I Dream Of Sleeping.

wasn’t expecting this

but arent you glad it hapened

its ears ITS EARS ITS EARS ITS EARS

floomph

oh my god

oh my god

CNN has officially snapped 

This isn’t right. You’re supposed to be with me!

The actual definition of what some guys think when the girl says “no”. “OMG I did this and that for YOU, you must date me!” Hell no. If I don’t like you, I won’t date you. This movie is fucking golden.

YES CAN WE TALK ABOUT THIS MOVIE

Megamind has the ultimate example of a “nice guy”, Hal, who liked Roxanne - and he was clear about it. He “complimented” several things to her in the beginning, which guess what - were not flattering at all, but downright creepy, so really, it was no wonder Roxanne didn’t like him.

But after he gets his superpowers, he expects her to - he expects to be rewarded for being the “good guy”, despite the fact that he hasn’t really done anything for her. When she rejects him and later finds out that she had dated Megamind for a time, he’s furious that she would date the “bad guy” when he is the “good guy”.

Yet despite Megamind being “bad” and Hal being “good”, it’s Megamind who respects what she wants - when she told him to back off, he backed off, and then later apologized, while Hal was legit going to kill her for rejecting him. So really, who is the good guy?

I have seriously never seen a more frightening movie villain than Hal.

Hal is basically what every single MRA and ‘Nice Guy’ in the world would be like if they ever got superpowers…

This POST is goddamn golden. I’ve got a shitload of reasons to see this film. Films that tackle these issues no matter what they look like are my fucking favourite.

I worked with toddlers and pre schoolers for three years. Sometimes I accidentally slip and tell a friend to say bye to an inanimate object (“say bye bus!”) & occasionally they unthinkingly just do it.

I’m glad there’s a teacher version of “accidentally called teacher ‘mom’”

when I worked at Medieval Times occasionally I would slip in real life and call people “my lord”

One time during family prayer, dad began: “our father who art in heaven, American Airlines, how can I help you?”

One time my dad went to the White Castle drive-thru and the lady (who was supposed to say ‘Welcome to White Castle, what’s your crave?’) asked, “Welcome to White Castle, what’s your problem?”

She apologized profusely while my dad proceeded to lose his shit laughing.

Yesterday I went to Wendy’s and the girl said “Welcome to McDonalds” and then just sighed

Somebody in the elevator asked me what floor I lived on, and I answered “please open your books to page eight”, and we just kind of stared at each other, blinking.

i work retail full time and my script gets frequently messy - ill ask the same question twice, or say “$2.60 is your total” while handing back their change, or say “how are you doing today?” instead of “have a good day!” like name it ive bungled it

but anyway, this lady came thru my line buying a book and the review on the front said: “few books are well written, fewer still are important, and this book manages to be both”

as i handed her the bag i was trying to say “thanks, youre all set” and instead my brain mashed up the review and i said “thanks, youre important”

there was this short pause in which i tried to figure out what the fuck id just said. she blinked and then said “oh thank you! youre important too!”

the real kicker was one of my coworkers. when i was relating this story later his response was “at least you said something NICE. last week i accidentally combined ‘youre welcome’ and ‘no problem’ into ‘youre a problem’”

one time, since I used to work as a daycare teacher with preschoolers, i was on my college campus in my gym, and someone was running in the weight room and tripped over a machine and fell, and instead of offering to help, I just stared and said, “This is why we use our walking feet.” we both sat there for a while until the guy nodded and said, “yeah, okay, i should’ve done that.”

I’ve spent a good chunk of time working in kitchens, so I still will reflexively say shit like “behind” and “coming around” as I maneuver through spaces and around people.

Which, actually, not such a bad thing; I’m a big guy and can come across as imposing pretty easily. The position calls can help defuse that, and also help avoid collisions.

Less good is the time my brain was half functional and I let slip a “coming with a knife” while grocery shopping. THAT took some explaining.

I work in an office and send tens of emails to customers every day. Once my mum asked me to send her a train ticket I had bought for her. I emailed her “Hello mum, as agreed, please find attached the ticked you requested. Thanks, Alex”

i worked as a camp counselor, and i would have the kids tap somewhere on my legs if they needed something because im a pretty tall dude. today asked my cat if he needed something.

I have woken up in a cold sweat saying “is that for here or to go?”

Every time a friend thanks me, and I respond with “gladly” or “my pleasure”, I die completely 1000% inside

I work at a plasma donation center. When processing donors, we call them by name, they walk up to the counter, and then we ask for their name and donor number. One time, instead of saying “Robert” I hollered “Name and donor number!?” into a full waiting room. Three people started announcing their names and donor numbers before we all realized that I fucked up.

