Frick Heck Carp

Weapon and his Meister.♥️💚

you came back wrong and i am racked with guilt because i cannot bear to see you like this and i should have let you rest. i loved you so much that i defied death itself but i do not think either of us are happy

this is what microwaving leftover pizza feels like

stop it i was trying to be gothic

(x)

@weeniepolice He earned it

did i tell u guys i got into an argument on twitter bc i said foxes are dogs and someone tried to bring up their actual fuckin. classification or whatever and i just said “foxes are dogs cause they are fluffye” and they kept arguing with me. the entire time i was like “you will not survive the immigration to tumblr you are lucky we are not there right now”

This is especially funny because they aren’t even right. Foxes *ARE* dogs.

No they aren’t.

yes they are. because they are fluffye.

OK yes they are.

Dog

Dog

Different family, but same order as @pictures-of-dogs

No, they are the same family. They are the same kingdom, phylum, order and family. They separate at the genus.

They’re a dog.

yeah they’re fluffye

theyre literally not dogs theyre not even fluffy. can we get science tumblr over hear or what!?

checkmate athiests

fluffye

okay but they literally are dogs, for those who are confused

If foxes are dogs, then so are wolves, coyotes, dingoes, jackals, and several other extant and extinct species.

Behold! A dog.

of course it’s a dog you buffoon. it’s fluffye.

Why on earth would someone think “BUT IF THEY’RE DOGS SO AR -”

Like yes of course wolves are dogs, where have you been. Jackals are excellent doggies! So are coyotes. Why is this confusing.

I love that this is literally two completely different arguments running simultaneously.

That guy up there who said they’re not even fluffy was thinking of sharks

sharks are also dogs. ravenous water dogs, but still dogs

Sharks can NOT be dogs they are SMOOTH

Tags via @jenroses

sharks are smooth dogs

BEHOLD, a SHARK

Happy Pride Month!

Faust the Crow loves you even more than she did the last 2 years!

someone pls let me do an animated adaptation of beetlejuice the musical pleasepleasePLEASE

That rat really knows how to play!

Neil again

was really mad that the couches in the lobby at my work got removed :( then I remembered that most days I open there's someone sleeping on them, meaning someone reported that to housekeeping and their "solution" was to remove the couches entirely?? I was pissed about it, then noticed this sign today

the removal of comfort in public spaces to 'deter' homeless people impacts everyone

You invented a machine. Paper bills get dropped in, seeds dispense from the top. The local crows quickly discovered the wondrous vending machine and youve been getting an easy 500 a week in passive income. The police haven’t caught on yet, but today there was 500k in the machine.

Why does this sound like it would work?

Because it does. It just causes adverse incentives where the corvids (and some other birds) will attack people for money.

So if that works, could you train them to pick up litter and put it in a thing for seeds?

Yes, but once again: then they will sometimes start attacking humans for it.

god forbid corvids do anything

@todaysbird

I mean…

The San Francisco Examiner, California, February 25, 1935

Sometimes I think humankind hasn’t changed at all. 

WHAT IS “DOES”?

The average man who gets enough sleep doesn’t write the sentence “What is “does”?“

To: professor@schoolname.edu Subject: CLASS3290 Question

are you mad at me

Yes

Sent from my Galaxy Dishwasher

everyone make sure to set out cheese & crackers for neil tonight <3