crossfaded as hell im three years old

😂DAVID BYRNE BE LIKE🤣🤣

“Letting the days go by!” 🕺 🕺 🕺 🕺        🏃‍♂️

i want a shirt that has a QR code on it for some kind of horrible malware so that if anyone ever tries to film me in public their phone will automatically scan the code and be reduced to a functionless brick

ngl i love seeing boobs. gotta be in my top ten

gods greatest punishment was putting 1 trillion cool rocks on earth and no one with eyes big enough to see them all

..ive been such a fool

thats okay ^-^ the wise man is blessed with knowledge once but the fool is blessed to learn every day

*gets scared and throws one of my cool rocks at your fourhead*

ow what the hell

dude. Benson is gonna cum in our mouths when he sees this

joker pointing to his circumcised penis voice wanna know how i got this scar

reblog for something very lgbt to happen to you on nov 5th

GOD I FUCKING;LOVE. CHARACTERS

i see this resonated with a lot of you

whip it out bro show us how soft that dick can get dude, cmon bro

newborn babies when theyre hungry and their mom isnt in the room and they think she stopped existing bc no object permanence

I'm just like all normal girls in their 20s i need lots of plushies and insane gay sex

I like to fuck around and waste time for at least ~6-10 hours per day, and let me tell you, that really puts some pressure on your schedule. you have no idea how busy I am

tumblr blog whose phone number is their username

Are u talking about me..? 🥺

woah did i just guvebirth to you

yes, I came from.your belly and i have just been introduced to a whole new world of possibilities…. what will i become..? which winding path will i take..?

i dontknow ur asking a lot can i abort you now

no offense to babys but i think if i swallowed a piece of any toy i'd be fine

Dude imagine how much you’d hate apes if a witch cursed you so that anytime you ate, anywhere from 1-3 small-medium sized monkeys or chimps would limply reach for whatever it was you were eating. Can you even imagine? What a life.

I don’t know but is this an analogy for the early stages of parenthood? Like toddlers and small children?

No I was just thinking like, what if you constantly had to deal with monkey poop fingers brushing by your chin and sometimes going into your mouth when you were eating. And like climbing on the counter to get away from them, and like sometimes they’d make you drop your hoagie on the sidewalk and you’d do a Charlie Brown wail. Like you would be so miserable. It’s such a good idea for a curse. And what’re you gonna do? Hurt the monkeys? Then you’re a guy who harms animals. You’d be ostracized and feel awful. Besides the minute you stop eating they run away. They’re gone. I could perfectly imagine monkeys existing for this sole purpose.