In college, I was a barista at Borders (remember Borders, you guys?!) I once drove through Taco Bell on my way home after a shift. When the cashier said, “okay, that’ll be $5.46!” I cheerfully responded, “Do you have a Borders rewards card?”

I have dealt with so many difficult customers over the years that I used to angrily call my dog “Sir” when I was mad at him.

My first job was at my nearest Panera, and after coming home from a ten-hour Sunday morning shift, I was exhausted; but when my mom called me to come downstairs, instead of replying in the grumpy teenagerish tone I usually would, I said in my cheeriest, fakest voice, “Not a problem at all, let me just check with my manager!” before realizing my mistake.

my coworker went to back up the cash registers one time and she had been at customer service right before. when we finish with a customer we have to sometimes get the attention of the next person and will shout “i can get the next person in line!” but instead of saying that she yelled “HI WHAT CAN I HELP YOU WITH” to everyone in the general area

I have told my dog “no thank you” so many times after working at a preschool

a couple of times i’ve gotten stuck in a hello how are you good how are you good how are you loop with an equally tired Fred Meyer’s cashier after a long shift but the best time was after a 10 to 10 post-holidays after they told me my total, I asked if they would like a bag today and after a confused few seconds they were like, “no… I have the bags”

Worked in a gallery where we asked people to take off their backpacks in order not to accidentally damage paintings. So when I went to the shop later and saw a guy in the line in front of me, I told him he had to remove his backpack. He probably thought I was politely trying to rob him.

The other day they had me working with softserve and fried dough. I was burned out because I kept bouncing back and forth between the fryer and my register and these people had like, 8 things in their order. We get to the ice cream part of the order, and it comes in a bowl or cone. Instead of saying “Would you like the vanilla in a bowl or cone?” I said “Would you like the bowl in a vanilla or cone?” And we all stopped and had to think that through as my cart runner is staring me down like “tf are you doing?”

I work at Hardees and we have to yell “thank you” whenever we’re told to do something because of how loud the kitchen is.

One morning, my mom hollered at me to wake up, and half-asleep me yells at full volume,

“THANK YOU”

i work with dogs, and i have to be a bit strict with them sometimes in order to keep fights from breaking out. recently, while making tea, the kettle started boiling sooner than i wanted, so without thinking i turned around sharply, pointed my finger at it and stared it down, and said, “Bad boy! You need to wait!” needless to say i was very glad i was alone

I know I’ve reblogged this a billion times but I’ve worked retail for 8 years and these things are never not funny.

I work with horses and whenever someone’s driving too fast I’ll say stuff like “whoa” and I’ve tried to click to a car because that’s a cue for a horse to go faster.

My aunt was a kindergarten teacher and when she was trying to gather everyone at a family reunion for prayer she called “One two three, eyes on me” and then exclaimed “oh! It works on adults!”

These teacher ones show that we never really grew up.

Telling kids that a cop will arrest you as a disciplinary tool, then expecting kids to tell a cop if something bad is happening to them, must be confusing as hell.

Okay but lets illustrate how much white privileged is involved with this story. The weapons this little demon used to kill Grant Nelson were stolen from Walmart. She walked into Walmart, grabbed a machete and a knife, and then just casually walked out the door without anyone attempting to stop her. You get a box of tampons from Walmart and you don’t have it in a bag, they wanna check your receipt. Becky the Sociopath walked out unchecked with literal weapons.

Then she had time to wait outside for the uber this poor man drove to come pick her up. Then she got in his back seat and stabbed him multiple times, pushed him out onto the street, and stole the car. He was able to tell the police who stabbed him before he died. She then crashes the car and is found by the police hiding behind a tree covered in blood. The police try to gently coerce her into dropping her fucking blood covered knives and when she refuses do they shoot her eight times? Oh noooo Lizzy Borden gets tazed and brought in unharmed.

Like just think about the stories that have come out these past two weeks alone. The unarmed black teenager who were literally murdered based on vague suspicion and this girl actually kills someone and is still standing.

The white girl who stole weapons from Walmart and killed an Uber driver was taken alive.

The white guy who took weapons to a convention and planned to kill Jason David Frank and multiple police officers was taken alive.

The white guy who murdered two men who had tried to defend the Muslim women he was harassing was taken alive.

Don’t tell me police had to kill Tamir Rice or Michael Brown or ANYONE else out of caution or fear for their safety. Not when white people who are legitimate threats, even direct threats to police, are routinely taken alive.

Characters saying goodbye to The Child: *strokes his ear*

the bioluminescent noctiluca scintillans – an algae known otherwise as sea sparkle – of australia’s jervis bay. (click pic or link for credit x, x, x)

alien

(via Pinterest)