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@laurenattawia

filmmaker // this blog is the ultimate shitpost

Hannibal, Promotional Images S1 [x]

They really sold it to nbc as a procedural huh.

Never forget how TOTALLY HILARIOUSLY OFF-BASE the season one promo was.

NBC, purchasing Hannibal: procedurals are great! everyone loves crime shows!

NBC, airing Hannibal:

This is hillarious. Just look at the 4 of them. Just standing them as if they are a team of crime fighters. 

Crime fighters. Nothing could be further from the truth. BWHAHAHAHAHA!

Source: thejennire

Mark the electrician has been here for five minutes and he’s already said “well that’s…weird” twice from the other room and frankly I’m afraid to ask.

It’s not good when skilled tradesman are standing in the middle of your room pinching the bridge if their nose, is it?

Mark just referred to the wiring in our bedroom as “creative” and “interesting”.

This is fine.

And now he’s taking apart the ceiling. I’m not worried, are any of you worried? I’m not, haha, it’s not like this house was previously owned by someone who would do something stupid like try to wire their house themselves…or store tins of varnish under the furnace behind a secret alcove…

Ha ha…

Ha.

Hm.

Fuck.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE’S NO NEUTRAL WIRES??!?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT’S GROUNDED INTO THE SCREWS HOLDING UP THE CEILING LIGHT???!?!!

This post crosses my dashboard every so often and every time, I’m reminded of when I discovered that my whole house was grounded to a gas line.

Good times.

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The slimmest #sketchbook ever, which has been carried around the world and basically destroyed…

Have some Rafael Casal, Daveed Diggs, Lin Manuel Miranda, Mads Mikkelsen, Hugh Dancy, horrible flowers and badly painted nails ♡✧( ु•⌄• )

ALL 👏🏾 OF 👏🏾 THEM 👏🏾

This post goes harder than any post has ever gone before.

the sheer amount of Fucks Not Given in these photos is creating a Black Hole Of Ungiven Fucks, sucking in all the bullshit over the Fuck You event horizon and trapping it so the bullshit can’t escape. It’s gorgeous. 

Reblog to hurl your leftover Fucks into the Black Hole of Ungiven Fucks

President Obama tries to get a driver’s license

this is funny

his face in the last one 😭😭😭

I don’t care about your political beliefs, but just compare Obama’s sense of humor to Trump’s fat shaming and jokes about disabled people and goddamn I miss Obama.

Sigh…

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please read this

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Okay, so I’ve seen some of the tags on this, and a lot of it is making fun of this dude for thinking he was straight when it was so clear he wasn’t.

But ya’ll don’t get it. This is EXACTLY what it’s like to be bi. If you grew up in any sort of environment where LGBT was Not Accepted, and you had any inclination toward the opposite sex, you just ran with that, because that’s all you were ever taught to look towards. And because for the longest time even the media was all ‘you’re either gay or straight’, forgetting that the B in LGBT has been there for quite a fucking while, you had no outside stories or icons you could turn to for guidance. 

No one teaches you what being in a same sex relationship is supposed to be like or feel like, and what’s worse, most likely all you know is a caricature of what a homosexual relationship and/or person is, so your own experiences really won’t match up. So none of what’s happening to you makes sense with what you know.

So I can 100% fully believe my dude here thought he was straight. Until society teaches what it also means to be bi, this will neither be the last nor weirdest story you ever hear about a bisexual awakening.

Give the dude a chance.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Absolutely bonkers shit that legitimately happens in NBC Hannibal (an incomplete list):

  • Will beats a furry to death while fantasizing about Hannibal getting off to being beaten to death
  • A man??? Gets folded into an origami heart???????
  • A villains actual honest to god evil plan is to steal Will’s face so that he can eat Hannibal’s penis with it
  • Said villain then gets eaten by his pet eel??? After having his sperm harvested so his sister’s girlfriend can bear his child and inherit his wealth??
  • Honestly just Mason Verger in general: ??????
  • That time Hannibal waves at another serial killer and says “hello I love your work” before killing him
  • Hannibal wears at least four patterns at the same time and no one gouges their eyes out or tells him it looks awful
  • Fish jello treated as a delicacy that the average American would consume without vomiting
  • Feel free to add more
  • “Is your social worker in that horse?”– a legitimate question that gets a rather heartbreakingly sincere “Yes” in response.
  • Hannibal getting caught sniffing Will during their session, then critiquing how he smells and Will deciding this is totally acceptable behavior and coming back for more????
  • Hannibal getting off to Will telling him he’d kill Hannibal with his hands
  • Will sailing across the ocean to find Hannibal in Europe while making a pit-stop at Hannibal’s childhood castle 
  • Hannibal being the King of Pettiness and the Queen of Drama and sending a serial killer after Will’s new pre-assembled family because he did not spend three years in a glass cage manned by his ex-girlfriend and the Disappointing Chilton to be disrespected like this
  • Hannibal stuffing an ear down his only friend’s throat to frame him for murder then murdering the judge that pronounced said friend guilty, because he got lonely.
  • Frederick Chilton’s entire existence
  • Hannibal breaking a guy’s neck out of second hand embarrassment
  • The entire fifthsome scene
  • Hannibal feeding a man his own baked leg and the man’s first comment after taking a bite being ‘My compliments to the Chef’
  • Hannibal straight up making cannibal jokes in front of a Criminal Profiler, three Psychiatrists, a Reporter and an FBI Agent specialized in Behavioral Sciences
  • Hannibal and Will just decide to adopt a daughter together after having known each other for like three days; still aren’t sure if they’re even friends
  • Jack goes to dinner at Hannibal’s house even more often after he finds out it’s all human meat
  • Will spends months having seizures and somehow never has one in front of anyone except Hannibal, nor drives off the road
  • Hannibal eats a Raw Human Lip that was bitten off its native face by someone other than him and then mailed

Some more from the replies and tags:

  • The human cello
  • The man who castrated himself, then flayed the skin off his own back to make wings, then strung himself up in a barn????? (Who could also somehow See evil people??????)
  • The man Hannibal grafted into a tree (not formed into a tree, not stuck branches on, but literally grafted into a living tree)
  • Dolarhyde eating that painting. He just fuckin cronches it
  • The time there is a LIVING BIRD inside a cadaver
  • The human totem pole how could I forget this most iconique creation
  • A pig is used semi-successfully as a surrogate host for a human embryo????
  • Hannibal realizes that he’s heartbroken and LITERALLY says “I have to eat him” (then proceeds to attempt to do so)