magical emmisary of friendship and love

i got an instagram ad that was like “40% of your female friends shave their pubes” and it was supposed to be like you should too buy our razors but me personally i found that so inspiring. that’s less than half and with your help we can get that number even lower amen

idk who needs to hear this rn but suffering is not noble. take the tylenol

One time when I was younger I was refusing to take headache medicine and my mom said “the person who invented that medicine is probably so sad you won’t let them help you” and now every time I find myself denying medicine I just imagine the saddest scientist making those big wet eyes like “why won’t you let me help” and whoop then I take the medicine

this absolutely has to be one of my favorite gifs, its basically the wilhelm scream of explosion gifs, its everywhere i fucking love it.

My dinnar 💪💯❗💥

This is one of your worst posts yet man

Poverty Food

Visual Innuendo

You called me dirt sucking poor and told me my carrot looks like a cock

THE FIFTH ELEMENT (1997) dir. Luc Besson —costume design & original sketches by Jean Paul Gaultier

Happy one thousand notes to this tweet I stole and posted without tags because I wanted my one specific friend to see it

It's a drop in the hat. They should be asking for so much more.

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I saw a post a couple of days ago that said one of the most important things about Steven Universe, thematically, is that everybody in the core cast has done at least one completely morally unjustifiable thing, regardless of how likeable or sympathetic they are otherwise, and that this is important to understanding the show thematically. This is true. 

But it also reminded me of one other thing I really like about Steven Universe, which is that it’s the emotional-toxicity equivalent of all those posts about how cartoons have to come up with unimaginably worse forms of death and violence in the course of avoiding getting censored for depicting plausible forms of death and violence.  All of the ways in which SU characters cross those emotional and interpersonal lines are wrapped up either in their fantastic abilities or their bizarre life circumstances in a way that makes it all esoterically awful and often much more existentially horrifying than any of the real-life dynamics it’s alluding to. You’ve said nasty things to people in the heat of the moment but you’ve never shapeshifted into the guy’s dead wife to twist the knife a little more. No violation of bodily autonomy is ever gonna involve contriving a situation in which the other party will believe that it’s necessary to fuse with you, body and soul in order to do demolition work. The most toxic relationship in the world isn’t gonna involve imprisoning someone at the bottom of the ocean for several months and only emerging to participate in humanoid-sacrifice rituals. Your codependency will never last 8,000 years, be frontloaded with a faked death you’re biomechanically incapable of confessing to, and end with your partner’s suicide-by-childbirth. Your worst roommate situation will never end with one party stealing the apartment and taking it to the moon. Et al. Et al.

I don’t remember where I was going with this, precisely, (and I may have drifted sideways from the original discussion topic of crossed lines per se, but whatever.) I mean part of it’s funny because it exists in a series with tons of mundane, non-metaphorical examinations of interpersonal issues, like everything to do with Lars and Sadie, or Sour Cream and Marty. And there’s an extent to which I’m just describing how cartoons are written. But there’s something special about how Steven Universe does it. Something delightfully fucked up about it all. I think maybe part of it is that it’s a considered and embraced fucked-upedness, none of this is just an ill-considered fridge-logic by-product of something else they were trying to do. Like for every one of these, someone in the writers room probably went, “Man, this has some fucked up implications,” and then everyone would go, “Yeah!” and hi five and put it in specifically because of that. Great Show. Great show

“bro we just made a new fucking universe what do you want to do”

“i dont know… play soccer i guess.”

For previously discussed reasons, I also watched Adolesence of Utena in Japanese, but you know I had to go back to hear Outright Villainous Shiori as performed by Lisa Ortiz, mustering up as much smug energy as she possibly can with the lines “Are you surprised? [laughs] It’s a big mistake to think you’re the only one who can turn into a car. I’m a car now, too.”

While I do have some odd hobbies this recommendation is a bit much.

54.309469, -1.992410

think i found it

Bro doxxed a bathtub

tweets on my tl yesterday were really good for some reason

Sailor Moon SuperS Special: The Return of Haruka and Michiru! The Ghostly Puppet Show

autistic people of a particular flavour will master the art of expressing mundane sentiment in amusing ways because their most successful jokes as children were primarily accidental. and when you realise you have that spark of a weirdo it's just a matter of intentionality and comic linguistic optimisation to make yourself a regular sayer of things in funny ways.

Maybe you're just hot?

I mean it helps also