I’m depressed as fuck

That’s all

Nothing artistic or profound

I just feel like I want to die

And I worry about my older brother

I miss him so much, but he’s not the person I grew up with

Drugs destroyed him

And I worry about my mother

And my little brother

I wish I could do more for them

I wish I could help

I wish I were less of a fucking failure

My insecurity is crippling and overwhelming

My jealousy is unhinged and unacceptable

My inability to trust the people I love is devistating and consuming

My ego is torn by self-doubt and self-loathing

My body image is disgusting and incorrigible

I cannot feel that I am good enough

I will not feel that I am attractive enough

I do not feel that I am successful enough

I constantly compare myself to others; I fixate on my shortcomings while highlighting their triumphs

I see only where I fail and they succeed

I feel constantly that my partner may decide that she would prefer someone else

Someone more attractive

More successful

Less insecure

Less jealous

More capable of loving

And being loved

Why did she like his picture

Why does she talk to him so much

Why did she close her phone when I sat down

Where is she going

Who is she with

When will she be back

Why am I not invited

Why wasn’t I included

Why didn’t you tell me about the plans

I’ve become toxic

I’ve let my insecurity turn me into a monster

I’m selfish

I’m weak

I’m nothing

And I’m driving away a woman who I know would never betray me

Who I know would never hurt me

Who has pushed me to be a more present father and a better person

Who has supported me when I had more money than I knew what to do with and when I was near broke

Who has never given me a reason to not trust her

I wish I didn’t feel that I’ll never be enough

Because if I continue to feel that

Then I never will be

Ion trust nobody. Not a single soul. Family, friends, SO, none ah dat

Everybody lies if it fits their agenda.

I see people in long term relationships gettin down on the side every day.

I see homies fuck their friends ex with no regard

Where’s the boundary?

People gonna do what tf they want, that’s facts.

And if they can have their cake and eat it too, so to speak, you goddamn bet they will

Fuck ur ex then dap u up

Suck a dick then come kiss u

Hahahahahelllllllll nawwwwwww

Fuck a small circle it’s you vs everybody