Can I still be Christian if I don't fit into the gender roles? Ok, typing it out makes it sound like a ridiculous question, but still. I'm a woman, and I just feel like I don't fit into any of the 'norms'. I don't wear make up because I don't want to, I've never shaven, and honestly most of my clothes are boy's section because I like the cuts and the material better. (It's thicker, it's not tight and it doesn't look ridiculous- for whatever reason even teenage boy's clothes are more practical than women's.) I'm in a male-dominated field of study as well, and I don't plan to ever have kids, and if I do, then it'll be through adoption.
Buuut counting all of that, I've gotten some pretty strange looks when I started going to church. I've had people make all sorts of assumptions and it does feel tiring. I've had a friend I made there subtly send me a link through Whatsapp for bible verses on 'femininity', and all that even. I don't know. I feel pulled towards God, but I also feel that I'm all alone in this. Virtually every other Christian woman I encounter wants to be a mother and take care of her husband. It's only on this website that I've even seen Christian women who are in tech and all that.
Absolutely, a resounding and explicit yes. In all sincerity, those norms do not matter in the Christian life, and even if Christians might culturally expect those things from women, Christ does not. The Blessed Virgin, the holiest woman to ever live, never wore makeup or shaved, and her clothes would have been practical and loose fitting. Openness to life (i.e. being open to having biological children) is crucial if you're called to marriage, but adoption is a noble and virtuous endeavor regardless. If it's not imminent (i.e. you're engaged, married, etc.) then take it to prayer as you grow with Christ! There's no rush and need to have it discerned right at the beginning.
That does sound exhausting; I think there's sort of an overcorrection where Christians, in an effort to reclaim their identity as men and women, are very rigid and enforcing extrabiblical rules about what 'real' masculinity and 'real' femininity are. A lot of men and women do thrive in those stricter rules, but plenty of women are virtuously feminine even if they might be less 'obviously' feminine. I would hope that the friends from your church are sincere and trying to be helpful, and I'm sorry that it seems like they're kind of shooting in the wrong direction. Finding fellowship is something I still really struggle with and I've found tumblr super helpful.
Keep praying and keep seeking God; conform yourself to Him and try to live righteously. You're so so welcome in the Christian life.
