Confused And ✨Tired✨

He went ghost

Bruce before a gala: Alright, rules for tonight. No arson, no one gets married. No pulling the fire alarm. No punching people, faking a medical issue to get out of it, or doing the Gangnam Style dance. No ER trips, no graffiti, and no spiking the punch. No killing anyone, setting anything on fire, or playing Jenga with the furniture. No putting dish soap in the indoor fountain. And NO confetti poppers.

Jason:….. it’s like you just handed us a bingo card of things to do, B.

Tim: I hadn’t even considered the medical thing.

Damian: *silently hides the dish soap behind his back*

Dick: Ah, my entire childhood right there.

Bruce: That reminds me. Also no swinging on the chandeliers.

Stephanie: Well Dick ruined all our fun before we even got here didn’t he. Rude.

Dick: I’m a good example.

Bruce: You are a very not good example. Let’s go.

Alfred: Ah, they grow up so fast. *hands Damian more soap as he walks past*

Duke: I’m scared of all of you and also confused how so many of you made it to adulthood.

Bruce: I can’t figure it out either. The closest I can figure is sheer dumb luck and Alfred.

The target I work at has a skeleton that’s been our mascot. His name is Mr. Bones. We pose him every night.

Then we gave him a jacket and let him fold clothes

And then we let him get a nice drink at Starbucks

Sometimes work can be too hard on him

Everyone, especially our guests, love Mr. Bones and take pictures with/of him. I will keep everyone updated on his adventures

We put him in our Director’s office to scare him when he comes in the morning. For now, Mr. Bones is running the store.

Mr. Bones is catching up on his reading today!

Today Mr. Bones got a new look and some nice flowers as he greets guests to the fitting rooms!

Mr. Bones spotted having a party in the break room!

In his weird hiatus, Mr. Bones became a pilot and found a pumpkin!

Someone partied too hard last night

He got a job at Starbucks!!

Mr. Bones had his last day at work in the office! Thanks to everyone for following his journey!

Good news! Even after all this time, Mr. Bones still has a job!

Bad news everyone. 2020 took another Angel. Mr. Bones has been fired and isn’t allowed back in 2020, per my boss. It was fun last year and I’m sure he would have wanted to come back for more fun this year, but I guess Target will have to continue without our bone friend.

NEVERMIND HES BACK BAYBEEEE

We VIBING!!!!

So just for an update for everyone! Mr. Bones has a rough end to 2020. Unfortunately, due to an accident, he is no longer with us.

HOWEVER, He will still live on with his triplet children, Mini Bones, Bones Jr, and Bonsette!

After 2 years of BEGGING our bosses to bring him back…. I have exciting news: Mr. Bones is BACK and better than ever and thriving! You CANNOT kill the king!

I put my entire being into that background

Kimcom to Kim Dokja:

a real laugh from a dear friend

normal high schooler behavior

more :)

yeah.

once a little prince, always a little prince!

Jason “I have killed multiple people but my dad still thinks I’m a cutie pie” Todd: HEY STEP OFF YOU LITTLE-

Damian “I have killed multiple people but my dad still thinks I’m a cutie pie” Wayne: MAKE ME! I WILL STAB YOU AGAIN!

Bruce: *takes a photo of both of them careening into battle* another photo for the family scrapbook! 🥰

Duke Thomas sitting at the breakfast table doing crossword puzzles. Damian sitting next to him, sipping tea and staring out of a kitchen window to watch the birds on the feeder. Bruce staring at them from the doorway in his fluffy slippers and robe realizing that they’re all 80 year old men inside.

Alfred taking everyone to water aerobics.

Duke becoming best friends with every old lady there.

Damian getting so into it because *20 minute rant on joint health and efficiency*.

Bruce doing the absolute least required to technically be participating. Gentle little swings of the water weights while he goes to his mind palace.

Alfred leaves with 5 phone numbers.

Duke Thomas sitting at the breakfast table doing crossword puzzles. Damian sitting next to him, sipping tea and staring out of a kitchen window to watch the birds on the feeder. Bruce staring at them from the doorway in his fluffy slippers and robe realizing that they’re all 80 year old men inside.

Biggest pet peeve in fics that write a remix of Jason and Bruce meeting is when they make Jason super timid and afraid of Bruce. Girl Jason did not hesitate for a second with that tire iron:

Biggest pet peeve in fics that write a remix of Jason and Bruce meeting is when they make Jason super timid and afraid of Bruce. Girl Jason did not hesitate for a second with that tire iron:

My favorite part is Jason runs back home after he he hits Batman and immediately lights a cigarette, like he needs to chill out after a rough day of work. Absolutely iconic.

Then, when Batman shows up after following him home, Jason immediately goes back to shit talking. Anyone who has Jason nervous and saying sorry when he’s caught in their fics is fucking tripping.

BONUS! His actual first reaction when caught.

Jason: [holding tire iron, caught creeping up to the batmobile missing 3 tires, Batman staring him down] whoops 😬

reverse robins AU damian 2am thoughts

compared to canon he’s a little younger, a little more wide-eyed, and a little less intimidated, without any siblings to make him doubt his place in the family. bruce is a little naive and doesn’t have back problems yet. mostly i just want bruce and damian to be adorably in-sync by the time the rest of the little bats come flying in.

DPxDC Prompt where, for whatever reason, Danny enters Wayne Manor. Maybe for a gala, maybe while actually following a bat back to the cave. In any case-- how he enters the manor isn't quite as important as how he leaves it.

