My favourite Da Vinky twins trans ally moments:

Usually I hate when people online base their whole character around being dorky on purpose, but Da Vinky twins are the only exception to this rule. They're self aware and just genuinely funny, my favourite of them is this video when they're like "People often ask us if we're only acting like this on camera, so today we'll find out. For that we only need to turn off the camera" and then they turn the camera off and the video ends. This is the funniest shit and I adore this joke so much.

I just know this one gonna bang (smelling it)

Is your dad Ron Swanson? (via blooper2112)

this is the money axe of good fortune, reblog to receive money and axes

I found myself having, not exactly an argument recently, but a highly opinionated conversation with someone who did not believe my assertion that once upon a time there were official Hello Kitty vibrators. With the aid of the Wayback Machine, I found this article, and thought the world at large might enjoy it too...

#reading this post treating it like every other tumblr post#hello kitty vibrators yes of course that is the kind of thing you read about on tumblr#no surprises there#until i realise who op is#and have to laugh and laugh and laugh#i love neil gaiman#a true tumblrina if ever there was one

Tree coming out of an abandoned chimney (source)

Fortified combat tree

Joint Dwarf/Elf fortress.

Legolas and Gimli’s townhome in Valinor

@marlynnofmany Okay, so what if we crossed this post with this one?

0.0 Using a wizard’s tower to channel magic like a staff? That’s just crazy enough to work*!

*blow multiple holes in reality

Him: “Wizard staffs channel more magic than wands, right? More wood, more magic.”

Me: “Okay, makes sense.”

Him: “So then you could get magical seige cannons—”

Me: *already googling*  “Yesssss.”

…

So anyways I would like a story about these wizards, please and thank you:

P.S: shoulder-mounted rocket launcher pew pew

Somebody write the thing.  Do I have to write the thing? 

C’monnnn wizards with enough strength to rip a tree out of the ground and blast their enemies in the face; what’s not to love?

Ok but consider: the General Sherman redwood tree

“I cast atomize everything in every direction”

Redwood trees are banned by the Wizards’ Geneva Convention.  That would blow a hole into the next world, and get people from there mad at you. 

Y'know, that would make a good beginning to a story. Somebody’s mage war ends with a magical nuke, and people from one or more neighboring realities suddenly have windows into each other’s backyards.

every now and again i think "surely it can't be that weird for a child to sort things, it has to be something every child does"

and then i remember that my mother finally had an allistic child after two autistic kids in a row and was baffled and annoyed to find out she couldn't just keep him occupied by sticking a box of unsorted buttons in front of him and let him sort them

like my mother thought, exactly like i do sometimes, that surely every child must just sit there and sort whatever is in front of them but no, actually, most of my non autistic peers didn't do this and thought i was a fucking weirdo for doing it

anyway i still struggle to believe that most people don't find deep enjoyment in sitting there and arbitrarily sorting shit. what do they even do if they need to do data entry? do they just suffer? weirdos.

Image from MORE Issue Number 8 - Toys

what your scrotum is gonna look like after that

His nuts are shriveled and frostbitten and all you heathens can think about is his sweet voluptuous ass? Disgusting...

how i feel when someone reblogs my stuff with a really really nice tag

The cultural impact Arrested Development has had is insane especially because it feels like a lot of people dont realize they are citing that show

"Dead dove: do not eat"

"Good for her"

"How much could a banana cost?"

The gif of the excavation site skull being smashed

"I love all of my children equally- I dont care for Gob"

"We finish each others sandwiches"

"Get me a vodka-" its the morning- "and a piece of toast"

"Why are you squeezing me with your body"

Do people know? Do they know they are quoting Lucille Bluth???

Deer, except they’re predators

@shittycryptids That’s a terrible one, especially because they’re real.

Switchblade Deer

WHAT

it looks so fake i love it

jokes aside i think it’s amazing and heartwarming to see like 4chan incel bros perform the miracle of crawling out of that hole and becoming real human beings and chronicling their journey to realizing that they can be well adjusted happy normal dudes

Where’s the post about the guy who turned his life around bc of his shrimp? Bc that’s very relevant here

This guy. This makes me so happy

YOU SHAVED THEM?!?

I am going to eat this entire candy cane.

You’re going to get a cavity

good

30 min later, not much progress. 

Its been an hour. I bit my tongue, my teeth hurts and I’m almost halfway done…

One hour and half done. That’s impressive That takes real skill and perseverance

an hour and a half. my grandma called and I didnt take it so i could eat this… i hate everything

i’d rather be eating anything but this

two and a half hours…. my mouth will never taste normal again

3 fucking hours

I’ve tasted Satans asshole and it tastes like 3 hours of mint. 

Please. Please don’t bring this back.

‘Tis the season.

It’s November

TO BE JOLLY

I’ve tasted Satan’s asshole and it tasted like 3 hours of mint

Y’all can’t forget this for like one year can you

fuck no

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

אני אוהב אותך!!!

Me, sobbing: fucfink sup erbb,

guess, what @rovermcfly​?

https://at.tumblr.com/spyld/speak-your-language-day/czjxygdt8j1k

heres a reminder to go masturbate instead of engaging in that incendiary argument going on on your social media feed

source