbian for 2 years."

James rolled his eyes at his friend, from where he was sitting still rubbing his friend's shoulder. "Y/N works a muggle job after she got fired from her job because she charmed all the paper aeroplanes to hit that arse licker, Umbridge, which I'm still confused about how she didn't get sent to Azkaban." Remus laughs some more.

"You do not want to know." You said with a glare. "Okay," Sirius says with fear written all over his face. " And I'm a like super gay wizard, who escaped his family at 15, and broke his brother out at 17 by biting him." Sirius laughed recounting their mission to save Regulus from the terrible place.

"Ok, I need to hear that story sometime." You told Sirius and he gives you a nod and wink. "What we're trying to say, is we'll help you with this birthday party Remus and when you're ready to tell your family, we'll be right next to you."

You smiled at the four boys and they all smile back. A few tears had escaped his eyes, and Sirius wiped them off. "Okay." Remus chuckled. "Okay?" James asked also chuckling. "Yeah, Okay."

"You heard the man, we have 45 minutes, move it." You shout clapping your hands as all the boys scramble to get everything done.

30 minutes later and you were done decorating. It was a garden party that looked absolutely spectacular. You guys had waited 3 hours for all the guests to arrive before finally, Remus's cousin arrived.

Everyone was furious at her tardiness.

"Lola!! How are you?" Remus said with a fake smile going to hug his cousin only to be stopped by her hand. "This will do," She said with a roll of her eyes before leaving them to say hi to other people.

"That bitch." Lily said angrily glaring at the girl as she walked away. "I know," Remus growled.

"Not even a thank you? We waited 3 hours for her in the scorching heat and were forced to entertain these guests, and we don't even get a thank you?!" James said with wide eyes as he turned to you. "Supreme Arsehole." You smiled up at him, making him laugh at your choice of insult.

"Supreme Arsehole?"

"I'm just saying if there was an Arseholevile she'd be Queen." You grinned as you started laughing with him.

"Okay, cmon guys let's start serving food," Sirius said with a sigh.

It had been an hour, and it was time to sing Happy Birthday. Remus had this weird smile on his face. James and you were curious but at the same time concerned.

"What do you think is wrong with him?" You asked James from where you stood at the back, away from everyone. "That's the smile he does after he does something maraurdery."

"That's not a word"

"Yes, it is."

"We are not doing this again." You sighed with a grin on your face before turning back to where the cake was.

"Before we sing Happy Birthday, I have a special surprise for Lola," Remus said walking up to Lola. Not even a second goes by before you hear a wooshing and look up to see Fireworks going off.

The words, ' I'M BI BITCHES!!' were written in the sky with the colours pink blue and purple.

You laugh up at the sky, and look down to see Remus with a huge smile on his face. "I like your laugh," James stated from beside you making you turn around.

He looked at you with a huge grin on his face. "You did that." You told him, looking into his eyes. "No I didn't do that, you did." He corrected.

"How about we both did it." You negotiate and he turns his head around to look at the fireworks. "Yeah." He sighs.

You went for a kiss on the cheek when he turned his head around seemingly wanting to say something else. Your lips connected for a second before you both pull back with wide eyes.

Both of you looked into each other's eyes before James grabs the back of your neck with his hand and pushed you both together. His lips were chapped but you liked it. You kissed with so much passion, if his other hand wasn't on your waist, you would have fallen. You both pulled apart when you needed to breathe.

Your lips were still hovering over each other. "Wow." You said breathless looking into his eyes with so much emotion. "Yeah wow." He replied, looking at you the exact same way.

And the rest was history, One year later you got married. And then you had your son Harry one year after getting married. And in 1991 you were saying goodbye to him at Platform 9 and 3/4.

"Now Sweetheart, remember to be nice and make friends." You smile at your son flattening his collar.

"I know mum." Harry smiled at his worried mother, before pulling her into a hug. "I'm going to miss you, mum," Harry says. You feel tears well up in your eyes and you hug him tighter. "Oh you're so big right now, weren't you just a fetus in my stomach, like last week.

"Muuum," Harry pulls away embarrassed. James kneels down in front of Harry with a smile of his own tears already gathering in his eyes.

"Now son, I love you so much, and you have Gryffindor written all over you, so make me proud." You slap your husband's arm. "James!"

"I'm joking, Bubsy." James smiles ruffling Harry's hair. "Daaad, don't call me that anymore."

"What Bubsy? wow, you really have grown up." James fake gasps at his son. "I remember when you were jus-" Harry cuts him off.

"Okay, Okay I get it." He laughs before hugging his dad.

"You have to go now." You say, a few tears going down your face. "Go get 'em Champ," James pulls away.

and just like that, he was off.

❝Guilt and regret can eat a person alive. The words that died at your throat affected you far more than you would have wanted them to. How does that, in turn, impact your mission?❞

PART 05 OF ARRANGED | SERIES MASTERLIST

PAIRING: George Weasley x fem!Reader

AUTHOR'S NOTE: So I spent the last two days rewriting/perfect-ing this chapter. At one point I actually decided to add a more bitter ending but lucky for, I think, I deleted it. I really hope you enjoy, do tell me how you liked it- my asks are always open, anonymously or not.

WARNING(S): mentions of food and drink, anxiety, blood, injuries, talk of death, mention of nausea

WORD COUNT: 2,215

Bloom // H.P.

Summary: Healing doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a process that can take months, if not, years to come to terms with. It’s been five years since the Battle of Hogwarts and the end of the Second Wizarding War. Harry finally feels ready to confront feelings that have long been sat, growing unattended in the recesses of his mind and soul.

A/N: This was inspired by the made-up fic title that I did a few weeks ago. I got so stuck on this, I couldn’t get any further, but inspiration somewhat struck and here we are. I know this is long, but I am so so proud of this, I would love some interaction with this. Take a chance, please.

Warnings: feelings of sadness, grief, worthlessness, more visits to graveyards, talks of death. This sounds dark, and parts are, but there is so much fluff and comfort and pining in this.

Word count: 9.4k