A Universe with You  Prelude

Soo, hello Daminatte nation. Are we still there? It’s been ages since wrote a maribat fanfic. Quick PSA, I will not longer update Leave Paris, Move to Gotham, because this new fanfic is based on it, so if you see similar themes between these works, don’t be surprise by it. I hope you enjoy it and please tell me what you think. 

Warnings

The following work contains mentions of bl00d and disorientation. Also hints of amnesia episode. Warnings will change according to the content of the chapters. 

For this episode. 

The complete italic dialogues are in English, expect when they come along with the next symbol, *, there is a quote. 

 Universe with You

Selfish. She couldn’t afford to be selfish.

If she did not abandon Paris, the people that once loved her and billions of innocents would disappear. Not die, their souls would disappear into nothingness. 

She would disappear with them.

Deafening thunders came from the cloudless and yet dark Parisian sky. The starless sky was a clear sign that the time was running out. The once heroes of Paris hold from the rusty beams of the top of the Eiffel Tower. The young guardian struggled to keep her balance while holding on to the miraculous box. 

“We need to do something before the wish destroys our reality!” the blond hero yelled to his partner. 

There was no way around it. The guardian knew the only solution, but it would cost everything.

“I-I know the way! It is risky, but the book says that it will assure our reality’s safety in case a wish goes wrong!” The girl took a rope from the ground and walked to the stairs while the air pushed her up.

“What’s the plan, Bugaboo?!” He said as he followed her lead.

Hawk Moth finally did it. He got his wish, but he wished it in the wrong way for the wrong thing. The man wished for his wife to come back, but she disappeared like they were about to. His wife belonged to another place, and it wanted her back no matter what.

“The other place wants the miraculous!” and a soul, “So, I’ll throw them into the void!”

The next part happened too fast.

The young heroes reached the very top of the tower. The air threatened to pull them inside the void, but they held onto the structure because their life depended on it. 

“Here, hold it!” The girl gave one end of the rope to her partner while tying his waist against the railing.  

“Wait, Bugaboo, what are you doing?!” The boy did not have time to react or fight her.

She knew that he would follow her until the end, but the void would only accept a soul that was lost or a soul connected to every single one of the miraculous. A fall from that height would kill him, and she would not lose him.

He would lose her.

Still, the boy held her hand in an attempt to stop her. The girl looked at him with a sad smile and watery eyes. Without saying a single word, he understood her plan. 

“No, no, NO!,” he held her hand tighter. “You can’t do this! We, we can think of another way! But don’t do this!…” the boy let out a soft sob “don’t leave me, my dear friend.”

There was a time when the word “friend” would have triggered her, but now, she would give everything to be his friend forever.

She smiled, “Adrien, you will always be more than my friend, more than a lover or a brother. You are my partner, and it was always the plan, since I became the guardian, to make sure you and the world are safe.” Her voice broke. The void was getting stronger to the point that her legs were floating towards it. “This is not goodbye. It’s a see you later, and I know that we’ll see each other again somehow, somewhere.”

The boy sobbed. His nails were starting to dip into her hard, cutting her skin and making her bleed. 

“And if we don’t?”

“Then I will remember our adventures. I will remember the laughs, the fights, the time we spent together and apart. When we were at school and playing video games. And if somehow I forget, I’ll remember. I’ll find a way. I promise you.”

 And somehow the boy understood and regretted it.

“Before you go, was there something I could’ve said to make it all stop hurting?”*

She shook her head, “It was not your fault. The decisions of our parents are not ours. Don’t ever blame yourself. Live the life you want, and don’t wait for me.”

Those seconds felt like a lifetime. They wished they could be together, but the thunders got louder and louder by the second.

“Pound it?” the girl asked one last time.

He smiled. “Pound it,” but instead of their iconic victory celebration, the boy let go of her hand.

To him, she looks like an angel floating… no… flying into the darkness to defeat it.

It only took the blink of an eye for it to be over.

The void was gone. She was gone.

The boy left his body hit the floor. He did not care that the rope was almost encrusted on his torso. He did not care that tomorrow he would have some bruises. He just wanted to cry until his body allowed him. He just lost everything. Plag, Chat Noir, Marinette, all of them were gone, and for what 

He cried for it seemed until a soft hand softly touched his face. 

“Adrien?” The boy could barely see the person in front of him, and yet he knew that blond hair and green eyes anywhere.

She was not her aunt. She was…

“Mom?”

——————————————————————————————————————————-

Paris was a beautiful place to take a vacation for anyone, well except for Bruce Wayne.

“Are you sure that those swords will be safe in Themyscira?” The billionaire put two swords on the examination table that Diana used to restore antiquities in the Louver. 

“You have my word. The amazons will protect them with their lives. You don’t have to worry for al’ Gul. I talked with my mother, and she will make sure of their safety.” 

The Justice League’s latest mission involved retrieving some magical swords from the black market before the League of Assassins could get them. After some conflict between parties and a very tedious reunion with Talia. The swords were secured in the Louver museum, where Wonder Woman would personally take them to Themyscira. 

“Are you going to head back to Gotham after this?”

Bruce nodded. “Damian has a gallery exposition in a few days, as part of his senior graduation requirement.” 

Diana smiled at the name. The youngest of the Waynes and she shared a fond love for the arts and combat with swords. In fact, she promised to teach him some amazonian tricks the next time they got together. 

“Mind if I visit them at the gallery expo. It is always a pleasure to see his paintings. I am still trying to get a commission from him.”

“Not at all. My boys will be happy to see you, especially Jason. He asked me to…” but before he could finish, a deafening thunder shook the place. It was too loud that the windows almost shattered from their frequency. 

Bruce and Diana look at each other. 

“The weather forecast didn’t predict rain, right?” Bruce asked as she took the swords and put them in a safe under the table. 

“It never rains in July, and those thunders are identical to the ones we get in Themyscira every time anyone tries to enter the varier.”

The heroes walked and made their way to the Louver. Along the way, Diana explained that those thunders only happen when a magical barrier shatters. Paris didn’t have a magical barrier, so someone or something was entering their world. This happened before when Ares broke the barrier between Olympus and Earth to get back Aphrodite in World War II. Once they were outside, they found the darkest sky in the middle of the day. People panicked while trying to look for shelter from the strong winds in the dark sky.

“It is coming from the Eiffel Tower!” somebody shoots from nowhere.

Indeed, the top of the Eiffel Tower was covered by darkness. Not even the strong light coming from the top could illuminate the sky. 

They had to act quickly to secure whatever was coming from the void. Diana had her suit under her clothes, but Bruce left his suit in her apartment. He would not be too much help, and he knew it.

“Go and secure the perimeter. I’ll help the civilians and try to contact the other members. If you see something, use the communicator.”

Diana didn’t have to be told twice. She ran towards the tower while taking away her civilian clothes. The chaos gave her a convenient inattentional blindness from civilians. Once she was close enough, Diana used her lasso of truth to swing between buildings. 

If this was another prank or mischief of Zeus, she would personally talk to Hades to take away his throne and create a democracy in Olympus. 

The demigoddess arrived at the tower, not a single soul reminded in the place. The hurricane-like made the people flee away. The thunder got louder and louder as if it had just reached its maximum strength. She tied the lasso to one of the buildings around the tower. This was as far as her body would let her be to the void. 

It only took a blink of an eye for it to be over. 

The darkness, the air, all of it was gone as quickly as it came.

“Now or never,” she told herself as she went up to see what broke the barrier.

————————————————————————————————————————————-

Her body hit the ground so hard that it bounced from the impact. The air of her lungs got out of her body the moment she made contact, yet she never stopped protecting the box with her body. Even with her eyes closed, everything around her was too bright. The void felt like a sensory deprivation chamber. The sounds, colors, and even smells were different.

It took her a few seconds to try to see the place around her. With all the strength left in her body, she crawled to sit down without letting go of the box. 

“It can’t be,” The girl said as she looked at what was around her.

She was in Paris, or better say, she was in the same place before she got into the void. The buildings, the streets, the view was similar to her hometown, but it wasn’t her Paris. 

Quickly, the girl took the box and headed to the stairs. She knew that someone was waiting for her over there, someone important to her. Yes, they were worried for her. She just needed to make sure that they were okay, and they needed to get the rope out.  

The girl was so focused on getting to that person that she didn’t notice that she was limping while her nose started to bleed. 

“Hey! I’m here!” she shouted as she came closer to the stairs. A bubbling feeling hit her throat. She wanted to cry out of pure raw emotions. 

“I’m here, you… umm…” how weird she couldn’t remember their name, but she knew they were waiting for her. “Sorry, I… I don’t remember your name, b-but I have the box!”

