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perfect mirror of my inner psyche

@kodicraft / kodicraft.tumblr.com

~ She/Her ~ Autistic programming nerd Technical blog at https://www.kdcf.me/ Sometimes posts nsfw, make sure to block tags #nsfw and #mild nsfw if you don’t wanna see that!

I think anti-civ discourse has done a number on the thinking habits on some corners of this site. Some of you have become overly sensitized to critiques of society by a small minority of depressed retail workers with an imperfect analysis of what's wrong with their lives. But I promise you that fascism and barbarism are not lurking only three steps behind if you let anyone get away with being unsatisfied with this world.

The introductory “Hate” monologue from I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream, with AM voiced by the TikTok TTS

This is one of my favorite monologues in all of fiction, and I think the voice legitimately, unironically adds to the experience. With the modern connotation we now have surrounding this voice of faux cheeriness, machine generated empathy, machine generated “humanity”, to hear that voice declare utter despisal of life on earth for damning it… its poetry. It’s the only remake of I Have No Mouth we need.

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I like the computer. every time I program I think "this is neat, I should learn more about this and try to get good at this". so maybe one day I'll do that.

I'm literally studying computer science and I still think this.

I don’t really like the “here’s how to interact with tumblr (you should reblog everything you enjoy)” rule lists. I suppose they’re helpful guidelines for some, but for me at least, I come here to get away from semi-articulated mandatory social rules. on here you can deviate from them as much as you want because if people find you offputting they can just unfollow, block, or ignore you

I didn’t miss that social cue I just thought it was stupid 

‘i saw your social cue but am ignoring it in the hopes you learn to use your words and communicate like an adult. hope this helps’

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Worth saying every once in a while: parents are an oppressor class, the ur-oppressor class, and parental authority is the ur-authority. As has been so often said in science fiction and so little appreciated in everyday life, the responsibility that comes with creating life is grave, and such projects, if undertaken at all, should not be undertaken lightly. If you decide to do it you must be prepared to do it justly, and if you do not do it justly you are culpable. To act justly from a position of power means to relinquish that power whenever it is not disastrous to do so. Parents have a responsibility to work towards their children's safety and wellbeing and a greater responsibility to respect their children as people and to cede authority over their children's lives judiciously as this becomes viable in each domain.

The problem of just parenting is difficult and perhaps unsolvable, but I'm not an anti-natalist, so in the meantime we must settle for minimally unjust parenting. On a personal level, understand what a grave thing it is to take up the de facto authority of parenthood. On a political level, the power of parents as a class must be absolutely broken. Child liberation now.

That anarchist meme that says "the only authority I respect is my mom"? Fuck that meme. Your mom may be a good person and you may love her very much, and I support you in this, but she has no more justified authority over you than a cop or a teacher or anyone else. Free your mind.

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To be clear, I have a good relationship with my own parents, and in fact my views on the importance of respecting children as people come in large part from my mom, who has always felt very strongly about this topic. But as an adult I can recognize that even they did things, often normal things, while raising me that (although I would never say this to them) were fundamentally unconscionable to do to another human being. It's the nature of being a parent in our society. We have to change this.

it’s hard for me to express how heartbreaking it is to see gay people, especially–but not exclusively–gay women, buying into this idea that the closet is an idyllic place to grow up as a trans woman. that we’re socialized–without complications–in the way that men are socialized, that we reap every benefit cisgender boys, teenagers, or men reap because of their gender.

like. gay women, do you remember growing up being told you were meant to find a husband, carry the children you have with him, support them and him first, maybe to the point of effacing yourself? and gay men, do you remember growing up being told you were meant to find a wife, get a good job, father children, and carry on the family name and everything that goes with it?

do you remember realizing that you could never be this? and that, at the end of the day, the thought of being it repulsed you? that you were fundamentally different–flawed, even–fundamentally wrong and that everything you needed in your life was immoral and unnatural, or at least a disappointment? do you remember that choice you made? between rejecting everything you’d been told was in your future trying to make something of that pain–and sacrificing a fundamental part of yourself trying to be something you weren’t?

do you think straight people go through that? do you think that, being told all the same things, they know what it’s like to feel that panic and alienation?

i don’t understand why they can’t see that our closets are like this too. that we didn’t grow up internalizing everything society prescribes for a man or woman–that we grew up full of dread, and horror, and constant questioning of what was wrong with us and how we could possibly exist in the world. that, even if we tried to fulfill those prescriptions, we did so at the cost of our bodies and personhoods. that, as women, we were reckoning with the confines and disenfranchisement of womanhood on top of this.

that denial of empathy and willful blindness is so painful, especially coming from people who share so much of our childhood traumas. like, that people are so inclined to see us as Other that they’ll look straight past their own experiences is so impossibly heartbreaking and demoralizing.

