“All I know is that I’ve wasted all these years looking for something, a sort of trophy I’d get only if I really, really did enough to deserve it. But I don’t want it anymore, I want something else now, something warm and sheltering, something I can turn to, regardless of what I do, regardless of who I become. Something that will just be there, always, like tomorrow’s sky. That’s what I want now, and I think it’s what you should want too. But it will be too late soon. We’ll become too set to change. If we don’t take our chance now, another may never come for either of us.” - Kazuo Ishiguro, When We Were Orphans
“i am sorry that someone out there made you distrust love. that they walked into your life and broke apart the most beautiful feeling there is. that now you don’t trust family, don’t trust friendship. that you live waiting for people to abandon you, that you leave early so they don’t leave you.”
—
inskinned
but please don’t give up because not everybody is going to hurt you
(via misjudgments)
Source: misjudgments
“The other day she said to me ‘sometimes I just feel like a gas station’ and I laughed at the statement before she explained ‘people stop by to get what they need, whether it’s sex, laughter, or someone to suffocate the loneliness, until they’re full again and the last thing you ever see is them driving away’ and now I’m wondering if a gas station is all I’ll ever be”
— 02/02/2020
syntheticphilosophy
“The decisive question for man is: Is he related to something infinite or not? That is the telling question of his life. Only if we know that the thing which truly matters is the infinite can we avoid fixing our interests upon futilities, and upon all kinds of goals which are not of real importance. Thus we demand that the world grant us recognition for qualities which we regard as personal possessions: our talent or our beauty. The more a man lays stress on false possessions, and the less sensitivity he has for what is essential, the less satisfying is his life. He feels limited because he has limited aims, and the result is envy and jealousy. If we understand and feel that here in this life we already have a link with the infinite, desires and attitudes change.”
— C.G. Jung
“I can’t stop thinking about touching her. I just want her skin on mine, I want to feel how soft her lips are and I want her hands interlocked with mine. I can’t stop thinking about her head on my chest as I run my fingers through her hair. I can’t stop thinking about being with her. Driving in the car with her in my passenger seat, sitting across from her at dinner, and laying next to her. I just can’t stop thinking about her.”
— @i-viii-mmxiv (via i-viii-mmxiv)
withouut--hesitation-deactivate
one day you’re going to come across somebody and this person isn’t going to be who you expected. they’ll bring you butterflies in the deepest parts of your stomach yet peacefulness in the depths of your mind. you’ll be confused because you won’t understand how someone can make you so nervous yet so calm at the same time. you’ll soon begin to realize that this same person is on your mind in times that you should be focusing on other things. they will make you want more of them and you’ll soon see how contagious their laugh is. their eyes will become embedded in your brain and all you’ll see is their face and all you’ll hear is their voice. you’ll want to know every little detail about them, to the point where you’ll feel obsessive but no matter how much you try to push it away, you’ll just keep coming back for more. some day you’ll meet someone that you didn’t expect, but this person will end up becoming the one person you won’t ever want to live without. without really realizing it, someone is going to be the reason that shows you real, happy love does exist and trust me, it’s a ride you want to be a part of.
Anonymous asked:
What’s the point of taking a low dose if you take it for years and end up looking the same as you would have if you took a standard dose?
There are several reasons:
a. You are not sure if you want the “standard” dose, or how masculine/feminine you want your body to be/look. Taking a low dose lets you start the process, try it out, and take things slower. You can always stop too.
b. Gives your body time to adjust. It also gives your mind time to adjust. Puberty doesn’t happen in a day, or even a year, and the changes can be physically and mentally jarring.
c. Mental or physical health: everyone reacts differently. Some people feel worse on a higher dose (I know I experienced extreme anxiety) while others feel better on a higher dose.
d. Some people are still undisclosed, so with slower onset of changes this starts your physical transition while buying you time for social transition.
e. Until relatively recently, there had been few studies on what the “standard” dose should even be, so this was truly an arbitrary number. Now many doctors agree that the touted “200mg/mL x 2weeks” for T is too high for a lot of people.
Even though I’ve been on a low dose for 8 years, I doubt I’ve reached the “maximum” amount of changes. That is, if I took a higher dose, my voice would probably continue to drop, and I would see a significant increase in hair, etc. I’m in the “middle” zone and that’s where I like it.
So why do I keep taking hormones if I’m not seeing changes? Well, I think my body is changing, just very very slowly - too slow to notice day to day, yet noticeable over the years. And staying at a low dose continues giving my body some of the non-permanent effects of T, such as body-fat distribution or muscle mass, even if I experience these in a lower intensity than at a higher dose.
The best thing you can do is forget the “standard” and find your own dose - one that works for you physically, mentally, and emotionally.
“Find someone who loves you well. Someone who never belittles you. Even in the heat of an argument. Someone who is gentle with you, but does not treat you like you are fragile. Someone who knows what you are capable of, and celebrates those pieces of you. Not someone who is intimidated by your strength. Someone who doesn’t make you feel guilty for being flawed. It is not love’s job to punish you. And remember the person you love is just as broken as you are when they fall short. No one is perfect – do not hold them to this standard. Find someone who is patient, forgiving, and apologetic. Someone who practices forgiveness freely and often. Love someone who is humble, kind, and empathetic. Not only with you, but with a beggar on the street, or a stranger in the supermarket. Common courtesy is important. Compassion is important. Kindness is important”
— Vitor Hugo Mota
Source: permeate
You told me you were the only one who could love me, make me feel safe and that you wouldn't leave but here I am alone.
