TODAY ON TERRIBLE TEXTBOOK FINDS
SOMEONE PLEASE BUY THIS OFF ME I THINK IVE BROEKN MY HAND
Speaking of unfortunate acronyms, the one for some new program we’re doing at work is HPV
I cannot remember what the V stands for… Haystack Procedure something or other (haystack being our company name)
Universal Workers Union (UWU)
I just remembered a Real british one that is even better. National Union of Teachers:
Or NUT.
OH MY GOD
every library in our consortium is assigned a three letter callsign to be used across various different systems and services the consortium provides, such as track books, staff e-mail, etc. our library is assigned CUM
no one will say it out loud
oh its been a WHILE since ive seen this thread
mightiestneintoevernein
there’s a shipping company called Specialized Transportation, Inc., and I think they just acknowledged and embraced this given that I have driven by many trucks on the highway emblazoned with “STI DELIVERS”
everytime i come back to it this thing gains a few more gems
Official Meeting Facilities Guide
The three letter code for a local library in the town of Fuquay (pronounced few-kway) is FUQ
Lest we forget…
I want a UTI…degree.
The public transportation service around Williamsburg, VA was called Hampton Roads Transportation, and their busses all said Go HRT on them.
Let’s not forget the Wisconsin Tourism Federation
I definitely just screenshotted that in all its dozens of pixels for my reaction pics folder
There’s a church named Christian Life International, and they decided to field a softball team. Feeling that CLI didn’t adequately communicate their status as a church, they decided to put a cross at the end.
Result: A church softball team whose hats and uniforms say CLIt.
the Flinders University Cricket Club
May i add?
*looks around* Damn, no one’s set up the Foundation for Unified Cultural Knowledge yet.
im literally obsessed with my roommates family. they have this tiny ass puppy and you’re never gonna fucking guess what this thing is called
beefcake craig
delightful news everypony
was in the car with my friend when I saw the car we passed had the license plate “SADNESS” and I went oh wait we gotta slow down so I can get a pic, but every time we went slower the other car also slowed down. so I looked behind us to see what was going on and the passenger also had their phone up and wheezing the same way I was, and that’s when I remembered my friend’s license plate is “LOSSJPG”
you think I would do that? just go on the internet and tell lies?
what is it about a climate crisis happening in one part of the world that has people in a different part of the world with a different climate pattern going “oh that? that’s normal for us, don’t be a baby.” yeah that’s why it’s called climate change. if it was a normal climate pattern for them, then there’s no crisis because there’s no climate change.
See, this is why my problem with the Fainting Palace Guard pictures isn’t “oh, that’s only 86F, we have summers hotter than that regularly,” it’s “England you have had heat waves for, what, five summers in a row now? GIVE YOUR GUARDS A SUMMER UNIFORM DAMMIT.”
That’s it, for your insolence I’m putting you in the YouTube to MP3 converter
*horrible, sickening crunching sounds can be heard*
My friend and I got together and wrote fanfics on paper with pens and then swapped them.
Once the internet had been invented (well, made more widely available) I did discover fanfic.net. But between the two there were a number of websites each for a fandom. Or an author would put fics up on their website for all their fandoms.
I think calling the reddit situation a "boycott" is misrepresenting how that site operates at the scale it does and also why this is even remotely effective
reddit uses volunteer moderation and community management by design, so unlike other social media where a boycott would just result in a tiny dip in engagement at best, this is much more equivalent to (unpaid) employees (with no obligation to the company) walking out
in other words, you couldn't really do this with facebook or twitter or tumblr because you, as a nonemployee, are entirely incapable of causing disruption of service
Reddit is essentially a forum service and most of the forums people go for are shutting down.
Who was your bisexual awakening and why was it Ardeth Bay from the hit films The Mummy (1999) and The Mummy Returns (2001)
literally illegal and a crime against me personally (which is the worst kind of crime) for a man to be that perfect
no sorry
it was Evelyn Carnahan (later, O’Connell) from the hit films The Mummy (1999) and The Mummy Returns (2001)
Ardeth Bay provided some very helpful contributions, however, it must be said.
May I offer Brendan Fraser from the hit films The Mummy (1999) and The Mummy Returns (2001)?
I had a crush on allllll 3 of them ngl. I watched at a later date than most being smol at the time of release but it stands
borinquenaqueer
On their way to bi your sexuality
“Before proceeding further, the Court notes that this case involves two extremely likable lawyers, who have together delivered some of the most amateurish pleadings ever to cross the hallowed causeway into Galveston, an effort which leads the Court to surmise but one plausible explanation. Both attorneys have obviously entered into a secret pact complete with hats, handshakes and cryptic words to draft their pleadings entirely in crayon on the back sides of gravy-stained paper place mats, in the hope that the Court would be so charmed by their child-like efforts that their utter dearth of legal authorities in their briefing would go unnoticed. Whatever actually occurred, the Court is now faced with the daunting task of deciphering their submissions. With Big Chief tablet readied, thick black pencil in hand, and a devil-may-care, laugh-in-the-face-of-death, life-on-the-razor’s-edge sense of exhilaration, the Court begins.”