She fought her tears from the frustration of not remembering them. She had the box of the miraculous, so it was her duty to protect it and them. Tears could wait.

The girl almost reached the end of the stairs when her heart started pounding. Her eyes glowed with emotions when she, in fact, saw somebody at the end of it. 

“Hi, I’m here, I’m here!” she shouted out pure glee. “Were you waiting long?”

The girl stopped when she saw the person in front of her. The woman was tall with body armor that made her look intimidating. Her piercing brown eyes felt like daggers on her body. On one hand, the woman had a golden rope and a big sword ready to use on the other.

This didn’t make sense. The woman was at the end of the stairs and had a rope. This is what the girl was looking for, and yet, it felt like she had the wrong person. She felt disappointed. 

“You were looking for me?” the woman asked the girl without letting her guard down. 

Logic told her yes, this was the person on the stair with the rope, but her heart to her not.

“I-I think so… you are here at the stairs, and you have the rope.” The woman lifted an eyebrow at that last part.

“It’s not a rope. It’s a lasso.” the woman gave her an end of the lasso to the girl. “See? It is a different material.”

The lasso felt weird on her fingers like a shock of energy. The girl looked at the woman who watched her in silence.

“I have the box.” She pointed to the wood creation with the hand holding the lasso.

“I can see that. Where did you come from?”

“The void,” she blurted out.

“And beyond the void?”

“Paris.”

“You are from here?”

“No, not this Paris. My Paris, our Paris.” The girl tried to explain. “This place looks like Paris, but it is not. The place is gloomier and colder and… and… it doesn’t have that feeling of home. Don’t you feel it?” The girl’s legs failed, ungracefully sitting on the stairs with the box on her legs. 

The woman stepped closer. “I am afraid not.”

“Then you are not the one waiting for me?” she said with hope in her voice.

“I don’t think I am.” the woman kneeled on her level. If she wasn’t the person who was waiting for her, where were they?.

“Tell me, what is the box?”

“The miraculous.” she held the box even closer.

“And what is that?”

“Power.”

“Why do you have it?”

“I-I am the guardian. I have to keep them safe from bad people.”

“That’s why you came from the void?”

“Yes.”

“So you opened the void to protect them from these people.”

“No,” the girl stopped for a second. Her head started hurting. “No, I didn’t open it. I just jumped into it. The… the bad person opened. He wanted to… he wanted to do something forbidden, something bad, and he did it wrong, and I had to close it because it was getting bigger, but the void could only be closed by the miraculous and me. And then this person was on the stairs,” silent tears hit the cover of the wooden box, “ they had a rope, and they were waiting for me. I know that… they must be waiting. Somewhere they must be waiting for me, they were sad when I left, and I don’t want them to be sad. I need to find them so I can tell them I have the box, and we will be happy, but I have to find them and tell them I am fine. I am fine, and the box is fine, and the void is gone, and they must be fine, so I… so I have… I have to…” It was at this point that she couldn’t speak anymore. She could just cry. 

The woman took her lasso away from her and tried to comfort her. “Hey, hey, we’ll find your friend, and we’ll tell him that you have the box, but first we need to get you some re…” 

Blood, the girl coughed blood on the woman’s her face, but it did not stop there. The girl lay against the stairs while she coughed uncontrollably. 

The woman got even closer to the girl to help her while she put a hand behind the band of her tiara. 

“Batman, this is Wonder Woman. Prepare the medical suit, we have a young woman in need of help. She is in bad shape, hurry!”

Her body felt too cold and hot at the same time, and her lungs felt as if they were full of water. She looked at the woman for some kind of help, who passed a hand on her forehead. 

“Don’t worry, love, you’ll be al….”

Everything went dark from then. 

Before You go, Lewis  capaldi

*this is especially important: these days on Tumblr there’s a wonderful atmosphere of being able to talk openly about your mental illness or your struggle. And that’s great! But there’s a difference between sharing in order to help yourself and other people and sharing just because you have no other coping mechanisms. As much as you’re able, try to work on developing a different outlet. People aren’t qualified to be your therapist because they’re nice to you a couple of times. Please remember that they have lives too, and their job is not to make you feel better or pity you, no matter how difficult your life is. 

And last but not least: 

But… 

I really don’t have a way to better this. 

Your interests are your own. I can’t advise anyone to change their interests to fit in with a certain group of people - that’s stupid, and actually quite damaging to your sense of self. 

Instead, I would recommend that, maybe if you feel like your topics of conversation are falling flat with this group of people, you move on to other, greener pastures. There are bound to be places where your ideas mesh better with an audience. 

And of course - try to be considerate about what you say and how you say it. 

Sometimes, what might seem like a harmless comment to you might be a very discomforting thought to another person. I recently had a conversation on a forum with a guy who was telling me that his headcanon was that Pearl (from SU) would soon get a male love interest who loved mechanics and weapons next, and that would be her best arc, because she would finally get a ‘healthy’ love interest. 

His intentions were good, but he was entirely unaware of how cringey this kind of thing was to a bunch of (probably queer) people, who have spent their entire lives being told that the only ‘good’ character development for them would be to get a ‘male love interest’. No one wanted to be the jerk to say “fuck off, we don’t want that to happen” but everyone was answering him in a flat way, trying to discourage the discussion further. Instead of picking up on the hint, he bulldozed on, thinking he was having a ‘lively conversation’ which was, in fact, in its late stages of death. 

I know I’ll probably get a few messages to this saying: What about people on the Autistic Spectrum? Sometimes, people can’t pick up social cues or ‘hints’. And if that’s the case, it’s incredibly difficult to understand why you’re not having any luck communicating despite your best efforts. 

I feel that on a person level, please believe me. I made this infograph for THAT VERY REASON. Because I WAS that awkward kid who didn’t pick up on hints well. In fact, I still have trouble talking to people. If any of you have had the misfortune of being my conversational partner, you’ll know that I tend to be overly blunt and come off as very unfriendly. It’s something that I, myself, am working on currently in order to grow into a better person. It’s a struggle in progress, but I am aiming towards the progress side, and I just wanted to help out others while I was at it. 

This is a really good starting guide to the social skills everyone thinks you should have just picked up magically.

So, yes, this is exactly the advice I think autistic people would benefit from; it actually tells you concrete, actionable, things you could do. I wish someone had told me this stuff when I was a kid.

https://t.co/tQNM37KsB0

This is my tribe. Many of us in our home countries live off selling handmade goods, especially the mochilas. Weaving is an important Wayuú tradition. Every pattern and assortment of colors tells a unique story, and it's important to our cultural identity. And right now with the crises in Venezuela and Colombia, a lot of us are struggling financially. Please always purchase directly from indigenous communities!

How to Use a Male Condom

I just had to explain this to a 24-year-old who has been sexually active for years, so we’re all getting a refresher course in condom use before we give each other fucking gonorrhea.  Step One: Acquire a condom. No money? No problem. If you wander close enough to a planned parenthood, someone will throw them at your face. Got money? Good for you. Go buy them. Get them ribbed or studded or kumquat-scented or whatever the hell you kids are into these days. Get them fucking glow-in-the-dark for all I care. Just make sure they fit. And whatever you do, don’t use them after their expiration date and don’t store them in your goddamn wallet. Step Two: Get a willing partner. And I don’t mean like “Yeah, sure, whatever, I guess I’m okay with this” willing. A shrug and an awkward silence isn’t fucking good enough. You need someone with goddamn enthusiasm. You need someone who hungers for your loins like a starving cheetah eyeing a piece of zebra ass. Them begging you for it is optional, but kind of fun.  Step Three: Open the condom. Like a human. With your fingers. Ripping it open with your teeth like a starving hyena is not only bad for your teeth, it’s an awesome way to rip a hole in the damn thing. Any sex appeal you might have somehow gotten from chewing the condom open will immediately evaporate when you’re spitting out lube and reaching for a second condom. Just open it properly.  Step Four: Figure out which way it goes. Seriously. Condoms aren’t like toilet paper rolls, where there’s a right way and an incorrect-but-I-guess-it-will-do way to put them on. There is one correct way only. Look at it. When you put something hard and penis-shaped into the tip, it should roll right down with minimum effort. Pay attention, because if you put this thing on backwards, there’s no turning it inside-out and trying again - you have to throw that shit out and start over.  Step Five: Before you put it on, pinch the reservoir! You know, that little balloon-y tip on the end? Pinch it. Push out all the air, and hold it. Your condom should have less air than the surface of the moon. Forgetting to pinch the reservoir is a recipe for a broken condom, and nobody has the time or energy to deal with that shit.  Step Six: Roll it on. Stick it on the head of the penis, and roll it down until the whole shaft is covered. Penis not erect? You’re not ready for a condom, play with it a little and try again. Accidentally put in on backwards? Throw that shit out and start again. Condom doesn’t roll down without yanking on it? It’s too small, throw that shit out and get a different size. Condom fitting too loosely and not staying put? It’s too big, throw that shit out and get a different size. Were you actually in need of a female condom? Throw the male one out and get the right one.  Step Seven: Have at it. Do the thing. If you feel the condom slipping or if it comes off completely, you need to stop immediately and go back to steps one to three. Do not pass Go. Do not collect $200. And if one of you changes your mind about continuing, you stop right the fuck now. Immediately.  Step Eight: When you’re done, the person wearing the condom has to grab it by the base, and pull it all the way out. You’re gonna go soft after that, and if you let the condom slip off before you’re all the way out, then you just let a lot of package-opening and rubber-unrolling skills go to waste. And once you do take it off, wrap it up in toilet paper and toss it in the trash - don’t you dare flush it, your plumbing will not be happy with you. So that’s it, folks. That’s how you put a condom on a penis that needs to have a condom on it. Play safe out there, people. 

