your man doesn’t have the mental strength to caramelize onions
your man thinks it takes 5-10 minutes to caramelize onions
Who’s fucking carmelizing onions?
Have you sociopaths forgotten that apples exist?
do you think caramelizing onions is putting caramel on onions
your man thinks caramelizing onions is putting caramel on onions
currently craving for some mean older man who’s stronger and bigger than me to just pick me up and use me as his personal fleshlight to take out all of his anger and stress on. have him rape me and abuse my tight little cunt for as much as he wants, while he uses his hand(s) to choke me till I almost pass out. All of this while I cry, telling him that I’m sorry if I made him angry and begging him to stop. but he knows I’m lying and I’m just a dumb little whore, who obviously likes this; otherwise, why else would I be moaning and constantly cumming on his cock like one?
I don’t want, I NEED an older man to use me & to show me how my body can do things its never done before.. train me into being such a dirty whore that i get needy and wet for the nastiest shit.
Send me to Mars with party supplies before next august 5th
No guys you don’t understand.
The soil testing equipment on Curiosity makes a buzzing noise and the pitch of the noise changes depending on what part of an experiment Curiosity is performing, this is the way Curiosity sings to itself.
So some of the finest minds currently alive decided to take incredibly expensive important scientific equipment and mess with it until they worked out how to move in just the right way to sing Happy Birthday, then someone made a cake on Curiosity’s birthday and took it into Mission control so that a room full of brilliant scientists and engineers could throw a birthday party for a non-autonomous robot 225 million kilometres away and listen to it sing the first ever song sung on Mars*, which was Happy Birthday.
This isn’t a sad story, this a happy story about the ridiculousness of humans and the way we love things. We built a little robot and called it Curiosity and flung it into the star to go and explore places we can’t get to because it’s name is in our nature and then just because we could, we taught it how to sing.
That’s not sad, that’s awesome.
*this is different from the first song ever played on mars (Reach For The Stars by Will.I.Am) which happened the year before, singing is different from playing
This is humanity
Happy Birthday, Curiousity.
Happy birthday, Curiosity.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY CURIOSITY!!!!!
luring her in with his charismatic, painted face, only to ruthlessly torture her and devour her flesh. (meaning breast and her puss)
Well yes, you are correct haha, it’s implied to be sexual
Juggalo vibe
Dumb idea #146: TTRPG campaign where everyone hazza make a character based onna LOLcow. KingCobraJFS is a mage that replaces mana after drinking, Cyraxx is a goblin barbarian with a strength of 2, Daniel Larson izza wererat rogue, so on so om.
I hate my fuckin cringe self
Do you know of any good/funny people on YouTube who cover cyrax? He's fucking hilarious but the lore seems so scattered compared to christory. The movie he made where he fights his own clone or whatever had me full on cackling lmao
kiwi tapes!! Audentum. Smokeymcc just had to private all his vids but theyll be back soon.
umm root dr thorn?? I tjink is his name. Has a like 40 part timeline on him. Ill post links.
Basedshaman too, buff mf
For the last like 3 years I’ve been falling down a lolcow rabbit hole that started with Chrischan and has lead me to DSP, WingsofRedemption, KingCobraJFS, Cyraxx, Ethan Ralph, Daniel Larson, etc.. what has my life become
Currently fixated on the concept of my dom forcefully breeding my needy holes. I’m drenched just thinking about him forcefully ramming his grown cock into my tight cunt without even giving me a warning. He’d start off gentle and soft, assuring me that he’s just putting in the tip but then roughly thrusts himself in all the way after feeling my tight hole clench around him. I wanna see him go from gentle and reassuring boyfriend to completely abusing and manhandling my whore holes without any mercy. Im practically arching my back at the thought of daddy pulling my hair, throwing me around and into any degrading position he wants me in and calling me his good little slut while using me as his personal cocksleeve.
Rusty Nail x fem!reader
Haven’t wrote this guy before but I wanna try it :3. It’s based off this.
Contains: I’m going to have Rusty and the reader about the same age (Rusty: 26, reader: 23). In this au, he’s just starting to kill.
Tw: light stocking, mention of murder, blood
Tag: @sketchy-rosewitch, @fluffy-little-demon, @poir0t-houck, @waxxl0ver, @crumb @ninakuli, @whimsyvixen, @roadkillerx
Part 1
*deranged monkey sounds* MY BLOODY VALENTINE... *more deranged monkey sound* HARRY WARDEN... OOO OO OOO AAH AAH- (don't mind the tags, I went on a rant...)
Don't get fooled by the kinky stuff. All I wanna do is snuggle down close to someone in bed and sleep and feel warm and safe