— Bradshaw v. Unity Marine Corp., Inc., 147 F. Supp. 2d 668 (S.D. Tex. 2001)
Oh boy
I googled the full judgement (x) and it just… keeps going like that. The judge has no chill and also may be my new hero.
“Despite the continued shortcomings of Plaintiff’s supplemental submission, the Court commends Plaintiff for his vastly improved choice of crayon. Brick Red is much easier on the eyes than Goldenrod, and stands out much better amidst the mustard splotched about Plaintiff’s briefing. But at the end of the day, even if you put a calico dress on it and call it Florence, a pig is still a pig.”
We reclaiming tonight bois
OP (mangolence) actually redid this himself! Here's his comic and his description:
"I’ve been wanting to make this post for quite some time. Working through internalized transphobia is hard, but it’s worth it. In my country, being transsexual is classified as a mental illness. If you are trans, you are treated as sick by the court system and by the healthcare system. The idea that transmedicalism helps trans people is false, and unconventional trans and nonbinary people aren’t why transphobia exists, ignorance and bigotry is why transphobia exists.
-
-
If you want to learn more about this topic, I highly recommend Brennen Beckwith’s three part video series, starring with “Breaking My Silence On Kalvin Garrah | Part 1” , and Contrapoints video "transtrenders". Big thank you to @krougrin for encouraging me to make this post!
-
-
-
#transgender #lgbt #lgbtq #transmasculine #nonbinary #transmed #transmedicalist"
This is important
But also gods I️ haven’t heard the word tucute in literal years
there are reputable dealers of actual ready-to-use feminizing HRT that have been collectively verified to be genuine and safe. the risks in most places, legally and medically, of buying from them are very low. supplements are no replacement for actual hormone replacement therapy and anything claiming to be is snake oil. buying the raw active ingredients to combine at home is taking an unnecessary risk with your health if you lack the appropriate skills and make a mistake. don't waste your money and don't risk your health when there exists a safe option that actually works.
Anonymous asked:
Can you tell me why Frodo is so important in lotr? Why can't someone else, anyone else, carry the ring to mordor?
but someone else could.
that’s the whole point of frodo—there is nothing special about him, he’s a hobbit, he’s short and likes stories, smokes pipeweed and makes mischief, he’s a young man like other young men, except for the singularly important fact that he is the one who volunteers. there is this terrible thing that must be done, the magnitude of which no one fully understands and can never understand before it is done, but frodo says me and frodo says I will.
(when boromir is thinking of how he can use the ring to defend gondor, when aragorn is thinking of how it brought down proud isildur, when elrond is holding council and gandalf is thinking of how twisted he would become, if he ever dared—)
but then there’s frodo, who desires nothing except what he has already left behind him, and says, I will take the Ring.
it is an offer made out of absolute innocence, utter sincerity. It is made without knowing what it will make of him—and frodo loses everything to the ring, he loses peace and himself and the shire, he loses the ability to be in the world. It’s cruel, the ring is cruel, it searches out every weakness you have and feeds on it, drinks you dry and fills you with its poison instead, the ring is so cruel.
and frodo picks it up willingly. for no other reason except that it has to be done.
(the ring warps boromir into a hopeless grasping dead thing, the power of the palantir turns denethor into an old man, jealous and suspicious, it bends even saruman, once the proudest of the istari, into a mechanised warlord, sitting in his fortress and bent over his perverse creations—all the best of intentions, laid waste)
but there’s a reason gollum exists in the narrative, which is to show—well, to show what frodo might have been. because even as frodo grows mistrustful and wearied, as the burden of this ring grows heavier and heavier, he is never gollum. he is gentle to gollum. he is afraid—god frodo is so afraid for 2/3 of these books he is so tired and afraid, but he keeps moving, he walks though it would pull him into the ground, because he asked for this, he said he would.
someone else could have carried the ring to mordor, I suppose. the idea of a martyr is not dependent on the particular flesh and blood person dying for some greater purpose. but such a thing has to be chosen, lifted onto your shoulders for the right reason, the truest reasons, and followed into the dark, though it would see you burnt through and bled out.
