Caught In a Love Song So Loud

I don't want Louis to be touched by strangers

I know, Harry. You’re going to have to have a word with him about it.

Hi, I want to work through something because I want to be able to enjoy my time in this fandom and support Harry and Louis as they are now. Unfortunately, I can't help but be incredibly disappointed in the decisions that HL have made. Let me preface this by saying that I am aware of how entitled and selfish I sound but emotions sometimes override logic.

I had really big and unfair expectations of Harry and Louis. I honestly thought after One Direction they would come out and start their solo careers on an authentic and free foundation. They had the potential to be such an inspiring and important power couple in the industry and society in general. I pictured them being an amazing source of representation, attending charity events and talking about important issues. All the while staying intensely private. It's this wasted potential that I really struggle to accept. I also have a sneaking suspicion that the Harry and Louis from 2014/15 would be a bit disappointed in where they are now, not on the career front but having a fake son and still kissing supermodels.

As someone who doesn't place a great deal of value on things like career and ambition it's disappointed me how they've chosen that above all else. I believe there are more important things in life. Again, I know how all this sounds but no matter how hard I try I can't help how I feel. But I want to change because I want to be able to enjoy the people that HL are now. It's hard because I'm not here for their careers I'm here for them purely as people and as a couple.

Hi! So first, I’d like to say that I really appreciate the openness of your tone, even though we have quite different opinions. I’m going to strive to match that openness in my response, and if I fall short, I apologize in advance. It’s not at all my intention to come off as rude or aggressive, I just want to challenge your way of thinking about activism, authenticity, and the roles their careers play in that.

You say you’re not here for their careers. You’re here for them as people and as a couple. You don’t seem to see those two are directly interlinked.

The only reason we have access to them as people/as a couple, is because they both chose to continue their careers in the public. They both could have easily chosen to take a step back and work in the background (music production, management, etc.), which would mean no drama. Maybe would’ve meant a bigger chance for them to come out publicly.

But that would have also meant no content. No music, no pap pics, no articles (barring maybe one or two about a charity event, if what you imagined came true). That means no safe spaces at their concerts. No flag waving. No speeches about acceptance, and I need you, you need me, about your body, your choice, about helping people come out… No lyrics about all this time, and we could be lucky again, and you can throw a party full of everyone you know, and we’ll be alright…

No input, no… personality. So who would you be loving? Who would you be here for, exactly? Who would you be supporting? A snapshot of who they were as people/as a couple? The idealized fantasy of a power couple? The people you remember they were seven years ago?

Related to that, I understand that explicit activism is important to you. I understand that you understand that you’ve placed a lot of expectations on them that aren’t fair. Why you’ve done that could be for many reasons — maybe that’s how you personally choose to connect with the queer community, maybe you feel like if you had their platform and their resources, that’s what you would do, I don’t know.

But everything you’ve mentioned (“…come out and start their solo careers on an authentic and free foundation. They had the potential to be such an inspiring and important power couple in the industry and society in general. I pictured them being an amazing source of representation, attending charity events and talking about important issues…”)

Well… who’s to say this isn’t “authentically” who they are (while still working to preserve other things that are important to them, like the privacy of their relationship and their opportunity to make art), even without being “out” and “out together”? Who’s to say they aren’t currently an amazing source of representation? Who’s to say they aren’t talking about important issues?

Because, to me, they are. They may not be doing it at the helm of a pride parade in a rainbow mankini making out in front of news cameras.

But isn’t it equally as important to hold spaces for queer people to just gather and experience joy? Isn’t it equally as important to be verbal about challenging adversity and coming out on top? Isn’t it equally as important to make coming out to one’s parents a communal, celebratory fantastic memory instead of something that’s solitary and filled with fear? Isn’t equally important to prop up young musicians and show them someone with power will be kind, will be supportive, will open doors for them?

There’s value in pragmatic, maybe even implicit, forms of “activism”, too. There’s value in championing life and love and kindness and joy and upholding it for the people who can’t uphold it for themselves. (And it’s especially meaningful coming from two people in such a historically abusive, conservative, homophobic industry.) There’s value in using your time in the spotlight for the benefit of your actual fans.

TL;DR I guess what I’m saying is, we all seem to uphold this gold standard of activism to the letter, and assume that anything less than that isn’t activism, isn’t authenticity, isn’t representation. But having such a rigid definition of “doing good” for a community negates the constant and consistent representation and good they’ve both fought to be able to do.

You said a lot more in your anon, but this is really all I have energy to answer. If it doesn’t change your mind, that’s okay. If it’s still not enough for you, that’s okay too. It doesn’t, and won’t ever, negate everything they’ve done for me and for others.

Maybe one day you’ll find your way back, or maybe you’ll find a couple that represents you the way you need to be represented. Until then, all the best. 🤍