Because American sex Ed sucked when i was in school. All the things I never knew

The '' unusual '' and solid masculinity of Gabriel Oak and Peeta Mellark

Some time ago I made a post about one of my most beloved literary characters Gabriel Oak and how the archetype of masculinity he represents is still unfortunately ignored in pop culture. This time I want to talk about a wonderful exception.

Peeta Mellark is the main male character in The Hunger Games book and film series and he is openly inspired by Hardy's character. Suzanne Collins, the English author's avid admirer, gave Bathsheba's last name for her heroine Katniss, but more than that, she pays homage to Gabriel in her hero Peeta. I have a lot of affection for the character of Collins, I met him when I was a teenager myself and even then I noticed that his personality was different and more special than the ordinary male interests of YA that I had seen until then.

But what are the similarities between them and what is so special about their way of being men? Both authors give superficially traditional masculine characteristics to their heroes, they are described as strong, courageous, physically capable and have professions typically related to men (Gabriel is a shepherd and Peeta is a baker). But make no mistake, the usual stops there. Peeta, like Gabriel, represents a brilliant, serene, gentle, sweet, soft, loving, nurturing and empathetic personality in his story. Both don't use artifice or an aura of mystery, they aren't impulsive, dark, imature, dominating, aggressive nor stormy, attributes that are common in young male characters who are also love interests. Both use violence only when absolutely necessary for protection. In fact, they are constantly characterized by the purity of their smiles. Gabriel and Peeta have a great affinity with an artistic vision of the world, Gabriel with the music of his flute and the contemplation of nature and reading and Peeta with his painting, confection of cakes and cookies and camouflage. They are caring people at their core; this is demonstrated in Gabriel, not only by the way he takes care of Bathsheba (which Hardy even compares with the care of a maternal figure), but also with his relationship with the natural world and his function of feeding, helping to give birth, warm and protect animals, as well as his kindness to vulnerable figures like the humble young Fanny Robin and the mentally unstable Boldwood. In Peeta, this care impulse is also present in his relationship with his romantic interest Katniss, whom he provides emotional strength, as well as in cleaning up and feeding the drunk and disturbed Haymitch or in comforting one of the tributes that dies in his arms, distracting her from the pain with the artistic description of a sunset. Both are described by their love interests as a source of steadiness and moral balance. In their relationship with the main female characters they are a constant support for comfort and advice, even at times when they have no hope of being matched in their affections. They are primarily concerned with the well-being and happiness of their ladies, even if it could mean that they'll no longer be part of their life. In the moments when the strong, stormy and also unusual female figures of Bathsheba and Katniss demonstrate exceptional vulnerability to them, they never make this rare moment (taking into account the tough personality of the two girls) a weapon of manipulation to get paid for their attentions, on the contrary, both help their loved ones return to the resilience common to them. But they aren't altruistic without self-love nor are they passive, they both show integrity and aren't ashamed to express when they feel hurt or disrespected, for example. They go through considerable trauma and loss. In Peeta this translates to the loss of his leg, his family and momentarily his sanity and identity. In Gabriel this translates into the financial and expectation ruin that forces him to start from scratch after a lonely life of deprivation. Both know how to use words to express themselves, not that they talk too much, but they know what to say at the right time and what to do to make people feel welcomed and safe around them. Neither, however, are infallible or unreal, it isn't always easy to maintain this moral indubitability and the state of beings who think before acting in extreme situations, especially when it means making non-simplistic choices, but they are still the humanistic compass of the two stories.

All this doesn't mean that they are emasculated (as a sexist view would accuse ...) for following the lead of their female characters of a more combative and ferocious nature, but that their masculinity is more solid, confident and healthy than the emotional unavailability with which society still torments men (and consequently women, who are taught from an early age to observe such inability as a desired masculine trait and themselves having to provide the full range of affection in their families).

Yes, this is mainly a love letter to the two characters, but also a not-so-veiled criticism of the still limited view of masculinity in entertainment, whether in classic literature or in the best seller, in the cult film or in the blockbuster. Art shapes the world, but the world is shaped by art too, and if our boys and girls learned to respect and admire more characters like these two, we would have a society that perhaps would be less unequal and less painful for everyone.

This Doesn't Mean We're Friends - Prologue

(Prologue) | Next Chapter

I have no idea how long this fic will be. I have a couple chapters written out already, and an overview for the whole fic done, but I still need to do a lot of editing, revising, and writing. I hope I’ll be able to update frequently, but with school starting, I can’t make any promises. I know that this is a super short intro, and I hope that the next chapter will be more interesting, but I hope that y’all enjoy!! have a great day everyone!!

———

As Marinette made her way up the stairs in the courtyard, she tried to ignore that she was sentencing herself to an entire day with her class as soon as she stepped in the classroom door. She knew they were never going to be friends again, even if Lila was exposed. They had done too much to her, betrayed her too easily. And for pretty lies and broken promises. No, she didn’t want them back in her life, but that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt when Marinette saw her entire class gathered around Lila every day.

When Marinette entered the classroom, she walked around the group to her seat at the back of the class. She paused her internal dialogue to listen to what lies Lila had come up with today. Lila was hanging off Adrien, as per usual since they had started dating. Marinette wasn’t sure how he had convinced himself to do that for the “good of the peace in class”, but she couldn’t find it in herself to care. She had lost her crush on Adrien as soon as she had realized what a coward he was.

“Adriboo has invited me to the annual fashion week gala, because he knows that I’m friends with quite a few people attending, and wanted me to be able to catch up with them.” Lila told her avid listeners. Marinette tried not to get jealous about that. While Lila most definitely didn’t know anyone there, she still got to attend, something Marinette would have given an arm and a leg to do.

The event was hosted by the top names in fashion, and despite being part of Paris’s fashion week, it was one event that everyone who was anyone went to, even if they weren’t in the fashion industry. Getting invited was hard, but was also a sure way to get recognized, especially as an up and coming designer.

Marinette was lost in thought as Lila name dropped a few famous people who would be attending who she claimed she was either related to or had been friends with since forever. She was zoned out until Alya said her name. “I bet Marinette wishes she could be as good as you Lila and go to the gala.” One, no - two, yes. Marinette answered in her head.