There are protections and wards around the Batcave and Wayne Manor, and, due to his halfa status, Danny can interact… strangely with these wards. There is one ward in particular that allows him to enter the premises with no issues, but, well-- He hasn't been able to leave now. And it's kind of a problem.

Danny has now been squatting in the manor for several days, trying to think up a plan.

So here's the thing. It was an accident. Obviously. No matter how much Sam laughed at him, he needed to remind her that it was an accident.

Danny hadn't noticed the wards cleverly hidden in the intricate carvings around the entryways to Wayne manor, but then, neither had Sam and the occult was kinda Her Thing, so really, Danny was blameless here and Tucker could stop laughing at them over the phone at any time.

It had been 47 hours since Danny had realized he'd gotten stuck there, and he realized that he had not seen Tim sleep once.

Now, he wasn't positive, but the butler had left out a plate of cookies with a card, and it felt like he was being told to get Tim to sleep.

The butler was terrifying, so Danny felt obliged to do so.

And he had an idea.

--

Tim took another sip of his coffee as he entered the living room.

And he stopped.

What the...?

Floating in the middle of the living room was a boy. His hair was white, his eyes were green, and lifeless.

And then, his head fell to the side, further than humanly possible.

Tim squeezed his eyes shut.

It's just a hallucination.

He opened his eyes again, and the same boy was cheerfully sipping some tea from a tea cup, surrounded by floating stuffed animals.

Tim shook his head.

"I thought I wouldn't hit the hallucination stage for two more hours..." he muttered, and he stared at his coffee. "...I should just go to sleep..."

--

Danny was very proud of himself for getting Tim to sleep (he'd followed him invisibly to make sure), and if he hadn't been so busy celebrating, he might have notice earlier-

"Hey, Danny, whatcha doing?"

Danny spun around.

"Ellie?" he asked.

His little sister clone was floating next to him.

"Who else?" she asked with a snort.

"Crud..." he muttered. "Ellie, you're now stuck here! The house is warded!"

"What...?" she frowned, and flew to the front door.

The slammed into the barier.

"N-no..." she muttered, already starting to hyperventalate.

"Ellie! Calm down!" he said, and he grabbed her, flying both of them up to the chandelier. "Ellie, Ellie, listen to me."

He grabbed her hands.

"Ellie, shh... shh... it's okay," he said.

She looked up at him, and buried her head into his shoulder, silently sobbing.

He rubbed circle on her back.

Her obsession was freedom and travel, but now she was stuck.

As her sobs slowed down, he tried to come up with a way to distract her.

"Hey, Ellie," he said, "Do you wanna help me haunt the Waynes?"

Ellie wiped tears as she pulled away, but she grinned.

--

Steph didn't know how she was going to prove it, but the manor was haunted.

DPxDC Prompt where, for whatever reason, Danny enters Wayne Manor. Maybe for a gala, maybe while actually following a bat back to the cave. In any case-- how he enters the manor isn't quite as important as how he leaves it.

There are protections and wards around the Batcave and Wayne Manor, and, due to his halfa status, Danny can interact… strangely with these wards. There is one ward in particular that allows him to enter the premises with no issues, but, well-- He hasn't been able to leave now. And it's kind of a problem.

Danny has now been squatting in the manor for several days, trying to think up a plan.

Turns out "hiding in the attic and hope I don't get caught before figuring things out" isn't much of a plan. More immediate short term goals involving hiding better might have been useful. If he had, then the fact he's currently being chased by the youngest Wayne with a sword and a very big dog might not have been his Sunday. He just needs to get far enough away to disappear. He takes a sharp turn and runs through the nearest door.

or tries to at least

Damian watches as the home invader attempts to run outside only to hit an invisible barrier at full speed. Looks like he knocked himself out too... ouch that's going to bruise.

Damian waved his hand through the air exploring the area the stranger had run into. Nothing. There is nothing there. Damiam moves the arm of the stranger and it strikes the spot Damian just put his hand through.

That's odd

At least it explains why he's still in their house. That and the formal wear. So... Likely NOT an assassination attempt, then. How embarrassing on his part. Oh well, he will just drag this stranger to a nearby couch and fetch his father. Seeing as someone is clearly plotting to frame them for kidnapping.

Soon the whole family is watching Bruce gently nudge the unconscious young man against very clearly solid empty air. They've tried the adjoining rooms. Even a balcony. Same thing. The logs clearly show him ENTER easily enough. Even making small talk, charming a few other guests.

But LEAVING?

The videos clearly capture the bafflement, then panic, when he attempts to leave and can not. Captures his subtle attempts to find a way around whatever is preventing his departure. Even a few panicked phone calls. Another guest is seen speed walking towards his quickly chose hiding location. A Samantha Manson.

Magic user, apparently. Given the light and distortion around her carefully hidden hands. The cursing? Not so hidden. Nor the panic on her face or the fear.

The word "Wards" was made out clearly.

Dick is texting Zatara. Tim is using Bruce's League communicator to consult with Blood. They are going to have to lie their asses off. Luckily? This is OLD. Genuinely an inherited mess and not a Heroics mess.

Time to play "Baffled but amicable, clueless rich folk". Golly! They're SO sorry their house trapped you! Why this reminds them of the time THEY were trapped on that lay-over in the Mediterranean! It was terrible! They'll call someone Right Away!

And Danny obviously doesn't believe a single thing. But? As long as it gets him out of this house, man. Yep. He TOTALLY buys the bit. Wow you're so convincing and he is, like, completely and totally fooled! Uh huh. Great quiche btw, Mr. Pennyworth. No, no, please! Continue to fool him! Just no creepy sex dungeons or cult sacrifices. He wants out.