me every time i spend over $50 on something, no matter how worthy of my money it is: oh god. what have i done. what have i just done. what have i
I think next thursday is gonna be the best day of my entire life tbh
reblog for next thursday to be the best day of your life
100 to 0
IMMA FUCKING KILL YOU
oh wait this is actually pretty good thank you
he attac but then he snac
I like how everybody is paired off haha
I FINALLY FOUND OUT WHY THIS HAPPENS. You see this all the time when there’s a fight or a scrum and suddenly everyone pairs up with a member of the opposite team and they just sort of …hold each other.
Someone on reddit asked about it. And it turns out there’s a logical-ish reason:
all of the other players pair off with their man to prevent anyone else entering into the fight … so it’s a form of self policing.
[…] The players basically want to prevent 2 on 1, etc. fights and by finding a “hugging” partner so there’s no ganging up on one guy, even on accident. They do it because it’s fair. And it’s kind of cute sometimes.
so now we know! it’s fair…and cute.
Aw best part is no ones left out at this dance

#pure
NHL: You need to prevent other player’s from joining in the fight, make sure to hold them back
Hockey players, hugging: Got it.
Dear girls who dress scantily for male attention, spends hours and hours obsessing over their fake nails/make-up/hair extension/boob jobs, are ‘do-nothing bitches’ on Instagram who live for the likes and the compliments,
…You are perfect.
Your likes and dislikes are your own. If you thrive on male attention, I hope they are good to you. If you get validation from strangers on the internet liking your posts, I hope it brings you the greatest happiness there is. If your only talent is looking pretty then I want you to know that your prettiness adds colour to the dull world.
I hope your ‘inflated ego’ inflates and inflates to the point where you truly believe yourself to be a goddess, worthy of only the best and available to only those who love you.
Humans are awesome
I say things like “I’m not interested in sports” I really have to give a caveat to explain I really mean “sportsball”, those mass media team sporting events that lead to white privilege riots and fill the pockets of millionaires and billionaires. Because this? This is incredible, just the athleticism, what bodies can do, female, male, young or adult, differently abled…just awesome.
^^^^
my eyes have been streaming blood since i saw this quote last night
Imagine saying this without a hint of irony. Imagine being that dense and evil.
Imagine putting that person in a guillotine.
Do you ever think about how sperm don’t work right at body temperature and that’s why males have external testicles? Design-wise that is such a huge risk to take. Your most important organ is swinging free outside your body, vulnerable to injury or attack. All because one (1) type of cell, your fucking gametes for christ’s sake, cannot function at the normal body temperature of the organism they belong to. What the fuck. I never want to hear a man try and say females are biologically inferior ever again.
While I’m at it also they have to share one hole that they both pee and have sex out of. That’s fucking gross and unsanitary. Everytime a man cums in you you’re also getting all the pee that was in his urethra enjoy that thought ladies. You know how many holes birds have? One. They pee, poop and have sex all in the same hole it’s called the cloaca. You know how many holes women have? Three. Because we evolved one. Evolution-wise, men fall somewhere between a chicken and a human female. Thanks for coming to my Ted talk.
I need this dog
I need this dog to know I love them
I need to know the name of this dog
vantablack doge
oooOOOOOHHH
So beautiful! 😍
Does Prague know he’s a good boy?
If I didn’t remember actually reading this in an actual Calvin and Hobbes book as a child I’d think it was ironically photoshopped like those comics where Mickey Mouse and Goofy talk about how reality is an illusion but this comic strip was actually just……. already………… like that……………
#this enrages me every time i see it for the simple fact that john mulaney would have been 15 when princess diana died #which begs the question #if he’s lying #does that mean he did it?
i cant believe john mulaney killed princess diana
I’m like reverse whorephobic tbh like I couldn’t care less how many people you fucking but damn sis he ain’t buy you dinner? He won’t pay to get your nails done? Not even a gel mani? Straight polish? He won’t fill up your tank? Wowwwwww that’s so gross how can you deal with that honestly like don’t you ever feel like you’re just giving away your body do you think you’ll ever find someone willing to love you and buy you a pair of shoes knowing how many men you slept with for free? Why do you do it? Cause you have low self esteem? What would your parents say if they knew? Do they know he’s sleeping on your couch and not putting nothing on the light bill? SAD
Please make a post about the story of the RMS Carpathia, because it's something that's almost beyond belief and more people should know about it.