She decided that it was going to be a long day when she heard a slightly snarky voice from the front of the classroom say, loudly, “Do you want to go to the gala with me, Marinette?”

i am not joking we need to force teach cooking in schools. like. it is an essential thing for survival. do you know how easy it is to make things if you know even the bare bones shit about how cooking works. we need to teach teenagers how far you can take an onion and some other veggies it’’s sad that people grow up not knowing how to prepare literally anything. and i’m not talking about oh this home ed class taught me how to make chicken nuggets at home i’m talking about learning the balancing of sweetness and acidity and saltiness and bitterness and shit like that and techniques and oil temperatures and how meats cook. it needs to be taught because it’s literally not even that difficult and it matters so much

i truly believe that knowing how to cook is a basic survival concept and the fact that so many people can’t even make simple dishes is depressing as hell this is the sorta thing that should be taught at a young age. being able to take the ingredients you have around your home and turn them into a meal is like, essential and will make life so much better. you don’t need to be a high end chef you just need to understand some things that can be easily taught… but then again maybe the education system is playing a roll against this and ultimately they want you to grow up to rely on mcdonalds for dinner. i don’t know. please learn how to cook for yourself if you’re able. i’m not asking you to hunt for specific ingredients to make some expensive youtuber’s “best” recipe but if you know the basics of cooking you can do a lot with cheap canned ingredients. cooking can be affordable i promise you just need to learn how to make do with what you can get

Can anyone point me towards resources that teach those basics cus I would LOVE to teach my child this stuff but i dont know how to cook

not comprehensive but heres some:

internet shaquille’s basics but especially:

food safety + a recipe to demonstrate

how to learn to cook (just a list of subtopics, no actual tips)

basics with babish s1 & 2, but particularly:

basic knife skills

picking the right pan for each recipe

j. kenji lopez-alt’s tips and tricks playlist

egg recipes

a little more complicated, involved, and longer than any of the rest of these but good breakdown of flavor & how and why to use the basic seasoning/flavor profiles

and then recipe channels representing various cuisines:

again definitely not a comprehensive list but it touches on most of the basics

Old Scars and New Beginnings Pt98

Beginning   Previous

They had only been in the gardens for fifteen minutes when they lost sight of Marinette. Selina had no idea how it was possible that a group of trained vigilantes, heroes, and a bodyguard had lost track of her at all let alone so quickly. They had worked out a rotation so that Mari would never be left alone and this still happened. The really sad part was that it’s not like she was even trying to get away from them, she likely just caught sight of something interesting and took off. But still, none of them had seen it and that didn’t sit right with Selina. Something was wrong, she could feel it.

They had all split up to try and find her and Selina was going to the area that had some of Ivy’s more… aggressive plants. They knew her so she wasn’t likely to have issues but Mari hadn’t been around them yet so it was entirely possible one of them had grabbed her. What she didn’t not expect to see when she came around the corner was those same plants seemingly trying to comfort the girl while restraining a tiny asian man in a hawaiian shirt.

“The Kwami don’t spend enough time active in this world to have a good grasp of what is necessary. You need to turn the box back over to me.” Oh hell no. This was the asshole who’d basically ruined both Marinette and Adrien’s lives? She had expected someone more… imposing. This man looked like a stiff breeze would decimate him.

“The Kwami are only inactive because the Guardian’s were afraid of their influence, but they are not meant to be restrained that way. The world is out of balance because the Guardians and most recently you, have refused to listen to them and activate them when necessary. Leaving the Kwami that aren’t bound to Miraculous unchecked because you don’t want to risk Tikki and Plagg doing something you don’t approve of has already had devastating consequences that you won’t acknowledge.” Marinette was close to tears but Selina thought it was frustration more than anything else. The plants holding the man tightened their grip while the others just cuddled up to the girl.

“You don’t have any context for the things they’ve been telling you. You need to release me and give me the box back before you make things worse.” That actually got the girl to narrow her eyes at him.

“I’ve never had context for the things you tell me either but at least they’ve never abandoned me. They didn’t purposely leave me to deal with the consequences of their actions so they could run away. You knew how bad it was for me and you never once tried or offered to help. You didn’t even help Adrien when the world turned against him. You could have transformed and made a statement but instead you took our only means of protecting ourselves or clearing his name and disappeared.” By the time she ran out of words she was breathing hard. Selina honestly wasn’t sure if it was the anger or the beginning of a panic attack. The plants just hugged her tighter and she gave them a small smile. “And I can’t release you because I’m not the one holding you. I don’t know what is going on with these plants.”

“They like you sweetheart, and they know fertilizer when they see it.” Selina jumped at the voice behind her and then cursed at her own idiocy. Of course the plants would have alerted Ivy. She and Harley were both glaring at the man and Marinette just blinked at them in shock for a moment before smiling down at the plants and petting them the way you would a dog.

“Well I like you guys too.” Selina couldn’t help herself; she had to take out her phone and get a picture. Both of Marinette and the way Ivy had softened at the interaction. While the normally caustic woman had already had a soft spot for Marinette this probably just put her in Ivy’s list of favorite people. The moment was ruined when the man cleared his throat.

“Mari, why don’t you go find the others and we’ll handle this?” The girl looked relieved for a moment before letting out a sigh.

“As much as I’d like to, I can’t. This is something the Guardian needs to take care of.” The man’s eyes looked like they were trying to come out of his head at that comment.

“You’re already being reckless with your responsibilities. You already have one death on your conscience,  return the box to me before things get worse.” Mari just cocked her head with a quizzical expression. Harley look ready to murder the man.

“If you’re referring to my new fox, she’s not dead. No thanks to you and your secrets.” Her tone was bitter and the man let out an exasperated sigh.

“I told you what you needed to know. The rest would have only distracted you from what needed to be done.” His tone said he was explaining something to a petulant two year old and it took everything in her not to go after him. As it was Ivy had apparently decided she’d had enough because one of the vines moved to cover his mouth. Mari had tears in her eyes.

“You let me, at best, rewrite the timeline over and over again, causing who knows how much damage. At worst I was doing exactly what we were trying to prevent Hawkmoth from doing and you think that wasn’t something I should know?” She was getting angrier and louder as she went. She walked up to the man and took a deep breath before her face went blank. “Wang Fu, you have been deemed unworthy of being a Guardian by the Kwami of Creation and Destruction. As their Chosen Guardian of the Miraculous I also deem you unworthy. I revoke your ability to wield any Miraculous. I revoke your knowledge of everything relating to the Miraculous, Kwami, or the Guardians.”

As she spoke Selina could feel power radiating from her. The man looked panicked and struggled against the plants holding him but as soon as she finished he went limp and just looked confused. Marinette signaled to Ivy and she let the man go.

“Where am I?” Mari looked pained for a moment but her voice was considerably softer when she spoke to him.

“You’re in the Wayne Botanical Gardens in Gotham Mr. Fu. You wandered into a restricted area and some of the plants are less than friendly towards visitors. But you’re safe now.” Adrien, Chloe, and Bruce chose that moment to come around the corner and at the panicked look on the teens faces Selina moved to block them from getting closer. She had no clue what had just happened but figured it was best to let Mari sort it out.

“Do I know you child?” Mari winced but nodded before offering a smile.

“When you had your shop in Paris I came in a few times. I always felt better when I left. Were you thinking of opening a new store in Gotham? While it could certainly use your services I worry about how dangerous the city will be for you.” The man frowned in thought, obviously having no idea what he was doing here. “Or are you just passing through and decided to stop here? I remember you talking fondly about being able to retire.”

“Yes, that’s what it is. I left Paris to travel and this seemed like a lovely attraction. I’m headed to New York for a few days next and then probably back to Europe.” He sounded uncertain and Selina had a feeling his brain was working to fill in the gaps of his lost memory given what Mari had said to him.

“That’s wonderful. You deserve a break after all these years. Do you need help to get back to your hotel?” She sounded completely genuine and if it had been anyone else Selina would have thought they were a great actress, but it was Mari and it was obvious she was being sincere. This man had ruined her life and now she was worried about him. She honestly wasn’t certain if it was more endearing or concerning that the girl couldn’t seem to hold a grudge even when she should.

“You are a very considerate child, but I’ll be fine on my own thank you… what was your name?” Her expression didn’t change at all but Selina was certain she’d felt something in the girl crack.

“Marinette.” Her tone was a little flatter than it had been but the man didn’t seem to notice.

“Thank you Marinette, and I’ll try to stay away from unfriendly plants in the future.” as he walked around the corner Mari’s smile dropped and Tikki flew out to hug her cheek.

“It had to be done Mari.” The girl nodded but her expression didn’t change at all. Selina rushed to pull her into a hug. Whatever was going through her mind couldn’t be good.

“Are you ready to go home kitten?” All she got was a small nod as the girl burrowed into her. “Is it alright if Harley and Ivy tag along?” Another small nod. While she wasn’t expecting Mari to open up to Harley yet, she wanted to get her used to being around them so that it would be possible later. Ivy went over to the plants that had been comforting Mari and picked up a seedling. Selina raised an eyebrow at her.

“It wants to stay with her.” Having one of Ivy’s plants in Mari’s possession could certainly come in handy but Bruce frowned at them.

“It’s not poisonous is it?” Ivy rolled her eyes at him.

“If any of these were poisonous that man wouldn’t have walked away, not with how protective my babies were over Marinette.” Bruce still seemed wary of the idea but Mari peeked up at him with a hopeful expression and he caved.

“As long as you take proper care of it. We don’t need a plant wandering the house strangling the boys.” That actually got a giggle and Selina felt like she could breathe again. Today was supposed to be a no stress, fun with the family day. Granted those are normally interrupted by a Rogue attack, but for Mari this was probably worse.

“Let’s get going then. It’s still early so what do you say to teaching those of us that want to, and Alfred will allow into the kitchen, how to make something sweet and then maybe family movie night? You get to pick the movie, or pick another person to choose one though or they’ll all just spend the entire night fighting.” That got an amused huff.

