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*sees spider* should i try to kill it or should i just kill myself 

why get thinner when you can get more dinner

sometimes i actually get my shit together but then i lose it again like 2 days later

Me: “astrology is so dumb” Me: *reads horoscope* Me: “me as hell though”

“Get a job, son.”

What I want

I watched it like six times before I lost it.

i have amazon prime so if i just get the sand from there it will be here friday

I’ll never forget the time I was waiting for my friend by the bathroom in the mall I watched a guy go into the men’s room empty handed, and when he came out he had an ice cream cone

i think i’ll pass.

SCREAMIN😭😂

don’t u try and lie to me and say u don’t like one of your pillows more than the others

this girl that sits with me was complaining..about another girl. because she likes the same band as her “but doesn’t dress like it” so obviously she doesn’t really listen to them

how do you DRESS like the music you listen to??? 

as an imagine dragons fan i am never seen not in a full dragon costume

as an arctic monkeys fan this is me

YESSSSSS

Please don’t underestimate the power of this feeling

being really good at chewing is underrated. if you had to pick one friend who chews the best who would you chews?

One day I’m gonna say “fight me!” and someone’s just gonna fuckin deck me

What do the bus drivers on field trips do while kids are on the field trip

my mom is a school bus driver and i can confirm