Oy With The Poodles

In which I am both of them

i absolutely set people up to infodump at me, it's one of my absolute favourite ways to learn things! you mean i get to LEARN NEW STUFF from a FRIEND who is INCANDESCENT OVER SHARING? sign me up FOREVER.

he’s gay

and he’s still at it

I love that these boys’ response to an honestly nightmarish scenario is to get in the hall and play.

I'm thinking it's a destroyer which is much smaller and more affected by weather. I served on a carrier four years and four deployments. We didn't experience this, but when we were going through storms I'd be in a rolly office chair at my desk and when we hit swells the chairs would slowly just roll back until you hit the lockers behind us and couldn't reach the key board. We used to make games out of how far we could roll.

Ships are boring. This is Prime Entertainment.

https://twitter.com/northumbriana/status/846454474654781442

"Why are you so obessed with found family?"

I watched this as a kid and internalized it for forever

Lilo and Stitch really said "This is my family. I found it, all on my own. It’s little, and broken, but still good. Yeah. Still good." And i still live by that

This. This is what peak *FOUND FAMILY* looks like.

Bff’s from the beginning.

that baby is making biscuits on that cat. what a role reversal.

Omg!!!!

#it’s extra good because kneading is something that kittens do to their moms!! #so #baby is like: ah yes soft cat shall pet #and cat is like: ah yes human kitten is just doing What Kittens Do :) #amazing #10/10 i love it

When women write the mental breakdown:

“Among us” is a wonderful way to show the fallibility of eyewitness accounts.

“Okay students. Next we’re going to read The Crucible, but first we’re going to spend an hour playing Among Us on the school wifi.

I saw Goody Proctor vent in medbay

#can people stop hiring paul bettany to be ice cold and whispery  #and hire him again to be A HYPER CON ARTIST STAND-UP EMCEE AGAIN  #pls and thnk u

drunk, queer, naked, slutty, loud, and completely full of shit truly, the greatest role he has every portrayed

The three genders: lords, ladies, and not-sitting-on-a-cushion

Sometimes I remember that there’s a massive beef in the paleontological community between Jack Horner and Robert Bakker and it’s so big that when they both worked as advisers on the Jurassic Park films, Spielberg made 2 characters based on them and had a T. rex eat Bakker’s character as a favour to Horner.

“The bearded paleontologist Dr. Robert Burke, who is eaten by a Tyrannosaurus rex in Steven Spielberg’s film The Lost World: Jurassic Park, is an affectionate caricature of Bakker.

In real life, Bakker has argued for a predatory T. rex, while Bakker’s rival paleontologist Jack Horner views it as primarily a scavenger.

According to Horner, Spielberg wrote the character of Burke and had him killed by the T. rex as a favor for Horner. After the film came out, Bakker recognized himself in Burke, loved the caricature, and actually sent Horner a message saying, ‘See, I told you T. rex was a hunter!’.”

God this is still funny

Academia is very serious

I adore this, because only in a paleotological fued can both parties be satisfied with a caricature of one being eaten by a t-rex.

i’m so done with the way girls in twenties are treated. i’m so done with people who literally create timetable for us. 20- 24  find a guy, 24-26 make him propose to you, 27-29 get married. i’m so done. i’m do not want to get 2 a.m texts from my best friend who is freaking out that she is gonna die alone. i do not want see my 20 years old friend wasting her time on some guys who are not even interested in her. i do not want see us falling for every nice guy who does not look creepy. i do not want to see girls get sad or paranoid just bcos they do not fill in the schedule. you are ok. you should enjoy your life at its fullest and one day you will find 10/10 so do not pursue 6 just because you do not want to be single. it is ok and one day you will find someone. do not split your love with people who does not deserve it. keep it for yourself and when time will come you will know. i know it hurts. i know you wish u could just open part of yourself and release the buzzing love. but not every kind of love is romantic. show it to your family, friends, plants, yourself.

Not a real criticism, just an expansion really, but …  it’s not just the timetables we need to get away from, but the goal itself, I think.  “One day you will find someone,” sounds comforting, but the reason it doesn’t lay fears to rest is because we are all smart enough to know it’s not necessarily true.