I will take the Ring, though I do not know the way.
y'know say what you want about tumblr (and I have), but this is still probably the simplest and most powerful distillation of the heart of the Lord of the Rings I’ve ever read. I think back to it all the time
Community Label: Mature
Honestly idk anymore what I want to do bottom surgery wise and I am not particularly in a hurry to figure it out because I want top and hysto before anything HOWEVER I do find that a lot of negative opinions about phallo dicks are, um, a bit unrealistic in their expectations for how natal dicks are supposed to be.
I know a lot of these folks are fairly young and stuff like trouble getting it up and not ejaculating/orgasming tends to happen with age but also. Cis dicks do that stuff too. There's a reason boner pills are available pretty much everywhere and it's because a lot, and I do mean a LOT of cis guys are really embarassed about this and struggle in silence because they'd rather die than admit their dick sometimes decides not to comply.
So, this is probably going to sound strange to a lot of younger people, but genuinely generic-you will find your sex lives a lot more fulfilling in the long run if "success" in sex doesn't have to mean "everybody cums every time," and definitely doesn't mean "everybody cums simultaneously like it's a fucking movie or whatever," and instead means "everybody gets what they wanted out of sex."
That is both easier and more difficult. There's a lot of programming about how sex should always be effortless and free and everybody should just be cumming rainbows all the time, but like... it's okay if your dick doesn't work right now and it's okay if you're too dry because your hormones are fucked up and it's okay if you get a leg cramp and that spoils the mood or if you're just too fucking tired to get off but you want to make your partner cum bc that's fun. Or maybe you're stone and don't like people to touch your genitals so it takes you a while, or you're stone and the only person who touches your genitals is you, so you get your partner off and then yourself, and that's how you like it. Or maybe a million other things, including "it's okay to make out for a while and nobody feels like continuing and so you snuggle and watch TV and talk."
What's important is that you can talk to your partner(s) without fear or shame so that everybody involved is consensually getting what they want out of the sex that they're in, and if their needs aren't being met, you can talk about how to meet those needs.
As you get older, especially if you're disabled, your body will do what you want it to less often and less enthusiastically. That doesn't mean your sex gets worse. I would never want to go back to the sex I had at twenty, because I was so tied up mentally in fear and shame and performance anxiety and gender dysphoria that I wasn't actually present in my body. I genuinely thought that people didn't really ever lose themselves in the moment entirely until I started T and started feeling like myself, bc there was always a part of me that was sort of standing back and watching myself until then. So your body does what you want it to less often and less easily, but that doesn't mean that suddenly your sex life is tragic or whatever. What it does mean is that you'll need to recalibrate what you consider "successful sex."
Sex, to me, is successful when my partner(s) and I enjoy whatever we just got up to and when I feel connected to them by it and vice versa. That's it. It isn't unsuccessful if we don't all cum; it's unsuccessful if we don't all have a good time.
Ironically, when you unchain your brain from the idea that everybody has to get off like it's a soft-focus smut scene for sex to be good, and instead focus on everybody getting what they want out of the encounter, you'll find the orgasms you do have become so much better, and the sex you have becomes so much better regardless of whether or not you get off.
Sometimes bodies don't do what we wish they would, cis or trans, that's very true. I personally would like a body I can mold like Silly Putty, but as that ain't happening, I'll do what I like best with the body I have and I'll try to be as gentle and loving towards my body as I am towards the bodies of my lovers. I deserve that, and so do they.
Community Label: Mature
Sexual themes
Midnight Pals: Mr Sandman
Neil Gaiman: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale Gaiman: of the hierophant of illusions! Gaiman: the patriarch of the velvet shroud of night! Gaiman: the master Gaiman: [throwing sparkling dust] of dreams!
Gaiman: in tonight's adventure, the master of dreams is captured Koontz: oh no! Gaiman: oh yes my young friend Gaiman: imprisoned! Gaiman: in a sphere!
Gaiman: and when mankind if deprived of dreams, what can be said for our hopes? our stories? Gaiman: truly that would be the true waking death Gaiman: for do we all not star in the stories we tell ourselves? Gaiman: are we all not the heroes we aspire to be Gaiman: in our dreams?
Gaiman: the one who imprisoned the master of dreams Gaiman: a man who styles himself magus Gaiman: but nothing more than a conjurer of cheap tricks! a buffoon of the highest order! Gaiman: a charlatan who stumbled to greatness Aleister Crowley: haha this guy sounds like a chump
Aleister Crowley: this magus guy sounds like a real dope King: Poe: Lovecraft: Barker: Koontz: Crowley: what?
