golden enni

(wakes up at reasonable hour) (stays in bed for two more hours)

(goes to bed at a reasonable hour)(stays awake for two more hours)

ah, the duality

she let the baby stay in there the whole night and decided to check in the morning lmao

All. The. Time. 🤷‍♀️

Kitchen Ghosts on Instagram / Tumblr

Programmers are the greatest browsing community (SO mostly)…We can singlehandedly save the planet.

I use Ecosia and let me tell you, Google has nothing on this search engine.

It’s true!

Boosting because this looks really cool! It doesn’t have the wildcard capabilities I need for my job, so I probably can’t use it that much, but maybe others can!

Pretty, yes? Here’s an example of the Glass Gem corn I grew this year. I used pink kernels from a cob I grew last year. Voila! Lustrous corn with pink and pearly hues.

there’s a chinese exchange student in my composition class and we were being presented something about how you can use brackets to signify translation and there was chinese text on the screen and the prof said to him “what does that say?” and he deadpanned “i can’t speak chinese” and everyone sat there in dumbfounded silence and then the presenter clicked to show that the text literally said “i can’t speak chinese” with the most shit-eating grin on his face

Chaotic Neutral

May the 10 of Pentacles bless your account with more money than you can spend. 💵✨

10 of Pentz came thruuu

Omg this actually works!!! Thank you 10 of Pentacles!!!

I could seriously use this money right now….

Please give me my refund of 400$ soon…

I feel obligated to reblog this every time it shows up in my dash

No bragging, just 100% floored and grateful. Work hard, maintain a positive attitude, and believe that anything can happen.

So I reblogged this exactly a week ago because I thought it was funny and uh lo and behold, a family friend wrote me a big ol’ check just to help me out of a tough financial spot AND my bank refunded me $32 for fees they’d originally taken out. SO UH YEAH. Reblogging this again in hopes that it brings equally good fortune to my followers.

Sure why not? Jobs bring in money and prosperity…

Pls..

Couldn’t hurt. I’m desperately hurting for cash

Please I could really use this right now

Ccvvcvbbvvbb

if i were a zookeeper my intrusive thoughts would be wild

brain: slap that penguin. right across his little blubbery tummy. it’ll jiggle.

me: no??? that’s mean???

brain: polar bear, then

me: no

brain: the lions just got fed raw meat

me: yes?

brain: steal it and eat it in front of them

me: …

rowan i want you to know that this is the best possible reply i could have received

I work with animals and this is true for me. No, I cannot eat sea stars out the touch tank no matter HOW good you think the cronch will be, brain. 

sometimes you wonder what was going through the head of the first human to eat something really weird and then you see this post and stop wondering

@harinezumiko

This 100% was me at the zoo. Don’t touch Melon, he’s mean. Okay, but I have to touch Bob to make him get his stupid emu head out of my shirt, so what if I also touch Melon until he likes it? Sephiroth is angery because he has one wing and sometimes attacks people? I want to pet him also. Also he won’t get off the rock I have to clean anyway, surely a little pets on the good side will be fine. Martha and Stewart are assholes that tag-team while the pond is filling? I bet I could CUDDLE THEM. The female deer will excitedly nuzzle you in the stomach for feeding them. This is fine, because they don’t have antlers. The male deer is locked up while we’re putting out food because he will gouge you to death with his little nubby asymmetrical horns, because he thinks the females are doing it. The entire monkey enclosure will eat your fingers for a single fruit loop. They also have the smallest arms and can reach through holes they’ve made in the tarp on the gate to their enclosure. Do not hold hands with the monkeys. (2nd gen old man monkey will also pee on the keepers that don’t give him fruit loops. He is a jerk.) The rehabilitated bear that still sits like she’s on a couch because she did that when she was living in a crack house? Yes, she looks chill. Yes, she looks The Softest. No, do not pet her back through the fence. No, do not go into the corridor and try to offer treats for pets. Big Mac does not know he will break your ribs, but YOU know he will break your ribs. Do not enter Big Mac’s enclosure no matter how much he chuffs and displays his belly and rubs on the cage and looks sad. Yes, he genuinely wants pets. Yes, Pinkie is deliberately getting pets where he can see it as a sign of dominance even though she’s a housecat and he could eat her in approximately one bite. The turtle is mean. Period. He is an old man and he does not like you. He does not like the parrot getting fries and he does not like that he is in a kiddie pool to warm up because his enclosure lost power, and he does not like you behind him preparing food for the owls and raptors. Petting him will not help this. He will rock back and forth and mean mug you forever because he is a grumpy old man. All of the rabbits need more handling on principle. They don’t know you and they are very distressed that you’re taking their poop away. They can learn, a little, kind of. The guinea pig is insane and will not learn. Do not pet the guinea pig.

this post is gathering some highly blessed zoo stories i love it! thank you

as biologist, can confirm

brain: that frog is very small me: well spotted, brain brain: put smol frog in mouth me: no!

brain: that lynx…looks so fluffy… me: it does brain: we should pet it. me: it’s awake and angry so no.

brain: baaaaby bunny. me: yup. brain: baby bunny goes in pocket me: nooo it doesn’t.

Mark Zuckerberg lost $119 Billion dollars on the stock market today (7/26/18). This is the largest loss of wealth in a single day in modern stock history.

This will literally not change his lifestyle or effect his livelihood at all. He is still a multi-billionaire.

If I worked every single day, for the rest of my life, at $15/hr - which is more than twice the national minimum wage - I would never make even 1/1000th the amount of just the money that Zuckerberg lost today.

If I worked every single day, for the entirety of the time that anatomically modern humans have existed (200,000 years) - at $15/hr - I would still not make one tenth of the amount of just the money he lost today.

And he is still a billionaire and will lose literally zero luxury or well-being from what happened today.

You want to know how absolutely grotesque modern wealth inequality is?

There you go.

You’re all monsters

even her?

No!!! Of course not!!!! She’s wonderful!

you fool!!