Old Orlo: we talk

you know what pisses me off? The fact that to this day I suck at solving mysteries even though my childhood was basically shaped by watching complex mystery cases being solved and unraveled before my very eyes.

“Oh what, you spent some time watching Harry Potter and Dora the explorer and you think you’re an expert?”

No you fool! As as matter of fact, for most evenings my parents were in control of the remote, and, after a hard day of work the whole family inevitably watched the classics:

Yeah, my childhood was spent watching amazing murder mysteries and still if you were to give me a riddle or a treasure hunt I would never solve either of them.

that scene at the end of hercule poirot’s christmas where it looked like japp was going to say exactly this

the scene in question, for reference:

…

“You must meet Hercule Poirot! Well, he’s only the greatest detective alive!”

I love Poirot and Hastings’ dynamic, and I think it far superior to Holmes and Watson’s, because it basically hinges on Poirot being like, “this is my dear friend Hastings who unfortunately is English, but we should not hold it against him”

ok this sent me

#re-abuse-your-parents

Find a woman that looks at you the way Nancy Birch looks at Margaret Wells over this corpse…

what’s a throuple gotta do to get some privacy in this cunny house?

i think it’s so funny when men sit and like their pants rise up and you can see their ankles like even when they have socks on i see that and i’m like oh someone’s feeling a bit like a vivacious slut hmm ?

Jesus fucking christ disney

Just remember: with so many new, inclusive live action or animated movies that make it into pop culture, we should be praising the ones behind the movie who fought like hell for that inclusiveness — not the companies like Disney that take credit for it

👆👆👆👆👆👆👆👆👆👆👆👆👆👆👆👆👆👆👆👆👆👆👆👆👆👆👆👆

Me in 2022 when the pandemic hasn’t ended yet because people don’t know how to act right and I’ve been holed up in my house for three years acquiring a new flavor of crazy, going to open the door for the guy in the hazmat suit that’s come to deliver my groceries

ohh you misheard! im a paranormal INSTIGATOR. im here to CAUSE hauntings lol

For anyone who is unclear on the matter or needs to hear this: fictional characters, while awesome, are literally not real. They do not exist and therefore are not worth sending death threats and suicide bait to real people over. There are 0 exceptions to this rule.

“Put him on his knees give him something to believe in” has the exact same energy and depth of meaning as anything Hozier puts out on the regular but since it’s sung by Megan Thee Stallion no one takes it seriously. In this essay I will-

anyway *breathes poison mist at you*

*doesnt notice bc im properly following CDC guidelines for face masks and public gatherings*

i know the memes and the jokes have all come and gone but what was UP with this guy

fuck everyone on this post besides whoever said this guy was finn's ex

"feminine urge" is just girly things 2.0

This site defies all logic.

A network or service that fails to make enough money for its shareholders generally gets closed down within 2-3 years.

Tumblr lost Yahoo a billion dollars and it’s still around.

That is actually quite [DATA EXPUNGED]

How the fuck are y’all going to say you like milfs then de-age older women characters to look younger than what they originally look?

Move out the way for the real milf lovers