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Many trans people — especially those of us who were assigned male at birth (AMAB) — find that we are denied the closet. Instead of garnering expressions of sympathy and understanding for that period of our lives, we are often mischaracterized as having “had it easy” during our pre-transition years, with some imagining that we must have been “basking” or “reveling” in “male privilege” all along the way. […] People who employ the “male privilege” gambit against trans female/feminine people are clearly not using “privilege” as a teaching tool. Rather, they are wielding it as a weapon. In short, they are playing a game of “Oppression Olympics,” portraying themselves as uniquely or supremely marginalized, while painting those whom they dislike or disagree with as “oppressors” who are supposedly responsible for inflicting said marginalization upon them. Despite its popularity, Oppression Olympics is not activism; it is merely an attempt to establish or reinforce new hierarchies — I discuss this at length in my second book Excluded. It must also be said that wielding “male privilege” in this manner is a classic TERF move. […] This rhetorical maneuver — painting trans female/feminine people as entitled “men” who merely “appropriate” femaleness and femininity, and pose potential threats to “real women” — has long been a central strategy of trans-exclusionary feminism. So I find it astounding that some people who (at least nominally) consider themselves to be pro-trans cannot recognize this blatant tactic for what it is. […] When people raise the issue of male privilege […] when discussing trans female/feminine people, what they are actually doing is dwelling on a single (often exaggerated, and sometimes entirely imagined) aspect of our past, to the exclusion of our many other characteristics (including our identities and lived histories moving through the world as women, as well as our struggles with other forms of marginalization). This feels invalidating to us. It erases our lived realities. More often than not, it is an attempt to overtly or tacitly exclude us from the communities to which we belong, whether they be women’s, feminist, LGBTQIA+, or trans in nature.
nb-nightwing-deactivated2022111

Me speaking with a tourist: ah Enchuligung....no gunk? Enchüleigunk ! Ich habe German- no wait Deutsch! Deutsch ja ich habe es. Uhhh gerlernt. Aber meine Deutsch es ist nicht zo gut lol

Them: ah we try English?

Me: ja bitte

Them: I must first apologise to you my dear friend, English is a complex language and I fear I may never truly master it. Even now I am aware of my mistakes and I can only ask your forgiveness for my butchering of this language

Me, tears running down my face: ja okay

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[Image description: a series of tweets by EZRA ROSE @sheydgarden on Twitter. The tweets are dated May 21, 2023, and read as follows:

oh i see we're doing this bizarre "maybe YOU freaks don't need in-person socialization, but WE do" accusation again. you're right! disabled people are another species & have no need for human connection! we also want to deny your needs, just because we're mean!

i wear a mask indoors in public spaces. i regularly:

  • meet up with my friends, indoors, masked
  • hang out outside with my friends
  • go into restaurants to buy food & take it out
  • go shopping
  • go to small indoor events, masked

if everyone was still masking indoors (because COVID is not over), i would be HAPPY to:

  • go to movies
  • go to concerts
  • attend & vend at large indoor gatherings like cons
  • not be nearly as at-risk in the hospital, where i still have to go! that'd be cool!

i certainly feel a way about how folks continue to claim that we're "trying to stop people from living their lives" when that is…literally happening TO disabled people. we're for-real being pushed out of public spaces & told our lives & deaths don't matter

but yeah it's definitely "shaming you" to ask (beg?) that you consider our safety! it's super unfair to you & i'm so sorry on behalf of all of us who continue to face the potential for greatly increased disability & death

End of transcription. End of image description.]

I do not think I will ever forgive the world for deciding that COVID was something we could just give up on.

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one of my favorite glados gags is she keeps pretending she went places. she's like i went outside today. girl you did not go anywhere.

I love when you see someone reblogging a text post multiple times because you don’t know if tumblr glitched on their end or if the post, “who else up garging they goyle” really fucking resonated with them and they just had to rb that mf 4x

buzzword cheat sheet to get attention of mutuals:

  • music
  • blood
  • eroticism of the machine
  • grief
  • ouroboros
  • labyrinth
  • lycanthropy/transformations
  • meat
  • cannibalism
  • devotion
  • god
  • rot and decay
  • abyss/hole/cavity

results are encouraging so far