My aunt is over sixty, never married, and never, so far as I am aware, ever even had a great romance.  She dated a lot, but never clicked and now seems to have given up.  My mentor is over seventy, divorced her asshole husband more than half her life ago and has never found anyone since.

We all know women (and men) like these.  And because we know them, we know that “one day you will find someone,” is just … hogwash.  Because sometimes you just … don’t.  Or sometimes you do, but he turns out to be a cad.  Or you do and the universe rips you apart in the most unfair way possible.  And because society has us so fixated on finding “our other half” or whatever, we view these women as cautionary tales.

But … 

My aunt trains dogs.  Her schipperke is the national champion for his breed.  She spent so much of her life as a librarian, nurturing the love of books in kids, myself among them.  I ride horses because of her, and it’s one of the very few things I do that makes my soul feel at peace.

My mentor is one of the best criminal defense attorneys in her state.  She has devoted her life to fighting to ensure that everyone gets a vigorous defense.  Because of her countless people have had the opportunity to turn their lives around.  Because of her, they’ve had a life to turn around.  Because of her, the prosecution and the police in her jurisdiction are forced to behave ethically and adhere to the rule of law.  She’s still, even now fighting to abolish the death penalty.  It’s because of her that I am pursuing the life I am.

These women’s lives are not nothing.  In fact they are a whole lot of something, and it makes my heart hurt that I ever, in my dark 3 am’s, thought of their lives as something to be avoided at all costs.

So love your family, your friends, your pets, your gardens.  Love your job or your hobby or your raison d’ etre, whatever it is.  Love sunsets and the smell of rain and yourself, and don’t love these as something to do as a placeholder until the buzzing, romantic love comes, but love these as things worth loving all in themselves.

It’s fucking hard some days.  The dark 3 am’s still come sometimes.  But most days, I am so much more at peace knowing that I am not incomplete or waiting, but that my life, if it ended today, is worth it because of the platonic, familial, friendship love I have shared.  And if the other kind does come someday, that’ll be nice, but it won’t make any of the others less.  It’ll just be caramel sauce on a sundae–tasty and wonderful, but the sundae was perfect without it too.

I needed this today.

I am just loving seeing us women get older and be happy together. Partnership is nice, but contentment has been better every single time for me.

L E G E N D A R Y

Fuck dude you really can’t

This is the first ad I’ve seen on here that actually fits tumblr’s demographic

I keep using my girlfriend with unusual work hours to get out of coworker interactions and happy hours and hanging out.

But now the company holiday party is upon us.

And I’ve been lying about the girlfriend.

I suddenly really empathise with the characters in Hallmark Christmas movies.

I like that people have two reactions to this post.

Reasonable: “just say she couldn’t make it!”

Chaotic: FAKE DATING AU

Well, which one is it going to be?

And so it begins

having the DMV area Craigslist bookmarked has never come in handy before but now

Update, Craigslist has flagged my post as inappropriate.

Apparently you can’t solicit a date as a “gig”

I now see my mistake

Update: a date has been acquired. This is true lesbian solidarity in action.

My wife has now read this and wonders how baby gays are even meeting and mating

Can confirm I am meeting and mating just fine 😂

By the way I’m in a relationship with this woman now

This is the feedback I’ve been looking for

in the new COD you can be nonbinary in the CIA and when u meet Ronald Reagan he respects your pronouns. i dont know how to process this information at all

Reagan let the AIDs epidemic kill an entire generation of queer people because he was too busy practicing the right pronouns for his non-binary CIA agent

same energy

destiel going canon only in spanish and an episode of the animaniacs reboot getting pulled for showing a number to a phone sex hotline within 12 hours of each other is the cherry on top of this batshit fucking month

why does destiel keep being the vehicle for my learning wild and completely unrelated information

I've basically given up and accepted that news will now be fed to me wrapped in destiel as if I'm a dog being given a pill wrapped in cheese.

does anyone else secretly have that “i liked it before it was cool” complex but wont admit it

it’s more along the lines of “you guys were fucking making fun of me for liking this before it was cool” kinda complex

Also a “I super excitedly tried to show this to you years ago and you brushed it off and now you think you introduced it to me and that is infuriating” kinda complex

Also the common subspecies  “I  tried to show this to you years ago and you brushed it off but now someone ELSE has made noises about it you suddenly think it’s worthy of note and don’t understand why I would feel insulted by that”