Hosting at the Xhorhouse - c2e62

i feel like we as a society don't talk enough about the november 2006 album charts

The gays were in middle school goin thru it

obviously dietary requirements aren't a joke but my grandma sometimes runs errands for her church and i asked her what she's up to today and she said extremely seriously "ive got to track down the body of the gluten free christ, julia"

this totally scans for a swear intensifier btw. what in the gluten free christ is going on here, Julia

when tumblr is like "this post went to heaven" brother that is not where these posts go when they die

You’ve been hit by 🔪

You’ve been struck by 🔪

A Roman Senator 🔪🔪🔪

CAESER ARE YOU OKAY

ARE YOU OKAY CEASER

I DIDN’T LEARN ABOUT THIS IN DRIVING SCHOOL

Stop says the red light, go says the green

Wait says the yellow light, twinkling in between. 

KNEEL, SAYS THE DEMON LIGHT WITH ITS EYE OF COAL  SAURON KNOWS YOUR LICENSE PLATE  AND STARES INTO YOUR SOUL

THIS IS ALWAYS FUNNY

@irritatedlifeguard I agree with your tags.

Nearsighted werewolves.

They show up on the wrong nights because they think the moon is full, but it’s not.

the follow up here is absolutely fucking vital

ONLY MURDERS IN THE BUILDING cast for EMMY MAGAZINE

We do it like four times. So maybe the repetition caught on with people but I have people coming up to me being like oh yeah did that song all the time. I’m like no we didn’t we did it once in the first season and that was it….. -Jennifer

…You did it recently, you and Selena did it again recently. -David

Yeah we did after a few cocktails. -Jennifer

I love coming across polls they’re like little checkpoints of self reflection. After lots of thought I can say that my favorite reptile is a turtle.

the most "fucking, fair enough i guess" response ive ever gotten to something i said was in the ER

me: hi, i need a rabies shot triage nurse: oh? why's that? me: i got bitten by a bat triage nurse: what were you doing that you got bitten by a bat at 3 in the morning? me: removing a bat from my bedroom

im given to understand that it generally takes a lot to leave ER staff speechless, but it sure was a good 5 seconds before she thought of anything to say to that

Please reblog after you vote to increase sample size