My moods go up and down all day long. It physically hurts.
I could be chill, happy
and then
*snap*
I feel depressed, and all I do is hide and think too much.. I’m so anxious I’m frozen.
I wanna stab myself in the chest. At least I’d feel physical pain. Even if I don’t did at least I’d feel something else than this fucking pain.
Everyone seems to be having the time of their life on Halloween and I just wanna sob and hurt myself. I shouldn’t be alive. I don’t deserve it.
TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️⚠️
I think tomorrow I won’t eat. I’ll just use my calories to drink. Recently I’ve been making the mistake of eating food. But not anymore, I don’t need it. Fuck me ive been fucking up and been slacking but not anymore 
Mental illness has ruined my fucking life, don’t ever tell me that it’s a choice
Do you know the feeling of not being allowed to move? Do you know how it feels to have to sit still, even though you have a scratch somewhere, or you have to pee really badly?
The energy in your body builds up like flames, exploding like fireworks in your body. All you want to do is just move and scratch your nose, or run to the bathroom.
But you can’t. You have to sit still. You can’t bounce your legs. You can’t move your head. You must not move.
That’s the feeling we have when we want to self-harm. The burning energy in your body may be depression, it may be anxiety, it may be something else, but all we know is that we can’t take the fireworks anymore.
So we may sit still for a while, not moving at all. But eventually, most of us can’t stand the heat anymore.
So we slash open our bodies, letting the flames out. And the sad thing is, it works well.
Only for a second, because the minute you sit still again, you can feel the fire starting again, but this time, more and more fuel is being added.
It’s the guilt you feel when you look at your mother
It’s the disgust you feel towards your abused body.
It’s the shame you feel when you walk outside in a t-shirt.
So yes, self-harm is a choice. If you call the choice between burning up inside or cutting yourself a choice.
Wouldn’t we all jump off a burning building?
Does anyone else feel like they’re completely disconnected from everyone and everything around them and like you’ll never fucking belong anywhere or is that just me?
me: i don’t mind being alone also me: *feels abandoned for no reason at all, needs constant reassurance that my presence is wanted, cannot see how anyone would want to be friends with me, is not able to focus on anything because of the intense feeling of imaginary rejection*
I want to kill myself
“I don’t know what I’m supposed to do now. I know other people have it a lot worse. I do know that, but it’s crashing in anyway…”
— Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower
Many active people (women included) eat 3000+ calories a day and stay plenty lean.
The recommended daily calorie intake is 2000 for women and 2500 for men.
The recommended daily calorie intake for weight loss is 1500 for women and 2000 for men.
A 5-year-old needs about 1400 calories or more every day.
The minimum daily calorie intake for a long-term diet without medical supervision is 1200 for women and 1800 for men. Eating less than that eventually leads to starvation mode (a real–yes, real–state of biological stress characterized by decreased metabolism, increased cortisol production, and heart, brain, organ, bone, and muscle damage).
A 2-year-old needs about 1000 calories or more every day.
Most people can’t even imagine eating 1000 calories in a day. You’ll get 1,357 Google results if you search for the exact phrase “1000 calories is way too low” or “1000 calories is way too little”…but you’ll get even more results if you Google the same phrases for 1200 calories, because few people consider dipping below 1200.
A 3-digit daily calorie intake puts you at high risk for binge-eating, slowed metabolism, bone and muscle loss, nutritional deficiencies, gastrointestinal issues, infertility, hair loss, mood swings, and depression. Oh–and sudden death.
900 calories is less than what a completely sedentary, 5'0", 80 lb, 70-year-old woman burns daily (keeping in mind that your metabolism slows with age).
A very low calorie diet, also known as a starvation diet, is 800 calories a day or less. It is prescribed by doctors to obesity patients who need to lose weight quickly, is specially formulated to be nutritionally complete, and is monitored by medical professionals to prevent sudden cardiac arrest and death. It is considered an extreme diet.
600 calories a day or less is literal starvation.
500 calories is less than the daily calorie needs of the average 1-month-old.
400 calories is less than the daily calorie needs of the average newborn.
300 calories is less than what the adult brain alone burns every day.
-Mod Lia
I just realized how deep I’m in this shit
if you have ever suffered from…
• depression
• anxiety
• eating disorder
• self-harm
• ocd
• bipolar
• feelings of guilt and hopelessness
• suicidal thoughts
can you please reblog to show support for people who also suffer. you are not alone.
honestly sometimes i forget that there are people out there who do not have anxiety or depression or chronic pain or ptsd
like that’s just so wild to me
you don’t have to fight against your brain or your body? what do you do with all that free time? explain to me what that’s like it sounds amazing
I have a plan. I want to cut more and more, the urges to do so are intense. He hid the trimmers I used a few days ago. And I'm far too exhausted to break the razor apart for a blade... so there's that. Being this actively suicidal has been strange... ER in the morning... a few more hours.
honestly fuck all the ppl that have used me. fuck you for making me feel like that’s all i’m good for. fuck you for hurting me. fuck you for damaging me. fuck you for touching me. fuck you fuck you fuck you.
don’t eat don‘t eat don’t eat don‘t eat don’t eat don‘t eat don’t eat don‘t eat don’t eat don‘t eat don’t eat don‘t eat don’t eat don‘t eat I want to die don’t eat don‘t eat don’t eat don‘t eat don’t eat don‘t eat don’t eat don‘t eat don’t eat don‘t eat don’t eat don‘t eat don’t eat don‘t eat don’t eat don‘t eat don’t eat don‘t eat don’t eat just don’t eat
