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~T

@kittykathleen59

"love and let live"
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dear me, boy have you fought a hard fight this year. and for that i apologise. i never meant to make it tough for you. you were never fighting against the enemy - you were fighting yourself. i convinced you it was right and that there was something worth fighting for. i apologise for turning your mind against you. i gave you no hope of survival this year apart from the words that you ink onto paper before locking away. apart from the escape of being in someone else’s shoes on stage for an hour or two and even then the joy that once came with such activities disappeared. i’m sorry i let you believe that you weren’t worth that love. you weren’t good enough for that crush you had, you weren’t special enough for familial love and you definitely weren’t normal enough for platonic affection. most of all you were never worth the love that flows from your heart in a never ending stream waiting for someone to push it back so you feel that heartbreak - letting it creep into every crevice, cementing the fact that you were unlovable. i was wrong. i was lost in the darkness that clouded my sight and turned my living days into the same nightmares i saw at night. that took away the joy and light of dreams and replaced them with a void of empty space as the violent thoughts corrupted my nights as well. i am sorry. i say it a lot to others, to the animals and even to the world we live in but i don’t say it to you. i have hurt you. more that anyone else possibly could have. i look back upon this year and i wonder when the hope lighting the way disappeared. the once ignited flame was lost in the shadows and there was no room for it in the self-pity i shrouded you with. dear me, the new year is almost upon and i want to be better for you, help me be better.

millennial-poe, writing prompt #69: Write a letter apologizing to your body for any hatred and ingratitude you may have expressed. (via wnq-writers)

Source: wnq-writers.com

"Friends"

Some people will never change. Always got their one foot in the friendship for when it suits them and one to stab you in the back when you not looking.

Truth

People need to man the fuck up and tell the truth. The truth may suck but lies are like glass when the truth is revealed. And the truth always comes out. Fake people who try protect you with lies and act like your friend are actually hurting you more. For fucks sake people. Just be honest. A lot less effort.

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Dear Body, Oscar Wilde once famously said, “The proper basis for marriage is mutual misunderstanding”. Every time I read that quote, I can only think of you and the nineteen years I’ve known you for. In nineteen long years, you’ve protected me from the rain, bearing every harsh droplet on your skin. You’ve shrivelled more from my cold heart that refused to accept you as you are, than the cold we’ve both felt every winter. You’ve been the shrine whose walls were plastered with scathing remarks of self-hatred. You’ve listened to every word I’ve said, and accepted every criticizing remark I’ve made at your naked soul. You’ve bared scars on your heart from the voices in my head. I never truly cared for you, because I couldn’t see the beauty in you when I was surrounded by a crowd of beautiful girls. Girls I wanted you to look like. So, I did what I did best: I pushed you away. And you did what you did best: you kept coming back like some lost puppy no matter how far I pushed you away. I’ve neglected you for six long years now. Six long years of our marriage gone. Six long years that began with a small misunderstanding—a small voice inside my head that said “You aren’t pretty enough”. A voice that screamed at you, and made me cry myself to sleep because if you could just loose that weight, you’d be as pretty as a picture-perfect girl. And what’ve you done? You haven’t stopped loving me in the last six years. You’ve tried pushing yourself harder and harder in the gym every weekend just so I would love you more on the weekdays. You’ve beaten yourself down trying to be just like those girls. I never did glance at you. Not once. Not once did I notice those kind hazel eyes, those deep, beautiful dimples on your cheeks, or your sweetness that’d give me diabetes if I just bothered to taste a sample of it. I didn’t care. Not a moment before now. Not until the fog lifted after a harsh rain and I finally saw how you sheltered me. Baby, I finally felt the warmth that radiated from your scarred heart. Yet, I’m surprised at how you’ve managed to know me better than I know myself. How could you not? You are my body, my soul mate. How did I not see this before? How could I not know? Darling, the love of my life, you are enough. In fact, you are more than enough, for you’ve loved me even when I couldn’t love myself. If only I could go back in time, I’d be sorry for everything I’ve said. But I can’t. So I’ll say it now, in the only way I know how: I’m sorry. I love you. I’ve always loved you, but never have I found the acceptance in myself to actually say it to you. P.S. Here’s to many more years of loving you (insecurities, paranoia, flaws and everything in between) for you and loving myself for myself. Love, Mind

ardonovon, writing prompt #69: Write a letter apologizing to your body for any hatred and ingratitude you may have expressed. (via wordsnquotes)

Source: wnq-writers.com
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1. Do not be afraid to feel. Be soft, be gentle, be a roaring hurricane if that’s what your heart is telling you. You are an intricate creature of emotion. Do not still your flames. 2. Set your alarm 5 minutes early. Give yourself 5 minutes to lay there in resilience. Then get up and go. 3. Do not forget the importance of those who ask you how you are. Who ask you how your day was. Notice those who check in on you. The world can be a dark place, surround yourself with those who care. 4. You may not look like that girl in the photo, or the girl you just walked past in the street. But that does not make you any less beautiful. You are simply a different kind of flower. 5. Do not be ashamed of your interests and your passions, the music you like, the books you read, what you enjoy doing on a Sunday. Be proud of the light in your eyes when you speak about it. 6. Understand the difference between good and bad attention. There are those that see you simply for what you offer on the outside, but there are also those who are fascinated by the miracles you offer on the inside too. 7. Don’t take yourself too seriously. You are only human. Forgive yourself when you need to and laugh at yourself often. 8. Despite how it may seem now, your family will not be around forever. Make the effort while you can. These people are your blood, your life source, your first friends. 9. Never stop learning. This world is full of wonder. Be curious about what it holds, the nature, the history, the people. There will always be something new. 10. Make good stories. The present is the youngest you’ll ever be again. There will come a day where you look back upon your life, and memories will be all you have left. Go make some.

mesmer-ise,  writing prompt #62: list 10 pieces of advice you’d give yourself (via wnq-writers)

Source: wnq-writers.com
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“do you still love him?”

i don’t know, because

i resent him for what he’s done

for leaving me, for breaking my heart

and for giving me hope this isn’t final

on some days i resent him so much i start to resent myself

for ever letting him in

but during those days

i still want nothing more than to have him back

for him to hold my hand and tell me it’s okay

that we’re okay

and that i don’t have to worry

at night, i see his face

i have nightmares

i cannot sleep

but still, he’s my everything

filling my heart with flowers

and i’m fucking suffocating

so maybe i should cut them off

but the garden is so beautiful

so i guess i still love him

because i choose death over a life without him