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a forest

@larapaulussen / larapaulussen.tumblr.com

Hi there! I'm Lara. I'm an illustrator from Germany. I like botanic gardens, tea and books. contact: lara.paulussen@gmx.net all the infos on my website: https://larapaulussen.de This tumblr has become more of a playground for my more personal stuff, more active on instagram tho: @larapaulussen
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#trying to get into autumn mood#spoiler im not#autumn is ok#but i hate winter#still havent decided where to move to avoid it#gif#illustration#im not where I want to be in life#absolutely everything feels so wrong#even my drawings#but whenever I try to change things they just don’t ever change#I’m not allowed to be happy#I’m not allowed to ever be in a relationship#I’m not allowed to ever spend my birthday not alone#I’m not allowed to live in a place I want to live#I’m not allowed to ever go to the beach in summer#NOTHING ever changes#NOTHING#and I can try and try and try and try and try and try#it does change NOTHING
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larapaulussen

Thanks to everyone who preordered a calendar! 📆 I shipped them all last week and they should arrive this week (except for those who ordered a T-Shirt and a calendar, those I will send out as soon as I get the T-Shirts from the printer, which will be somewhen this week). I ordered some calendars extra, so theres still a chance to get some if you missed the preorder period (sadly my post wasn't shown to many people...), just check out this link: https://larapaulussen.bigcartel.com/product/2024-calendar 💌

#occasional reblog#i have like 4 calendars left#and would be happy#for them to find a home#2024 calendar#wall calendar#thx to everyone who bought one#illustration
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larapaulussen
#reblog#alone#every single second of my life#I don’t want to have to do everything in my life always alone#I am so sick and tired of this loneliness that never ends#of having to bury all my dreams#I will never travel to the places I want to#I will never have children#I will never be not alone#all my friends have boyfriends who travel with them who get them birthday gifts who give them flowers#and I ALWAYS just meet guys who act like meeting me for a coffee is already too much too ask for#like spending time with me is something horrible#but still don’t just fck off then but want to keep me as an option#who don’t care if they’re destroying my whole life and future for stealing the last years for me where it would be possible to get children#they literally never even considered my feelings and my life#I will never understand how people can be such empathyless psychopaths
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larapaulussen
#manifesting this#I want to finally meet someone who actually wants to be with me#who talks with me#who WANTS to spend time with me#who WANTS a relationship with me#I just want to experience once in my life how it feels to not be completely alone#how it feels to have someone to talk to who actually listens#how it feels to ask for a date and not hear i don’t have time#how it feels to get something for my birthday#all my friends have someone like that#why am I not allowed to experience this