yall: go over your answers before turning them in

me a bitch whos never wrong: i think the fuck not

Me, after I get a 73 on whatever it is: what the fuck

Welcome to Japan

Where cars are parked orderly and in reverse

Where fruits can be cubes

Where people keep left

And lamps have different brightness for double beds

People queue up in lines

Applies to stickers too

Where what you get is the same as the poster

you get waved goodbye..?

Relieving both mind and body

Yup.

Smooth train operator

No embarrassing knocking or barging into rooms to check out if they are occupied

When you need an extra hand

For the selfiestas

Brolly holders

Because normal manhole covers are too mainstream

Think diagonal

And anytime u need to soak your feet

Where you raise responsible adults, not brats

And luggage is organised in color codes

When you need help after the condom broke

Instant sanitary gratification

Why they are so welcome at football matches

Where water is that clean in the drains

Nuff said

Source: imgur.com

THIS IS TOO MUCH WHOLESOME IN A TINY BODY

i made a college vine compilation b/c Suffering™️

(warning for loud noise in some of them)

It’s funny cause it’s true

seduce me with ur history knowledge 

vikings made their woman handle the finances because they thought math is witchcraft

During a military campaign, Vlad the Impaler, the basis for Dracula, once pulled his troops out of a major engagement in a valley at dusk so that the sun was in their enemies’ eyes. Once they were over the hill, they set loose a bunch of rabid bats who flew away from the sun (towards the enemy) and attacked them, leading to significant infection in their ranks, and Vlad’s eventual victory. Because of how the bats appeared from where Vlad’s soldiers appeared to be at dusk, myth stated that the soldiers turned into bats at night, which is where the “Dracula can change into a bat” thing came from.

raphael, the renaissance painter, literally fucked himself to death

during the Ottoman Empire, the Sultan Ibrahim I had 280 of his concubines drowned in the ocean after ONE of them slept with another man.

The earths carbon levels fell by 700 million tons because Genghis Khan killed so many people

King James (the one known for revising the Bible) liked to watch women give birth. That’s where the “tradition” of women laying on their backs to give birth comes from.

Previous to that it was common for women to have chairs with holes in them and straw underneath, so they could sit on this special chair and let gravity help with the birthing process.

Spicy foods were thought to increase libido and cause children to masturbate. To prevent kids from touching themselves at night, a man named Kellogg invented the blandest combination of cereals, marketed it at kids, and called it Corn Flakes

At the Battle of Gettysburg during the American Civil War, a small group of Union soldiers had run out of ammo against a large group of the Confederate Army. In a panic, the Union soldiers sprinted at them, screaming, with only bayonets drawn. The entire Confederate Army that was present turned and ran away in fear, not knowing that they had literally no ammunition.

When the Roman Emperor Caligula went to invade Britain he stood on the coast of Gaul with his army and suddenly declared war on Neptune, God of the Sea. He had his men collect sea shells from the shore as “spoils from the Ocean”.

Oh and he appointed his horse to the senate.

During the Austro-Prussian war of 1868, Liechtenstein sent over an army of 80 people, but ended up coming back with 81 people because they befriended a guy on the other side.

People refused to send art and sculptures to be displayed at the Chicago World’s Fair because of Chicago’s history with fire. They had to fireproof the Fine Arts building to get people to agree to loan them their art. A year after the fair closed most of the grounds were destroyed by fire but the Fine Arts building survived. It’s now the Museum of Science and Industry.

The carbon emissions thing from Ghenghis Khan is not the whole story. He also planted trees wherever he conquered land because he liked trees and thought they were important. He conquered enough to make an impact on the global climate.

Radu III, brother of Vlad III( Vlad the Impaler)  nearly killed Mehmed II, the future Sultan of the Ottoman’s, after Mehmed invited him up to his chambers. Radu, seemingly unaware that the offer was sexual in nature, was startled when Mehmed embraced and then tried to kiss him. Radu stabbed the prince in the leg, then ran and hid in a tree. They later became lovers, and maintained a relationship for the rest of their lives

Just googled the last one because holy shit that’s magnificent and seemed to good to be true, but not only did it actually happen, but I also learned that radu was known as “radu the beautiful”

fun date idea: stab him in the leg

you ever see girls that are so pretty that you don’t know what to do with yourself

i made a pretty girl laugh w/a silly joke and i got so flustered that i apologized

this pretty girl told me my hair was cute and touched it briefly and I couldn’t form full sentences for a solid 10 minutes.

at a football game a pretty girl told me i was cute and she also called me kiddo and i couldnt play my instrument right for the rest of the night

every girl I see is pretty, I am in a constant state of paralysis

this pretty girl offered to teach me how to longboard and when she was teaching me how to balance she put her hands on my hips and I felt my soul leave my body

one time a pretty girl called me “gorgeous” and I was so shocked and flustered that I literally cried right in front of her

today a pretty girl walked me out of class and i was surprised when she kept walking even though we reached her bus stop and i asked her where she was heading and she said “oh i just wanted to walk you to wherever you’re going” and we both blushed

at work this summer there was a pretty girl who came in multiple times a week and every single day she showed up I would lose the ability to form coherent sentences for at least ten minutes

A pretty cashier at the campus store told me I was pretty and I got so flustered that when I went back to my room I had to lay down for half an hour and my roommate was starting to get concerned. 

There’s a REALLY pretty girl in my band class and she’s three chairs away from me and every time I even glance up at her she looks back and smiles at me and I forget how to read music

This entire post just added 10 years to my life and soul

Once I was getting off the bus and there was a girl so beautiful next to me that I tripped and walked into a bus pole.

honestly me every time i see my gf, like holy shit, but also once in college i ran across this weird gothy/pseudo-victorian girl and she was so painfully pretty that i died

Once I met a girl so pretty I lost all ability to differentiate between languages and gave her my coffee order in three different ones mashed together. (She laughed at me, but that’s okay, because she married me two years later.)

This thread ended in the best possible way. I hope y'all stay pure

(we-are-art.com)

when the cashier gives u back ur change and ur putting it away but u cant do it fast enough and suddenly theyre holding out ur shopping bag and u have no hands and the coins are dropping to the ground and the bag goes up in flames and the cashier is crying and ur crying and ur wallet is screaming and ur descending into hell

♥My Current Favorite Tops♥

1.(x) by: Trillyke

2.(x) by:  serenity-cc

3.(x) by:  Screaming_Mustard

4.(x) by:   toksik

5.(x) by:  toksik

6.(x) by:  toksik

♥ ♥ ♥

Top Ten CC Favs

Makeup

Not in any order

1. Blush

2. Eyeshadow

3. More Eyeshadow

4. Lipstick

5. More Lipsticks

6. Even More Eyeshadow

7. Eyelashes

8. Lots of Eyeshadow

9. Eyeliner

10. Lot and lots of eyeshadow

ohmygosh

I JUST REALIZED THAT THE PLURAL OF BEEF IS BEEVES

LOOK AT THIS

WAS I THE ONLY ONE WHO DIDNT KNOW ABOUT BEEVES

i just told my roommate this and he just got up and left the apartment, and didn’t come back right away so i went outside and he was just

that is the face of a broken man

this is by far the best comment anyone has added to my text post

I guess he had some beeves with this new information

If Word crashes or shuts down and your document didn't save, search ".asd" in the file Explorer under "This/My PC". It should be there.