“Sounds nice.”

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[Transcript:

Bill (Professional Henchman), wearing a black medical face mask, standing guard against a door: *to himself* "God I hate morning patrols. At least when I'm not on night patrol I'm not getting hit by Batman....Although I do have to wake up early so I might actually prefer getting hit by Batman."

Random Henchman (face exposed): *comes down the stairs* "Hey, man, Boss just called and said I'm gonna be guarding the door with you tonight."

Bill: "Sounds good. Whoa hey- where...where's your mask, man?"

Random Henchman: "Ex..excuse me?"

Bill: "Last time I checked we're still in the middle of a fucking pandemic, man. There's a mask mandate. Where's your fuckin' mask?"

RH: "Are you kidding?? Who fucking cares if there's a mask mandate, man. We're villains! We're henchmen, we're evil - we break the law all the time! It's literally our job!

Bill: "We're villains and we break the law, but we're not fuckin stupid. We still listen to science."

RH: "Maybe you do."

Bill: "What the actual fuck are you talk- we're working for a super scientist right now! That is Mr. Freeze in there!"

RH: "Don't be so fuckin' paranoid."

Bill: *closes eyes* "Tell me that a henchman in Gotham City did not just tell me to not be paranoid!!"

RH: "Fuckin' whatever. Still not wearing a mask, dude."

Bill: "Yes, the fuck you are! Or Imma report your ass to the Goonion!"

RH: "Fucking come on! Seriously, dude?"

Bill: "Absolutely! I am more concerned about my and everyone else's safety than your fuckin' friendship. Go put on a mask or you're getting reported, asshole."

RH: *glare*

Bill: *pointed look*

RH: "Fine. Fuck." *turns around* "God, you're a prick."

Bill: *calls after him sarcastically* "I'm sorry for caring about the people around me, you fucking heartless asshole!"

Bill: *mutters indistinctly to himself* "...don't even like wearing these things...get this shit over with..."

*waits*

Bill: *muttering again* "...fuckin' vaccinated, Jesus...for christ's sake..."

...

Bill: "...he go buy one from the 7/11? Where the fuck is he?"

RH: *coming back down* "I got a mask you fuckin' asshole."

Bill: "It's about fuckin ti...ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME??"

RH: *wearing a Cobra Commander full face helmet* "What? You said a mask! This is a mask!"

Bill: "You know good and goddamn well I meant a face mask!"

RH: "Sor-ry, but I don't carry medical grade face masks everywhere that I go!"

Bill: "Yeah, because the Cobra Commander helmet is so much more reasonable than having a- why do you have that?"

RH: "I'm a hench for hire okay? The Goonion sends me wherever I need to go and the last place I went was goddamn Cobra headquarters in Springfield!"

Bill: "That's from a another villain's henchman? That's even more reason you can't fucking wear it!"

RH: "D'you want me to wear a fucking mask or not??"

Bill: "I will just loan you a mask! Just take the helmet off!"

RH: "You mean you made me go through all this and you could have just loaned me a mask this entire fuckin time?"

Bill: "You're on year two of this motherfucker! Everyone has a mask! I did not think I was going to need to get you one or you were going to wear a fucking Cobra helmet! Take it off!"

RH: "Fine! Fuck. Goddamn it." *moves to take it off*

Bill: *mutters in disbelief* "Un-fucking-believable."

RH: *struggles with helmet, grunting*

Bill: *eyeroll* "What fuckin' now?"

RH: *muffled* "It's stuck."

Bill: "What."

RH: *frustrated groan* "It's fucking stuck, okay?"

Bill: *shakes head in disbelief* "How did you make it out of training?"

RH: *more frustrated groaning* "Are you gonna fucking help or not?"

Bill: "Fuck. Here." *pulls down helmet and feels around it* "There's a latch in the back."

RH: *grunt of approval* "There you go. Think you got it."

Bill: *stands back* "Alright. There. Jeez-"

RH: *pulls off helmet to reveal Red Hood helmet underneath* "Awesome. Thank you."

Bill: "Fuck!!!" *stumbles back and runs*

Red Hood: *to himself* "Nice to know they're at least staying safe. Welp." *cocks gun* "Time to fix that."]

I just got a car and started driving again so I was thinking about some safety things for D/deaf/HoH drivers. One huge concern is the possibility of being pulled over and encountering the police.

I have a magnet similar to this on my car in case of that situation

I also keep a notepad and pen in my glove box with my insurance card and registration. I keep everything is in one place so I won’t have to reach around and look like i’m searching for “something”

—-

I also found this article with more information—

https://www.aarp.org/health/conditions-treatments/info-2016/deaf-driver-safety-police-kb.html

Too many deaf folks have been killed by police, already. Stay safe!

(Hearing people are encouraged to reblog)

I also have a Deaf Driver card

mine is from Gallaudet, so all the information is for DC but its still effective to let an officer know you’re d/Deaf no matter where you are. It goes in the visor of whatever car I’m driving. 

Spread this like butter on cornbread.

[Image description: a banner and two photos of a pamphlet.

The banner is bright yellow and says in large text: Driver is Deaf. In smaller text it says “Failure to comply with verbal commands means driver can’t hear you.”

The front of the pamphlet says in large text “I am a Deaf Driver,” followed by bullet points.

Smaller text says “Video Relay Systems at Police Districts: The Metropolitan Police Department has technology for individuals in the deaf and hard of hearing community to communicate with its members. Each police district station offers a video relay service which enables those who rely on American Sign Language to access a live interpreter via a computer and video camera at the station desk. Station personnel are trained in the use and operation of the technology and can assist members of the community to establish a connection. The service is available at all seven of the police district stations and three sub-stations. Find out more about the police districts and locate your Police Service Area by visiting www.mpdc.dc.gov/districts or citizenatlas.dc.gov/atlasapps/reporthometab.aspx.”

The back of the card is titled “Tips for Using Your Visor Card” and says

It is followed by a list of Police Districts and Substations in the DC area.

First District: 101 M. Street, SW. (202) 698-0555. TTY: (202) 727-8506.

First District Substation: 500 E. Street, SE. (202) 698-0068. TTY: (202) 543-2352.

Second District: 3320 Idaho Avenue, NW. (202) 715-7300. TTY: (202) 364-3961.

Third District: 1620 V Street, NW. (202) 673-6815. TTY: (202) 518-0008.

Fourth District: 6001 Georgia Avenue, NW. (202) 715-7400. TTY: (202) 722-1791.

Fourth District Substation: 750 Park Road, NW. (202) 576-8222. TTY: (202) 576-9460.

Fifth District: 1805 Bladensburg Road, NE. (202) 698-0150. TTY: (202) 727-5437.

Sixth District: 100 42nd Street, NE. (202) 698-0880. TTY: (202) 398-5497.

Sixth District Substation: 2701 Pennsylvania Ave, SE. (202) 698-2088. TTY: (202) 281-3945.

Seventh District: 2455 Alabama Avenue, SE. (202) 698-1500. TTY: (202) 889-3574.

End image description]

Good Examples of Consent in Children’s Cartoons

Exhibit A: Gargoyles

In this scene, Goliath reaches up with a fond expression on his face, clearly intending to stroke Elisa’s hair… but then stops himself at the last minute, frowning, and pulls away. (One thing it’s important to make note of in context is that hair stroking, for gargoyles, is the cultural equivalent of a kiss.)

Why This Is a Good Example of Consent

We’re Allowed to Sympathize with Both Characters

Throughout pretty much the entirety of the finale, we can feel Goliath’s frustration: the sexual tension between these two has been off the charts since midway through Season One and we’re nearing the end of the series without them having talked about or properly addressed this, and Elisa has been waffling on having a proper conversation about their feelings for the better part of a year. The audience really does sympathize with Goliath here, and sympathizing with a male character’s frustration is not an innately bad thing. After all, he’s… well, “only human” is not the correct turn of phrase here, for obvious reasons, but he is a sexual and emotional being with feelings and desires that he can’t just turn on and off at will.

At the same time, though, Elisa’s hesitance is never portrayed as making her cruel or a tease. She has real, valid reasons for her reluctance to make a commitment or to get involved with someone she honestly believes is not a viable option. While it’s easy enough to say “We’ll find a way to make it work,” actually being faced with the reality of either having to hide the relationship or to face extreme societal censure (not to mention a certain degree of physical incompatibility and being unable to have children with your partner) is a whole different ball game. The fact that Elisa took the time to give these issues the serious consideration they deserved rather than diving in headfirst in a moment of passion without being sure whether they’d actually be able to make it work doesn’t make her shallow—as a matter of fact, it’s quite the opposite.

