Curitiba (12/10) | Cinema
thoughts on shower conditioner as a lube substitute? i know it's very likely Not Good for the vulva but i'm reading a cis m/m fic with it and like. hmm
well, I looked up what's in conditioner, and the answer is that it's mostly water, several things that encourage your hair to hold on to existing oils, several things to smooth and add moisture to hair, and an emulsifier or two. plus fragrance. so honestly, as long as the fragrance isn't, like, made of something irritating to sensitive skins, it might not actually be the worst?
this is NOT me telling you to use it in real life as lube, but I'm also not not telling you to use it. or like, if you're already using it and you've been freaking out the whole time that it's causing damage, you're probably fine.
and it's definitely good by fic standards.
i've read this in fanfiction as well, and i finally got curious and went on a google spree! this site seems to break things down well, and includes a little section on anal sex. the verdict seems to be "conditioner probably won't be AS BAD in the anus as it would be in the vulva, but 'not as bad' could still be bad. best not."
and it makes sense. conditioner is not intended for internal use. and while conditioner might not irritate the skin outside the anus, the tissue inside your rectum and anal canal is not skin-- it's one of your mucus membranes! so it will interact with substances in ways you might not realize, and your intestines are super-duper good at absorbing what's inside them.
so like, conditioner might be fine on external skin, but it...doesn't seem like it would be a safe thing to potentially absorb.
also this person on reddit was the only one i found (granted, i didn't look super hard) who actually stated their personal experience using hair conditioner as lube inside their butt. to summarize: no apparent ill effects at first, burned like hell when using the toilet later. that's just one anecdote, of course, but hey-- if one of the characters experiences some unfortunate ramifications after the sex wraps up, you'll know they aren't shitting you about the potential consequences! ;D
#fic sex#lube#this IS me saying not to use conditioner in real life as lube#nobody asked me but Here We Are#find something else!!! doesn't have to be lube#just make sure it is either intended to be used internally or intended for human consumption#pause the sex and have one character run dripping and naked to the kitchen for some olive oil#then come back into the shower shivering but triumphant#maybe someone can slip in a puddle later#it adds potential flavor to the fic!!!
this person has more information than I do, thank you!
final answer: don't use conditioner for anal sex, it could go poorly.
2023 GRAMMY NOMINATIONS ✨
- Best Pop Solo Performance for ‘As It Was’
- Best Pop Vocal Album for ‘Harry’s House’
- Song of the Year for ‘As It Was’
- Best Music Video for ‘As It Was’
- Record of the Year for ‘As It Was’
- Album of the Year for ‘Harry’s House’
- Best Engineered Album, Non-Classical for ‘Harry’s House’
New York City (9/21) | Looking at his MSG banner

me rollerblading into my therapist’s office this week with sunglasses and a piña colada: maurice, you’re not gonna fucking believe this,
harry: does a whole photo shoot wearing blue and probably making it the theme color for hs2
louis: wait I wanna play too
his eyes???
Liam at the HUGO X Liam Payne event at the Aventura Mall in Miami - 27/7