King: um aleister i think King: i think King: phew oh boy King: how do i say this Barker: it's you aleister Crowley: what Barker: you're the dope King: gee clive i was trying to let him down lightly Barker: yeah but this is funnier
Barker: this fail magus is 100% based on you Crowley: Crowley: Crowley: Crowley: naw that doesn't sound right Crowley: seems more of a victor neuburg type Gaiman: ah well the fail magus does have a fail son based on him
Barker: this fail magus is clearly based on you Crowley: what the fuck Crowley: what the FUCK Crowley: i'm no fail magus!!! Crowley: I'M THE GREAT BEAST Barker: haha he's gonna say the line Crowley: DO WHAT THOU WILT!! DO WHAT THOU WILT!! Barker: and there we go haha
Crowley: [grabbing Gaiman by the shirt] YOU TAKE THAT BACK, NERD, OR I'LL CLOBBER YOU Crowley: I'M THE GREAT BEAST!! DO WHAT THOU WILT! Gaiman: calm yourself, my friend Gaiman: for the tale is not yet told Crowley: WHAT DOES THAT MEAN Crowley: WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN
Gaiman: think of this magus Crowley: I'M GONNA CLOBBER YOU Gaiman: now imagine Gaiman: that he is portrayed on the screen Gaiman: by charles dance Crowley: Crowley: [releasing gaiman] yeah Crowley: yeah he would play me Crowley: yeah ok Crowley: finally! Crowley: some respect!
Gaiman: yes stentorian thespian charles dance Gaiman: a presence that commands respect Crowley: yeah ok i like this Crowley: he's like everyone's disapproving dad Gaiman: no my friend Gaiman: he is not mere dad Gaiman: he is everyone's disapproving FATHER
@ my fellow adults who use tumblr a lot:
can you PLEASE put your age in your about/sidebar and make sure it’s accessible on mobile. imo if you’re an adult esp 20+ it’s a little weird that you wouldn’t have your age readily available on your blog. if you’re reading this now and you don’t have your age listed, please rectify that. i feel like teenagers get lured into talking to adults in fandom/lgbt spaces that they may not have intentionally sought out because they think they’re talking to other teenagers, and this can lead to a lot of other – much more insidious –problems
Can you guys step out of the tumblr “everyone over 20 is inherently predatory and creepy towards children” bubble for once and consider that encouraging people to give up their personal information for the imagined safety of the community is like…not safe?
this advice doesn’t even make sense for multiple reasons; if someone is intent on preying upon minors, all they have to do is follow your advice and lie about their age, being over 20 doesn’t mean you can’t be preyed on yourself, you should never be coerced into giving up your privacy on social media (seriously, did a fed write this?), and promoting the idea that turning 20 means your interactions with younger people should be viewed with suspicion is absolutely harmful, like OP do you have any common sense? At all?
“ignore your own privacy boundaries and discomfort and if you don’t idk 🤔sounds a lil sus 2 me, pedophile” will you guys stop larping as conservative politicians for one second please
think-of-the-children fearmongering is not the same thing as actually protecting minors
You’re talking about - much more insidious - problems while telling people if you don’t do what I tell you, you might be a threat to the safety of our community, like okay Dubya!
Let me tell you about the insidious things that happened when I was young in fandom spaces and older fans became my friends
1. I was taught real sex ed by a midwife, including a lot of pros and cons of various birth control
2. I learned you can just get anything printed into a book and having it in a physical book don’t legitimize something
3. I learned how to enjoy other cultures without making people from those cultures uncomfortable
4. I realized my guardians, while better than my past guardians, were still abusive and what I was experiencing was not healthy, even if distressingly common
5. I learned generosity without ulterior motives actually did exist
6. I learned I don’t have to abandon the things I enjoy as I get older.
7. I was taught ways to treat people differently in deference to their age while still treating them as peers.
(they treated me as an equal, but I was not included in any sexual discussions, for example)
8. I learned that friendships don’t have to be quid pro quo
All of these things super insidious and destructive to the conservative agenda.
Destroying the links between generations is part of how the powerful keep us from forming communities and bettering our lives. Don’t do the masters’ work for them.
The language of the OP is such dogwhistley language as well: ‘lured into’ ‘insidious’.
Friendships across generations is not a bad thing.
And also, maybe we are older, but we are also the generation who was told do not put your personal details - including your age - on the internet, because that opens you up to being targeted by people who will take advantage of you because of your youth and inexperience.
it is so fucking weird to me that there’s this whole culture of “omg what if I TALK TO A GROWN-UP that’s so CREEPY AND UNNATURAL” like…what kind of Kool-aid are they passing out on TikTok these days.
I want to exaggerate and put on the peer pressure and propaganda here for a second and say that normal healthy friendships have existed between generations for as long as human beings have been alive. They are part of why we have survived as a species. What the fuck are you doing.