…but Her Autonomy Is Still More Important than His Boner

I already stated above that Goliath can’t control his feelings, and that it isn’t a bad thing for the audience to sympathize with him in this regard. What does matter is that he controls his actions—if she doesn’t want to be touched in that way, there’s no amount of frustration on his part that will give him the right to touch her. What’s more, the fact that he actively stops himself says that he understands as much.

Exhibit B: Avatar: the Last Airbender

In this scene, Sokka and Suki are having a conversation in which they’re sorting out their feelings for each other. In the heat of the moment, Suki leans in to kiss him, but upon seeing him hesitate, says “I am so sorry” and promptly backs away.

Why This Is a Good Example of Consent

One’s Right to Bodily Autonomy Is not Determined by Gender

It’s rarely acknowledged in popular media that any male character might not want attention from an attractive woman (unless, of course, he’s gay). What’s more, Sokka isn’t just a male character, he’s a teenage boy, which at least according to the stereotypes is one of the horniest demographics in existence, and who has on numerous different occasions been shown to have a healthy attraction to the opposite sex. Absolutely none of this negates his right to say no. Being male, or being a hormone-addled teenager, does not, and should not, override anyone’s right to bodily autonomy.

No One Is Entitled to an Explanation

When Sokka hesitates to kiss her, Suki doesn’t get defensive about it. She doesn’t demand an explanation for why he rejected her. She doesn’t take it personally. She apologizes and backs off (and, the next morning, is ready to apologize again for misreading his signals). In short, she doesn’t try to make it about her, because this rejection isn’t about her. It’s about Sokka, and what he does or doesn’t feel comfortable doing in that moment.

Reasons that Apply to Both

Attraction =/= Consent

In both cases, we have clear evidence that the feelings the characters had for each other were in fact mutual (evidence which is confirmed when both couples exchange a consensual kiss later on). Elisa has had a thing for Goliath pretty much since she first learned he was sentient, and Sokka and Suki had some really good banter (complete with liberal amounts of blushing) shortly after they first met. This changes exactly nothing about their right to say no, or about their right to have that “no” respected. “I know you want it” is never an excuse.

It Doesn’t Matter Why

Elisa and Sokka both have very different, and equally valid, reasons for not saying “yes” in that moment. Elisa is not yet ready to deal with the social and personal consequences of getting involved with someone of a different species. Sokka is still mourning the death of his previous girlfriend and doesn’t want to make out with someone else under circumstances that remind him of her. At no point is either pressured or expected to give an explanation: because it would make them uncomfortable, or because it would dig up some really painful memories, or simply because it’s nobody else’s business, it just doesn’t matter. “I just don’t want to” ought to be reason enough, and in this case, it is.

WHAT AN ABSOLUTE QUEEN FOR THIS

a tutorial on rescuing someone from an uncomfortable or dangerous situation

Hawkmoth was a bitch, and Marinette meant that with every fiber of her soul. Fu was also a bitch, and Marinette actually had good memories of the guy. Not many, but she had some. The fact that the guy got two ten-year-olds to become super heroes and fight a supervillain for him kinda soured those memories, though. But with Chat Noir not allowed to leave his house? Yeah, even as young as they were it only took about a year to find out who HawkMoth was and another year to take him down.

Except, that left Marinette alone. The final battle took her mom away, and Chat had to move out of Paris after his dad was arrested. Luckily Jagged allowed her and her papa to move into his house in Gotham, and everything was…

Well, it was okay. For about a month.

Then her dad was gone too, and she had no way to talk to Jagged, and the police were scaring her—

Yeah, that was the basic order of events that led to where she was now. Pushing fourteen years old, ex-superhero, protector of a magical box of gods, stealing the tires off of a very nice motorcycle.

Marinette was tempted to just take the whole thing, she loved bikes and knew she could drive it. But the thing had more security than she knew what to do with, and the fact that it belonged to Red Hood… she didn’t want to deal with trackers today, thanks. So the tires it was.

Should she maybe care more about the fact that she was stealing from a vigilante with a violent streak? Maybe. Did she? Hell no. For all she knew, maybe Red Hood was a bitch too. (Yes, she was still learning English slang. She was fluent by educational standards, but learning how to curse in a foreign language was fun and she still had a little bit to go. Her few street friends were very happy to help).

A shadow dropped down in front of her, and Marinette’s hero instincts kicked in. The tire iron she was using cut through the air, slamming right into the side of Red Hood’s knee.

—*—*—*—*—*

“Hood,” Batman’s voice grumbled over the comms, instantly grabbing the attention of everyone else who was on the comms. It wasn’t as gruff as he usually sounded, in fact it almost sounded like… he was trying not to laugh?

“Did you get gassed by Joker?” Dick asked before Jason got a chance to respond. “Need backup?”

“No,” Batman responded, sounding a little more composed. “Not a rogue. But Hood, I need you to join me at my location as soon as possible.”

Finally getting the chance to talk, Jason responded a little warily; “Sure, B. Wait,” he blinked at the location that was sent to him. “Isn’t that where my bike is parked?”

Batman didn’t respond at first, only the sound of labored breathing— again, as if he was trying not to laugh. “Just get here, Hood.”

Sighing, but not too mad since the night had been fairly quiet so far, Jason decided to humor the old man and head over. When he could see the cape-clad back of Batman, he easily leapt over the last roof and sauntered over.

“Okay, B,” he had his thumbs tucked in his pockets as he drawled. “What’s the issue?”

Batman was grinning. As in, actually showing amusement. And he just pointed down, straight at Hood’s bike.

Jason rolled his eyes under his helmet, turning to look. At first he didn’t see anything amiss, until he saw movement and looked harder. Oh. Oh, holy shit.

“Is that a kid?”

“Yep,” Batman’s grin grew.

“Is she… stealing my tires?” Hood was so, so glad he wore a helmet that hid his expression. Because… wow.

“Yep,” Batman finally lost his composure, chuckling. “This seems like Karma, don’t you think?”

“And you just watched her so you could rub it in,” Jason groaned, throwing his head back in exasperation. Of course he would. Nobody knew it (except the other heroes who knew him) but Batman was a petty little jerk when he wanted to be. He bought the whole Daily Planet just to spite Clark, for crying out loud.

“Don’t adopt her,” Batman said as he stood up, patting Red Hood’s shoulder. “It looks like she’s almost done.”

“Shit,” Jason hissed, looking down to see that she was, actually, very close to being done. She had already had one tire completely free by the time he had arrived, and now she was only seconds away from getting the other one completely free.

He took a quick assessment— she was tiny, and really thin. Definitely a street kid, he thought, though he didn’t recognize her. He knew most of the street kids that stole to get by, nowadays, which meant she must have been fairly new. But even though she seemed to know what she was doing, her small frame made her take longer unscrewing the tires than it normally would have taken. Sure that she wasn’t a threat by any stretch of the imagination, he jumped down. His plan had been to startle her a little by showing up out of nowhere, but he didn’t want to scare her too badly. Just make her jump a little.

But he had underestimated her, it seemed. Without wasting a second, she jumped up and swung her tire iron at his knee. He cursed, she was a lot faster than her had been expecting. He was able to move so that the weapon only clipped the side of his knee, his knee pad thankfully taking the worst of it. She still hit hard enough to make him stumble and hiss in pain though, which was an accomplishment.

That’s when she abandoned her weapon and her tires, darting to try and escape only for Batman to drop down and block her escape. Though really, it was the grin Batman had that scared the girl most of all, apparently, making her slowly back away from him.

“Please stop smiling,” she begged with a faint French accent to her words. “It is not natural.”

That made Red Hood laugh, already recovered and right behind her. He plopped a gloved hand on her head.

“I know, it’s creepy right?” He joked. “What’cha doin’ stealing my tires, kid? I kinda need them to drive anywhere,” he was careful to keep his voice light and devoid of any anger. He wasn’t really upset, all told. It would be hypocritical of him if he was.

She looked between the two vigilantes for a moment, clear intelligence behind those bright blue eyes as she seemed to consider something. Suddenly she pulled away from Red Hood and stepped away from his reach, straightening up and trying to look tall.

“My name is Marinette Dupain-Cheng,” she said as firmly as she could. “My father was Tom Dupain, he was killed in a mugging three months ago. We were living in a house that our family friend leant to us after my mother’s death six months ago, and we moved here from Paris. I haven’t been able to contact him, and the police… I don’t trust them,” she admitted, clearly seeing this as the chance she had been waiting for. “I have been living on the streets since my father died. I am sorry for trying to steal your tires, Monsieur Red Hood. But it was a risk I had to take.”