Carpathia received Titanic’s distress signal at 12:20am, April 15th, 1912. She was 58 miles away, a distance that absolutely could not be covered in less than four hours.
(Californian’s exact position at the time is…controversial. She was close enough to have helped. By all accounts she was close enough to see Titanic’s distress rockets. It’s uncertain to this day why her crew did not respond, or how many might not have been lost if she had been there. This is not the place for what-ifs. This is about what was done.)
Carpathia’s Captain Rostron had, yes, rolled out of bed instantly when woken by his radio operator, ordered his ship to Titanic’s aid and confirmed the signal before he was fully dressed. The man had never in his life responded to an emergency call. His goal tonight was to make sure nobody who heard that fact would ever believe it.
All of Carpathia’s lifeboats were swung out ready for deployment. Oil was set up to be poured off the side of the ship in case the sea turned choppy; oil would coat and calm the water near Carpathia if that happened, making it safer for lifeboats to draw up alongside her. He ordered lights to be rigged along the side of the ship so survivors could see it better, and had nets and ladders rigged along her sides ready to be dropped when they arrived, in order to let as many survivors as possible climb aboard at once.
I don’t know if his making provisions for there still being survivors in the water was optimism or not. I think he knew they were never going to get there in time for that. I think he did it anyway because, god, you have to hope.
Carpathia had three dining rooms, which were immediately converted into triage and first aid stations. Each had a doctor assigned to it. Hot soup, coffee, and tea were prepared in bulk in each dining room, and blankets and warm clothes were collected to be ready to hand out. By this time, many of the passengers were awake–prepping a ship for disaster relief isn’t quiet–and all of them stepped up to help, many donating their own clothes and blankets.
And then he did something I tend to refer to as diverting all power from life support.
Here’s the thing about steamships: They run on steam. Shocking, I know; but that steam powers everything on the ship, and right now, Carpathia needed power. So Rostron turned off hot water and central heating, which bled valuable steam power, to everywhere but the dining rooms–which, of course, were being used to make hot drinks and receive survivors. He woke up all the engineers, all the stokers and firemen, diverted all that steam back into the engines, and asked his ship to go as fast as she possibly could. And when she’d done that, he asked her to go faster.
I need you to understand that you simply can’t push a ship very far past its top speed. Pushing that much sheer tonnage through the water becomes harder with each extra knot past the speed it was designed for. Pushing a ship past its rated speed is not only reckless–it’s difficult to maneuver–but it puts an incredible amount of strain on the engines. Ships are not designed to exceed their top speed by even one knot. They can’t do it. It can’t be done.
Carpathia’s absolute do-or-die, the-engines-can’t-take-this-forever top speed was fourteen knots. Dodging icebergs, in the dark and the cold, surrounded by mist, she sustained a speed of almost seventeen and a half.
No one would have asked this of them. It wasn’t expected. They were almost sixty miles away, with icebergs in their path. They had a respondibility to respond; they did not have a responsibility to do the impossible and do it well. No one would have faulted them for taking more time to confirm the severity of the issue. No one would have blamed them for a slow and cautious approach. No one but themselves.
They damn near broke the laws of physics, galloping north headlong into the dark in the desperate hope that if they could shave an hour, half an hour, five minutes off their arrival time, maybe for one more person those five minutes would make the difference. I say: three people had died by the time they were lifted from the lifeboats. For all we know, in another hour it might have been more. I say they made all the difference in the world.
This ship and her crew received a message from a location they could not hope to reach in under four hours. Just barely over three hours later, they arrived at Titanic’s last known coordinates. Half an hour after that, at 4am, they would finally find the first of the lifeboats. it would take until 8:30 in the morning for the last survivor to be brought onboard. Passengers from Carpathia universally gave up their berths, staterooms, and clothing to the survivors, assisting the crew at every turn and sitting with the sobbing rescuees to offer whatever comfort they could.
In total, 705 people of Titanic’s original 2208 were brought onto Carpathia alive. No other ship would find survivors.
At 12:20am April 15th, 1912, there was a miracle on the North Atlantic. And it happened because a group of humans, some of them strangers, many of them only passengers on a small and unimpressive steam liner, looked at each other and decided: I cannot live with myself if I do anything less.
I think the least we can do is remember them for it.
wow okay i’m crying now









