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KittyKatCreatster

@kittykatcreatster

21

A doctor saying "Good news! Your labs look great" is like if you were watching a cop show and the chief walked in like "Great news, everybody! The best news! The killer is still at large and we have no leads."

One time I was like pretty sure I had finally figured out that I had Symptoms Disease due to all the Symptoms and my doctor did some tests and she was like. Good news! You don't have Symptoms Disease!

And I started crying and she was like, is there something in your eye? And I said no I'm crying? And she was like, oh? Why? And I said, because we can't fix my Symptoms because we still don't know what's wrong with me? And she was like. Nothing's wrong with you! :)

Actually something similar had happened to me multiple times (and in some of those cases I did in fact get diagnosed with the relevant Symptoms Disease years later) but the one where the doctor asked if I had something in my eye because she couldn't comprehend that not having answers would be upsetting, that was definitely one of the most situations ever.

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I have never felt so validated in never having given up on Tumblr.

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IT GETS WORSE!

"This is hilarious. It appears that Twitter is DDOSing itself. The Twitter home feed's been down for most of this morning. Even though nothing loads, the Twitter website never stops trying and trying. In the first video, notice the error message that I'm being rate limited. Then notice the jiggling scrollbar on the right. The second video shows why it's jiggling. Twitter is firing off about 10 requests a second to itself to try and fetch content that never arrives because Elon's latest genius innovation is to block people from being able to read Twitter without logging in. This likely created some hellish conditions that the engineers never envisioned and so we get this comedy of errors resulting in the most epic of self-owns, the self-DDOS. Unbelievable. It's amateur hour."

So he artificially limited the number of tweets you can see per day with a "free" account.

Once you hit your limit, it stops you from loading the page. But it also doesn't know WHY it isn't loading, so it keeps TRYING.

Twitter is literally hitting itself in the face ten times per second per user.

This is so completely amateurish it's unbelievable. It's like putting your car in neutral and slamming your foot on the gas until your engine redlines and then wondering why it's making a horrible noise and a terrible smell but not going anywhere.

this is a message for everyone who is 22. if you’re 22 please stop worrying. take a deep breath eat a bagel maybe. everything that feels impossible is going to work itself out. have a great day

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do u have a message for 25 year olds

uhhhhh 2 bagels?

the statue in the bottom right is Le génie du mal, carved by guillame geefs to replace a different lucifer (known as either Le génie du mal or L’ange du mal) carved by his younger brother. why did joseph geefs’ lucifer get removed from the cathedral? it was too sexy. the statue was too sexy by far.

st. paul’s cathedral in liége went from one lucifer, whom they called ‘too sublime’ and removed because he was distracting ‘pretty penitent girls,’ to another lucifer, who they’ve left there for 170 years even though he’s so hot that satanists visit the cathedral to meditate in the presence of this Most Sexy Of Lucifers

here’s how i imagine that went down.

liege cathedral: hmm. you know what we need? a nice satan for our church. let’s ask joey geefs

joseph geefs: sculpts this

liege cathedral: no!! too hot!! now we all want to fuck lucifer! we need a different satan. let’s ask… the sexy lucifer sculptor’s BROTHER. yes. willy geefs is older so he definitely doesn’t want to fuck lucifer

guillaume geefs, who DOES want to fuck lucifer, and the only sign of his being older than his brother is that the lucifer he wants to fuck is somewhat older: sculpts this

liege cathedral: shit. well we don’t have any more money for lucifers so i guess we’ll keep this sexy lucifer

mlm, straight girls, and satanists in the vicinity of liege: NICE

Years ago I overheard (eavesdropped upon) a telephone conversation between a public parks official and a golf course owner.

Parks Official: No sir, you cannot

Parks Official: No. They are a protected species

Parks Official: You CANNOT shoot them

Parks Official: Or poison them, no. Or trap them

Parks Official: If you like, we can-- no, I'm it. I'm the ranking official here. There's nobody above me. My boss? You mean... the governor's office? Sure, I guess. Okay bye

After he hung up, he gave me this thousand-yard stare before answering my unvoiced question.

"There's a flock of flamingos at the 9th green disrupting golfers. He wanted permission to go out there with a shotgun and take care of matters, but sensed there might be... legal ramifications. So he called us."

I laughed. "Does that happen often?"

"Oh, we get calls like that a couple times a month."

Country clubs should be burned to the ground and their golf courses turned into community gardens i am 10000% serious

Was golf created for the sole purpose of hoarding ridiculously large amounts of land just to brag about how little they use it?

Yes, literally.