“Did you expect us to catch you?” He asked, crossing his arms as he re-evaluated the girl. She was a lot stronger than he had assumed earlier, both physically and mentally. She seesawed her hand to indicate ‘kinda’.

“Even if you didn’t, I could make good money off your tires,” she justified with a shrug. “To me, I would win either way.”

“Who is your family friend? Can he help you now, take you in?” Batman asked, moving forward and kneeling down to be closer to Marinette’s height. Neither he nor Jason had missed the part where she was an orphan, but they had expected that considering what they had caught her doing. And they both knew that she wasn’t likely to take any apologies they tried to offer very well. It was best not to show pity, or she might get angry.

Marinette frowned. “... Our family friend is Jagged Stone. He lets me call him Uncle Jagged,” she told them, clearly expecting the disbelieving grunts they gave. “I mean it! You can call him, he might even be looking for me! I—“

“We know,” Hood assured her, now kneeling down as well. Man, she was short. “Calm down, we know you’re telling the truth. Jagged has made several public announcements about his missing honorary niece, we just didn’t recognize your name right away. And Jagged doesn’t have access to very many pictures of you, those he does have the Mayor isn’t allowing him to show because that spineless jackass—“

“Language, Hood.”

“—Cares more about keeping bad press off the air than finding a kid, even if it’s a world famous rockstar who’s asking. That’s probably why you haven’t heard anything, the mayor’s keeping it off the radio and not many reporters are brave enough to take the story and get on his bad side.”

“Oh…” Marinette took a deep breath, fighting the tears that were threatening to rise up. “He has been looking…” she sniffled, curling in on herself a little. “Can you take me to him?”

“I think we can do that,” Batman agreed, standing up. “I’ll contact him. Red Hood, can you handle everything here until I give you a place to meet up with Jagged Stone?”

Jason nodded. “No problem, B. Come on, little rabid pixie. Step one of gettin’ you back to your uncle is to help me fix my bike back up.”

Marinette sighed, shoulders dropping. “All my hard work, undone…” she playfully complained. But in the end she didn’t argue or fight against it, she just sat down and helped him reattach his tires.

All the while, Jason’s family kept teasing him over the comms. Clearly they were also thoroughly amused by the cosmic display of karma.

“...Monsieur Hood,” Marinette asked once they were done repairing the motorcycle and he had given her his too-big extra helmet. He tilted his head a bit to show he was listening. She squirmed. “Can… can we stop by my hideout? I have something really important I have to get.”

Jason smiles gently under his mask. She might not have been a street kid for very long, but she really did bring back some memories for him. He got on his bike and held a hand out to her.

“Sure thing kid. Wanna grab something to eat after? Can’t have a reunion on an empty stomach.”

She gave him a lopsided smile— not quite overjoyed, but definitely hopeful and thankful. Maybe this was the end of her streak of bad luck, she could only hope.

“Only if you don’t mind, Monsieur Hood,” she agreed before taking his hand and letting him help her onto the bike.

“No skin off my back, pixie,” he assured her. Then they were off. He followed her directions until they got to an abandoned building about three miles away, not in a good part of town at all but at least not in crime alley. Marinette easily led him through the building, skirting around other piles of ratty blankets and up broken stairs until they got to the badly-maintained top floor. She led him over to an almost invisible door in the concrete wall that pulled out to reveal what was probably a broom closet once upon a time. It was crowded with what looked like junk and empty boxes, along with a few blankets and two or three changes of clothes that were clearly her’s. A few belongings scattered around— a book, a small pink purse, and… Marinette came out of the pile of mess holding what had clearly been a very carefully hidden box. She also grabbed the purse and slung it over her shoulder, but didn’t seem worried about anything else.

Jason frowned at the box. It wasn’t that big, but it was clearly made of old wood. There were intricate carvings that were painted pink, in a symbol that was itching at the back of his mind. He recognized that symbol, but from where?

“Ready to go, kid?” He asked as he thought about it, getting a nod from Marinette. Twenty minutes later they were at a Batburger, sitting in a shaded booth that couldn’t be seen from the street.

She never let the box out of her sight. She kept it on the seat next to her, and Jason noticed that she tried to keep one hand on it at all times. But when she spoke, now her French accent stood out to him even more than before. But why—?

And then it clicked. Paris. Hawkmoth. Ladybug, Chat Noir, magic artifacts called Miraculous. Wonder Woman had raised a fuss when the heroes disappeared, declaring that something was wrong but she couldn’t put her finger on what. Then the magic users they trusted were called in, and returned from Paris with the grim news that the former Guardian of those artifacts had activated a failsafe and passed the guardianship on to someone else while erasing his own memories at the same time. But nobody knew who he could have passed it on to, so Batman had been given the green light to do all the research he and his team could into the Miraculous box to try and help track it down.

And here it was. The carvings were in pink now, which might have been the “cosmetic change” that Constantine had mentioned might happen when the box changed guardians. He had found the box full of super powerful magical artifacts… in the hands of a newly orphaned street kid who couldn’t have been older than fourteen at best.

What the hell?

“...” Red hood reached into his pocket and pulled out an old receipt and a sharpie. He scrawled on the back of the receipt and handed to Marinette. The girl was halfway into a bite of her burger when he did, and blinked at him owlishly before swallowing and cautiously reaching out to grab it. She frowned at the numbers scrawled there.

“What’s this?” She asked.

“My contact info,” he explained. “I won’t ask questions about why you have that box,” he watched her instantly stiffen but continued as casually as he could; “but it doesn’t matter. You can call me if you ever need help with anything, kid. Help with that box, help if you get in trouble in Gotham again, or even if you’re having a bad day. You can call me for whatever, got it? I don’t care if you think it’s stupid, if you can’t talk to anyone else in your life you can always call or text me and I’ll do whatever I can. Got it?”

“...” Marinette sniffled for a second and looked down at the table in silence for a second. “... what if I want your motorcycle?” she joked, but the watery tone of her voice gave her away.

Jason laughed, patting her head. “I need my bike, but we can talk about getting you your own once you are old enough to get a license. You almost done? Bats says that Jagged is ready to meet you, I can take you to him right now.”

“Yeah, lets go!” she was newly energized and shoved the last bite of burger into her mouth greedily. “And Red Hood?” She asked as they headed out to where he had parked.

“Yeah, kid?”

“Thanks.”

—*—*—*—*—*

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Some time ago, you sold your soul to the Devil. He just gave it back and asked you for a favor.

There’s really no good time to open your front door and find a demon standing on your doormat, but five minutes before you’re supposed to leave for work is an especially bad time. 

Of course, no-one else would know that the Devil - or a demon who claimed to be the Biblical Satan, I had no way of knowing for sure - was on my doorstep. He’s wearing a discreet grey suit, which is honestly much more suitable than the flashy black number with the cape he was wearing last time we met. Still wearing the same face, thought. 

“I was under the impression,” I say slowly, “that my deal was concluded.” 

I suppose everyone has what they feel like pressing reasons for selling their souls. The life of a loved one is a common one. I was careful with my bargain - health, wealth and happiness for all of my children for the period of their natural lives. I wasn’t going to blow my entire immortal soul on just one of them, and then see another one get sick.

“It is,” the demon calling himself Lucifer says slowly. “But I have come to offer you a new bargain.” 

I raise my eyebrows. “For what? You already have full post-expiry rights to my immortal soul, subject to fulfilment of all conditions of our contract.” 

“And I’m willing to return those… post-expiry rights to you, in exchange for… a favour.” He actually looks embarrassed. I didn’t think demons could get flustered. 

“A favour.” I look at my watch. “I have to get to work. Will this favour take long?” 

“Yes, it will.” He looks around, looking more flustered than ever. “When would be a… good time, then?” 

I check my watch again. “If you can get through it in half an hour, I can fit you in at eleven. If it’s going to take longer, you’ll have to wait until after work.” 

“I remember you as being more accommodating,” he says dryly. 

“I remember that last time we met, I was the one who wanted something.” 

“You don’t want your soul back?” 

“I don’t know yet. I don’t know what the price is going to be.” I step out, closing the door behind me. “I’ll tell you what. Meet me outside my office at six. I suppose that under the circumstances, I could give you the courtesy of a free consultation.” 

Keep reading

Shots Fired

So I’m just going to go ahead and apologize for this in advance. My brain has decided it doesn’t want to concentrate on any of my current WIPs and keeps throwing new ideas at me. This may or may not be a one shot, but I’m hoping that writing some of the other ideas will let me get back to the rest of my in progress fics. So, yeah here goes nothing.

