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KiwianAroha

@kiwianaroha

30, pakeha, cis woman (she/her) living in beautiful Aotearoa
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political theatre is right

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This is totally misrepresentative. I don’t like Pete either but the source is TrendingPolitics.com which is Fox News on steroids. See their current Top Stories on their website:

The bike was secured to an SUV during a Cabinet meeting after coming from DOT. He rode it to his personal home in the Hill area after the meeting. I know it’s funny ha ha hehehe but unfortunately this post is just spreading conservative fake news brainrot ):

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This chair is for the Gays only and yall know it

I NEED THIS IMMEDIATELY

I truly appreciate all the folks in the tags with Autism and/or ADHD just freaking out in delight that this even exists.

I want ten.

It’s $875

Homophobia and ableism strikes again

Or you could sit in a real chair like human beings.

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Homophobia and ableism strikes again. 

the kids are alright.

This is kinda perfect.

if anyone ever tries to tell u that racism/sexism/ableism/etc. are “natural” just show them this video

Those two that just could not come up with any differences! They were like “we both got glasses, both got these red sweaters, maybe we’re different heigh- nope we’re the same height… well shit we’re perfectly the same!”

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Those kids were perfect

Whenever I see this video I’m always struck that the kids are so quick to say what their friends are GOOD AT or what their friends enjoy. They’re so quick to build each other up!

I love this ad so much.  I watch it several times every time it comes over my dash.

“I used to not like lettuce but now I like lettuce.”  That’s ALWAYS the cutest thing I’ve heard in like a month.

What’s also really interesting to me is listening to the kids’ VERY adult thinking noises.

This is adorable

This has been a psa

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So the drugstore I was in today had a perfume display. Here are some of the perfumes I came across.

Dirt

Funeral Home

Weed

Grass

Holy Water

Laundromat

Leather

New Zealand 

Play-Doh 

Wet Garden

Tomato

Suntan Lotion

Sex on the Beach

Riding Crop

Soap

And Finally, Swimming Pool

The laundromat one actually smells really good, but when people asked me what scent i was wearing i was like ‘ummmmmmmmm’

So if I opened the New Zealand one here in New Zealand it would simply blend in with the air around it and smell like nothing, yes?

how to help a turtle cross a roadway:

“Now let’s talk about safety when it comes to helping a turtle across the road. You always wanna pull your vehicle to a stop, put on your hazard lights, and make sure that there are no cars coming in either direction. Move quickly, pick the turtle up gently, and then move it exactly in the direction it was headed. Even if it’s a water turtle, like a painted turtle, if you see a body of water on the side of the road from where it was coming, don’t place it back in that water. It’s likely a female on her way to lay eggs.”

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Image description:

Series of images of New York City streets, with words overlaid.

[image of bird-deterrent spikes] Almost everywhere you go in New York,

[image of bird-deterrent spikes atop a neon sign] you can see stuff designed to prevent animals

[image of a person standing on a ladder, cleaning bird poop off a roof] from making their mark.

[image of a lamp with bird-deterrent wires on top] These things are here to stop birds.

[image of low metal fencing around a tree well] These things are here to stop dogs. 

[image of two cops on a street corner] But they still let the pigs go wherever they want.

Just because your feelings are valid, this doesn’t mean that every possible reaction to them is. Yes, it’s okay to be angry - but it’s not okay to take it out on someone by breaking their stuff. Yes, it’s okay to be jealous - but it’s not okay to sabotage relationships. Yes, it’s okay to want attention - but it’s not okay to lie to get it. And so on. Your feelings are always valid, but you still have a responsibility for how you choose to express them.

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i cant believe there are people who still havent seen this video

I could probably recite this entire video, word-for-word, on demand.

Goddamn, this is nearly thirty years old and it fits like a glove into contemporary shitpost cadence and aesthetics, this is High Art

“that’s right
we’ll fuck your wife”

IT BETTER NOT BOUNCE OR YOU’RE A DEAD MOTHERFUCKER

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Please remember that almost everyone around you is traumatized. I didn’t understand this when I was younger. I wondered why people acted so strangely and irrationally. Maybe all children wonder this. The author Robert Anton Wilson said (paraphrasing), “We have never seen a completely sane adult human.” No one makes it out of this life alive. It’s not their fault. Mercy, kindness, forgiving — these are what makes one human. They are other names for love. People break in the strangest of ways.

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“Under the present brutal and primitive conditions on this planet, every person you meet should be regarded as one of the walking wounded. we have never seen a man or woman not slightly deranged by either anxiety or grief. we have never seen a totally sane human being." — Robert Anton Wilson