UAGHHHHH I DRANK BONE HURTING JUICE

Additionally,

Vegans of tumblr, listen up. Harvesting agave in the quantities required so you dont have to eat honey is killing mexican long-nosed bats. They feed off the nectar and pollinate the plants. They need the agave. You want to help the environment? Go back to honey. Your liver and thyroid will thank you, as well. Agave is 90% fructose, which can cause a host of issues. Bye.

So let me get this straight ,vegans should stop eating the food of the Mexcian long-nosed bats, because the bats need it, and instead vegans should instead eat honey, the food of bees, that their larvae need, even though the bee populations are facing ecological issues as it stands.  10/10 post, dude.

Did you forget the whole part where only excess is taken and all their needs are met and then some orrrr?

Like, did you read it orrrrr?

Anyway, BUY HONEY SAVE BEES

It is a 10/10 post. Because OP is right.

Bees do not suffer when beekeepers take their honey, because experienced beekeepers do not take all of their honey, in fact, they leave plenty of honey left for the bees to consume over the winter. If we do not collect their honey, 1 of two things will happen.

1. they will leave for a bigger home. Which at first seems fine until you remember that bees are dying very quickly out in the wild.

or

2. They will start using the areas that they reserve for their young as a place to make more honey. This is bad because if no more young are being produced, then the hive will start to die out because no new workers are coming into the world, and the average live only 150 days, so it would also mean the loss of more bees.

So yeah, eating honey isn’t inhumane at all. In fact, you’re helping the bees by eating what they produce and giving money to the bee keepers who are the ones making sure that the hive will keep being healthy.

LOUDER FOR THE VEGANS IN THE BACK: use honey, not agave! Bees need your support and other animals need agave! Using honey means more bees!!

Other animal products that are absolutely fine to use because they produce it in excess:

- Wool. Sheep need to be sheared or their wool will get excessively large, matted and gross. Its legit just a haircut. Calm down and use wool instead of whatever fake acrylic microplastic shit they have in stores now. Wool is super warm, insulating, and guess what! It grows back! Its a renewable resource and all the sheep want in return is some good pasture and protection from predators.

- Eggs. I’m not talking about storebought eggs. Go to your local farmer’s market. Find someone around with chickens/ducks. These birds produce eggs literally every day and will not stop unless they are molting, brooding, or kept in the dark for most of the day. Like I am not joking when I say you can very easily find someone with poultry and they will beg you to take some eggs. Theres so many. Please. Take some duck eggs. I dont want them. I had 8 laying ducks last year. Thats 8 eggs every day. Thats 2 dozen eggs every THREE DAYS. Thats SO MANY EGGS PLEASE TAKE SOME EGGS

Reducing animal cruelty does not mean abolish the use of animal products. Go eat honey. Go use wool. Go find a friend with birds and eat eggs, or get your own. Just because it comes from an animal does not make it cruel.

Tumblr I am BEGGING you to let me reblog this ad

Item: the Universal Shoe; can transmute to any kind of non magical footwear once per hour, but for every transmutation roll d6 and on a 1 you get this.

this must have been what the court at versailles was like

unparalleled chaos

Song list

I have something extremely important to say

My aunt’s dog has a paw print on his paw

The small little gasp I let out is heard universally when you view this picture

They really awake his bloodlust, uh

The virgin pit bull vs the chad Great Pyrenees

Listen. I grew up with these dogs. Im a cat person, no shame, but Great Pyrenees are hands down my most trusted domestic animal and are hardcore as fuck.

When I was a kid, between six and fifteen, one of our Pyrenees would escort me, off-leash, between my grandmother's house and mine. I'd just have to call him, and he'd show up and walk me there, placing himself between me and anything he considered threatening- Cranky farm animals, holes in the ground, bodies of water, etc.

That same dog found a (unfortunately deceased) lamb my grandfather had buried a few hours earlier, dug it up, realized it was cold and not breathing, and carefully carried it to our barn, where he covered it neck-deep in straw and tried to cuddle it warm again to bring it back to life.

One of our older dogs, at about sixteen years old (keep in mind, this breed tends to average out at about 12 years max) had arthritis in his hips, a bad back, and a respiratory issue, was fucking ancient and essentially palliative, but would still go stock-still out of nowhere, let out one subtle "boof", and then set out at an awkward-yet-speedy bunny-hop sprint at the slightest whiff of a cougar, bear, or wolf. Like, grampa would jump fences. Gentle geriatric giant would kick up to 7k to protect the family, never mind the three other, much younger fogs already on the case.

When I was a baby, like a literal in-diapers infant, he would lay on the ground and let me dress him up as a wizard and crawl all over him with zero complaint.

His nephew was 100lbs and often alarmed visitors who mistook him for a bear, yet never so much as bumped into a person in his life and feared only string and kittens.

A Great Pyrenees is not only the best dog, but I would argue that it is also the MOST dog

This dog is the inspiration for John Wick.

These dogs are typically bred and raised not to herd animals but to protect them. They are raised amongst the flock, imprinting on them.

Those coyotes thought they were dealing with a dog with a job. What they found was a dog with a family.

And they threatened that dog’s family.

Down a Rabbit Hole I Went

I screwed up. I didn't think that using an ancient language on a piece of tumblr merch was necessary but I forgot what site I was on :) . This is tumblr, of course it has to be in linguistically accurate cuneiform. I went and hired an expert on Ancient Semitic Languages and Cultures. There aren't as many as you'd think that are willing to translate text for an internet gag so I'm so happy I found Paul.

Notes on the translation from the translator:

I used the ventive suffix on the imperative "give (rib+am)" which is a special feature of Akkadian that indicates the motion of direction. It makes it a little bit more authentic. The longer version actually includes the words "to me (ana iasim)", but a typical Akkadian speaker probably wouldn't have needed to say that.

Also, for the word "money" I used the Sumerian (KUG.BABBAR) instead of spelling out the Akkadian, because that was a common feature in Akkadian scribal writing. For the font I was happily surprised that Google has a Cuneiform font, so not only is it correct but it looks pretty neat too. Right now you can buy both versions in the shop but cuneiform version won't ship for a week or so as I have to order new stock with the new design.

(guy experiencing the consequences of his actions) yeah i don’t know why these things keep happening to me i must be cursed or something

(guy who is cursed) yeah I'm sure all of these things that are happening to me are just the consequences of my actions

there are literally worse things than being in a saw trap like for instance openly expressing that you have wants and needs and are a real person

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underwater temple, underwater monk

underwater rhymes and underwater funk

he sleeps in the sea in an underwater bunk

with mirrors all around him hes an underwater hunk

he’s got underwater junk in his underwater trunk

on the basketball court he does a nautical dunk

he’s got a little stash of underwater skunk

underwater temple, underwater monk

Sick rhymes

HOLY COW! SOMEONE MADE THIS A SONG!!👍✨

this song slaps harder than anything i’ve heard in the past decade