“Bruce Wayne said what to you?!” Adrien winced at Mari’s tone. The sheer rage in it was enough to make most people duck and run. Unfortunately he didn’t have that option unless he wanted her to commit murder.

“He was just being honest. I’d rather deal with that than the brush offs, false promises, and fear I get from everyone else.” He wasn’t prepared for the fierce hug Mari pulled him into but he automatically went boneless against her. Ever since his father had been unmasked and they’d revealed identities, Mari became insanely protective of him. Very few people had stuck with him, period, but their bond was different. No one else knew about the Miraculous and their Guardian so he was the only one she could confide in, and she was the only one he could talk to about what he’d been through as Chat Noir.

“You need to hire a new head designer and show all those assholes what a huge mistake they made.” His head was still buried against her shoulder but he pulled back to give her a dry look.

“I’ve been trying. No one is willing to ruin their career by working with me.” The look he got in return said she thought he was an idiot.

“I happen to know of a talented up and coming and connected designer you haven’t bothered to ask who would love to help you rebrand.” That couldn’t be right. He’d contacted everyone in the industry. She just looked more annoyed at his confusion and it finally clicked.

“Mari, I’m not about to destroy your career before it really starts. Beside which, you’ve got more than enough on your plate without getting pulled into my mess.” She had the audacity to roll her eyes at him.

“You need to look at this as a businessman instead of a friend, Chaton. I’m already known for being unconventional and you want to move away from high fashion. It’s the perfect partnership to attract a younger market and we already know we work well together. Besides, worst case scenario we tank, I become Jagged’s personal designer full time, and you can be my PA.”

That… actually made a lot of sense. Mari had been moving away from the traditional fashion world ever since Jagged started commissioning her. After what happened with his father she had just as much reason, just as much right, to dismantle everything he’d built and turn it into something he’d hate. Something that was uniquely them. Just thinking of the aneurysm it would cause Gabriel in prison was enough to put a manic grin on his face.

“Let’s do this.”

—————————————————————————

There was a shrill scream coming from Tim’s office and Bruce ran in expecting to see gunmen at a minimum. Instead, it was just Tim, staring at his computer in horror.

“Please tell me you didn’t delete the presentation for this afternoon.” He couldn’t help the exasperation in his voice. After doubling down on Bruce’s own paranoia, he’d made it so that anything he deleted was irretrievable. It had already caused more than a few crises when he was sleep deprived and hit the wrong button. Tim blinked at him.

“What exactly did you say to Adrien Agreste when he suggested a collaboration?” It was his turn to blink at that. The function that conversation happened at was months ago and as far as he knew, none of his children were aware of it.

“I told him there was no point since Gabriel was likely going out of business in a few months and we could simply buy any assets and hire any employees we’re interested in.” Tim’s groan was interrupted by a thud as his head hit the desk. Knowing he wasn’t going to get an explanation, Bruce walked around the desk to look at the article Tim had been reading. It announced the rebranding of Gabriel as well as a new head designer. The designer was quoted as saying that after a discussion between Bruce Wayne and their partner, they believe there are too many fundamental differences for them to work with him, his company, or any of his subsidiaries.

“Who is JHN?” The glare Tim shot him held disgust as well as anger.

“Only the best up and coming designer who Dick and I have been trying to commission for two years now. Unfortunately no one seems to know, or be willing to divulge who they are and the only way to get a commission is to be referred by one of their current customers. That was difficult enough and now you’ve gotten us blacklisted.” The bitterness in his tone almost overrode Bruce’s shock.

“You can’t find any personal information on them?” That was more than a little concerning since they were working with the son of a terrorist. “We need to be at that launch party.” Tim scoffed.

“Good luck with that. Pretty sure we’re not on the guest list.”

—————————————————-

Marinette had a streak of pettiness in her that rarely had a chance to surface. When she suggested to Adrien that they invite the Waynes to the launch as a sign that there were no hard feelings, he hadn’t questioned it. The poor, sweet boy had no idea what she was planning, but if things went well she’d be eviscerating Bruce Wayne in person. It wasn’t until they were waiting backstage for Jagged to announce them that Adrien seemed to catch on to her plotting.

“You and Jagged don’t have anymore surprises planned for me do you?” She let out a giggle at that. Jagged had insisted on surprising Adrien with a brand new grand piano to celebrate the launch. When Gabriel had gone to jail, Adrien sold just about everything to donate to charities for Akuma victims, but he’d missed playing far more than he’d thought. He ended up getting an electric keyboard, which Jagged had called sacrilegious.

“I promise that was the only thing we planned together. I will be just as shocked as you at whatever he says before he introduces us.” Adrien let out an amused snort.

“You think he’ll explain how you got your moniker?” She could only roll her eyes at that.

“I hope not, since I’ll have to put out a press release to explain what actually happened.” She loved the man but he embellished the story more every time he told it. “Penny promised me she would try to dissuade him if he brought it up, but we’re hoping he forgets about it.”

“You are the lucky one.” Adrien proved to be right on that. Jagged rambled about how they were two of his favorite people, but didn’t mention that at all. Granted, she zoned out a little bit until she heard their names.

“So, it is my honor to introduce Adrien and Marinette Dupain-Cheng!” Marinette grinned wide at the name as they walked on stage. Not many people knew that her parents had adopted Adrien after Gabriel went to jail. The legal proceedings were sealed for the safety of everyone involved.

After that it was pictures and questions from reporters. She got to tell them the real story behind her design alias. She took too long to come up with one so Jagged started calling her JHN, for Jagged’s honorary niece, and it stuck.

———————————————————————

Adrien had lost Mari in the crowd and that worried him. He could tell she was up to something and the fact that she’d deliberately ditched him to do it was concerning. He was trying to find her when two of Bruce Wayne’s sons cornered him.

“Congratulations on you launch, and getting possibly the most talented designer in the business. I’m Dick and this is Tim.” Dick was being too cheerful for it to be genuine and it immediately put his back up. Before he could give one of his polite, rehearsed replies, Tim spoke up.

“Yeah, how’d you manage that by the way?” His tone implied that there was something nefarious going on and Adrien couldn’t help the frustrated sigh that left his mouth. Everyone expected him to turn out like his father and he was just tired of it.

“Since you won’t believe anything I say anyway you should just ask Mari. I’d pick a different tone though. She really doesn’t like people making assumptions about me.” He’d had to ban her from business meetings after she threw a stapler at someone.

“How dare you, you bastard!” His head whipped around at Mari’s yell and he found her squaring off with Bruce Wayne.

“Oh shit.” He took off running, only partly aware that Dick and Tim were on his heels. He managed to get in front of Mari just as she was about to lunge at the man. “Mari, stop. You can’t attack Bruce Wayne.” He meant to sound assertive but it just came out exasperated.

“The hell I can’t! He basically accused me of having Stockholm syndrome and you of holding me hostage.” Adrien couldn’t say he was surprised given the rumors going around. He really wished the man had accused him directly instead of going through Mari though. Before he could try to calm her down Mr. Wayne decided it was a good idea to continue.

“How do you explain the partnership then? Let alone the marriage? He’s just using your name for his own personal gain.” Adrien shared a confused look with Mari. Marriage? Surely he didn’t think… Mari started giggling and he couldn’t hold back his own laughter. They ended up barely propping each other up and gasping for air. It obviously annoyed Mr. Wayne but his sons just looked confused. Mari recovered first and he decided to just get out of her way.

“First of all, there is no marriage. We share the same last name because we’re siblings. Something you of all people should understand given your adoption fetish.” The boys both had ‘oh shit’ looks on their faces but Mr. Wayne’s expression didn’t change. “Second, the partnership was my idea after you told Adrien you were basically waiting to loot his company.” He tried to sputter out a denial but she cut him off. “Save it. I don’t care who you think you are or how much money you have. No one gets to my family without going through me first.” Another boy with a white streak in his hair gave an amused snort and Adrien motioned frantically at him from behind his sister. Yes, Mari didn’t necessarily look intimidating but she was fierce and fought dirty. “Laugh it up spot. You all refuse to even look past who Adrien’s father is so I’ll do the same and assume you’re all judgmental assholes like yours. Let’s go.” Adrien shot an apologetic grimace at them as Mari pulled him away.

“Did she just call me spot?” The boy didn’t seem to know if he should be amused or insulted.

“Damnit Bruce! Now we’ll never get a commission.” Tim’s words brought an amused smirk to Mari’s lips and Adrien could practically hear the wheels turning in her head. He honestly felt sorry for Bruce Wayne. The man had no idea he’d fired the first shots in a war he was destined to lose.