fuck "girl lunch" fuck "girl math" a woman is a hairy animal who sweats and grunts and excretes and hungers and gets wrinkly and dies eventually. you have to love that.
a woman is one of many types of beast
when god closes a door you reach your little paws under it and go mrrwwaaaooow mmreeaaow
Hey folks, if you want to fight back against the twitterfication of tumblr USE IT LIKE IT'S TUMBLR!!!!!! REBLOG THINGS!!!!!! USE THE TAGS TO SCREAM AT YOUR FRIENDS!!!!!!!
Woke up to this having more reblogs than likes! Keep it going! Do it on every post! REBLOG THINGS ON THE REBLOGGING THINGS SITE!
to the person who said astarion is an au of preminger on one of my posts, pls know that i am fucking d y i n g wheezing
truly uncanny
glad that im not popular enough to have an evil shadow version of my blog that exists just to make contradictions on my posts
Do Not Do This To Me
if this post hits 200k im printing it out and eating it
Achievement Unlocked:
Daily Recommended Dose of Fiber
Make an ill-advised promise within earshot of a gimmick blog.
Disco Muppetium
Fanart inspired by Scott Hofmann post on facebook
Have you guys seen that clip
Go off Kermit
we're just normal men
The original tweet is the corniest thing I’ve ever fucking seen
A. They're not gonna tip you, periodt. So already the $10mil is looking better.
B. They're not gonna talk to you, so any "business advice" you thought was gonna be worth more than $10mil, that's null and void, aint happening.
C. Here's the real secret of their "success"; they're all bad people. That's literally it. They're willing to lie, steal, cheat, bully, oppress, rape, etc to get what they want, and their appetites are never sated, so they never stop lying, cheating, etc. You don't get that kind of money through hard honest work. If you're willing to be a big enough piece of shit, you could easily be one of these guys.
So yeah, if someone's offering that choice, get it in writing and stay the hell away from these creeps.
But if you're serving them you can poison the food
Anonymous asked:
If you whimpered while I was kissing you, I would go feral
i love making noises that make women's predator instincts kick in
how do conservatives think talking to children works? if a four year old came up to me and said “i’m a cat!!” i would say “really? what makes you a cat?” and they’d say some shit like “i have claws >:)” and i’d be like “oh wow, you do have claws. but wait, i thought cats had pointed ears!” and they’d say “they DO!!!” and then i’d pull up a picture of an elf and ask “is THIS a cat?” and they’d yell “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO”
u wouldn’t say “fucking hell, Emily, get it together. this is the real world”
