[Scene: Me, passed out on an operating table. A Doctor and Nurse stand beside me]

Doctor: Nurse Bussy, we need two gallons of cum stat, or this boy will die!

Nurse: Doctor masc4masc, we ran out yesterday…

Doctor: Sweet Lorde, if that’s the case, then there is only one thing we can do now.

Nurse: You don’t mean…?

Doctor: Yes, code bukkake is our last and only hope.

Nurse: *soft gasp*

Doctor: *Unbuckling his belt* We must act quick, Nurse Bussy. Gather every person with a penis in this building and have them cum here ASAP!

Nurse: Yessir, I’m on it! *Runs out of the room*

Doctor: *Cranking his meat* I promise you, boy, you will not die under my-UGHNFG FUCKFKCUCK NGHUGH *Cums into an IV bag* You will not die under my watch!

Me leaving the hospital after a successful life-saving cum transfusion:

love watching straight people’s reaction to how we knew someone was gay because it’s always stupid things like “i asked her where she got that button up shirt and she said the men section of zara” or “she got into a heated debate about werewolves and only a gay person would be that passionate about werewolves” and straight people’s wack ‘he has a lisp’ gaydar cannot comprehend this level of secret language and just look at us like

but that’s none of my business 🤷💅

i hate to add to the list of posts like this bc i understand that ppl are in worse off situations but i need help with my living situation. i moved to my current space back in march trying to get away form an awful apartment complex but i basically took a sleigh ride into a shitty neighborhood and things have been a shit sandwich ever since (not that no one else is having a difficult year).

in april i had an abortion during a HIGH stressful time while working a dispensary/retail during covid, in may i learned that my stepmom whom I'd been estranged from for two years (toxic, cut off ties) died of cancer; no one told me she was sick and my dad didn't even call me to tell me that she died. And then in July my home was broken into while we were sleeping and its just been mental/emotional hell. (we were not physically harmed, intrusion is just incredibly violating)

my husband is out of work and his unemployment is frozen due to fraud in our state and idk when it will be fixed (anyone in any state rn can tell u it's IMPOSSIBLE to get a hold of someone on the phone for unemployment help). i did find a job at a grow facility but it is an hour and 40 min away from where i live.

im looking to better my living situation and get a place closer to my job by October but i need help, any help i can possibly get. if u have $1-5 to spare it would be beneficial, I can't ask for any more than that... and even if u just share this post it would be greatly appreciated

venmo @Deja-Johnson91

paypal - paypal.me/dejaj6

cashapp - $dejaj6

just found out today during an oil change (THANK U TO EVERYONE WHO HAS SENT $ bc it helped pay for it) that due to heavy mileage future maintenance fees for the car will equal around $800...

plz rb this post... im transparent, flattened and a bit desperate

SIGNAL BOOST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dark academia things you should NOT strive for:

I too want a bunch of tiny bowls to hold spices in while im cooking but who’s gonna wash them....not I

Legit it’s what happened but it’s hilarious when put like that

I think soulmates are real but they r made not found and also they are your friends

Major Networks: Kids just can’t understand complex themes and subjects. You have to dumb everything down for them...

Avatar: How about the theme no one is truly evil. Everyone can be redeemed. You always have a choice. Friendships last more than one life time... all while having the world almost burn into a fiery flame and our main protagonists having to wonder if they truly believe in all the themes I just mentioned.

Over the Garden Wall: What about having a show where it’s just big metaphor for the after life and it’s kids wondering in the grey area between life and death. Along the way they learn how to truly treat each other as brothers... and make it only slightly scarring.

Gravity Falls: I love what your doing with the sightly scarring bit but what if we adding the theme of all good things must come to an end, You don’t know everyone’s situation, and life is a mystery so go out and solve it. Also let’s add some codes for kids to crack... because they’re smart.

Steven Universe: Okay but what about the theme love conquers all but also show the hardship war and destructive love has on people and how it can hurt people even thousands of years after the fact, but it’s never too late to try and make it better... also make it have queer representation.

She-ra: See, I like what your doing with that queer representation... but what if we showed that abuse victims don’t have to continue the cycle even if it seems like they reached a point of no return, they can become better. Also show that everyone has the power to be good but not everyone will choose to be good, and you can be selfish sometimes... also let’s show an wlw that has no mentions of homophobia... because lesbians with swords.

Networks:.... what?

Pros of being an ant: you can dodge microwave beams

Cons of being an ant: there's an animal called anteater

Living like an ant in a microwave

i wish i understood this post

i know this wouldnt be the first time ive said i wanted to make merch but if i make stickers yeah?

LMAO, I love this song

"The protests are beginning to change the world."

We are all with you. We fight with you. #BlackLivesMatter

Dont give up. Keep fighting until change has happened and is secure.

I cannot stress how important it is to be intersectional about your feminism. listen to black women, listen to trans women, listen to disabled women, and please acknowledge the fact that there are different types of women who go through different types of struggles than you

Quick Reminder...

What’s Different?

That’s literally it: fewer lockdowns, closures, and stay-at-home orders, often due to political pressure.

But COVID-19 is still here. It’s still contagious. People are still getting it. People are still dying from it. Just because it’s not as prominent in the news does not mean that this 2020 story arc has concluded!

Please

Source: I am an actual contact tracer and I just got home from a very long shift where we are having to reach out to more and more and more people as they are exposed to people with positive COVID-19 tests.

Please stay safe.

if anything i’ve been seeing more and more ppl closer to my social circles lose their parents and loved ones now…

tea parties should be more common. let’s sit down and enjoy the afternoon with sum tea n lemon cookies. maybe wear pretty dresses or lovely suits or groovy overalls, yk? in the tea party, we r safe and loved. have a cookie.