Alien Fashion at Rin by Chung Tranh Phong Pre-Fall 2023 Collection
desperate for a tv show filmed like modern family or the kardashians of the batfam, titled “watch out for the waynes” or something like that.
bruce signed for the limited series to keep up appearances.
dick acts like a love island contestant.
damian is only ever in the corner of shots, staring into the soul of the cameraman.
cass, similarly, does not contribute much, but looks to the camera like she’s in modern family whenever shit happens.
tim finds every way to be the last laugh, the one-liner guy, the “unexpected, effortless, fan favourite™️”.
duke frequents the interview room.
jason sends subtextual messages to the audience through the books he’s seen reading in a scene:
bruce and tim are having a tiff about who’s idea is better while jason’s reading “the metamorphoses - book iii 339-358” (narcissus).
everyone’s having a grand old time at a gala while jason’s at a table reading “vile bodies”.
damian’s in a mood and nobody’s picked up on it yet while jason is seen reading “american psycho”.
nobody can find steph and tim and jason’s sat literally reading the back of a “dazed and confused” dvd to get his point across.
after school ice cream run captured by one alfred pennyworth circa spring 2003
i’ve been thinking a lot about batkid outfits so i drew as many as i can in one go
All I want in life is a nightwing animated movie in the style of spider verse and I'm never gonna get it because DC hates all of their characters and that has been hurting me every single day for the past 3 years
Bruce: I'm going to be doing undercover work for the League in Europe for at least 6 months, and Hal has volunteered to look after you all during that time.
Dick: Half of us are adults! I've been doing this almost twice as long as him!
Tim: So are we supposed to behave or not?
Bruce: I've come up with one rule for each of you that I would like you to follow. Other than that, I don't care
Starting with you, Dick. Do not change yours or anyone else's costume without a 2/3 majority vote from your siblings. Jason, heads belong on necks. Let's keep it that way.
Jason: It was one time!
Bruce: Technically, it was eight. Cass, if you get caught doing anything mischievous, I will be very disappointed. Tim, run all of your plans by Alfred or Duke before implementing them. They are your moral compasses for the time being. Steph, stay out of my fridge.
Steph: Shan't
Bruce: Duke, I'm going to assume that anything you do has a good reason. Don't abuse this privilege. Damian, please leave making Hal regret this to the others. If I hear that you followed him home or something along those lines, I will bench you.
Damian: It was one time!
Bruce: Aside from that, the manor and the Cave had best be standing when I return. I'm going to go prepare
The thought that Brucie Wayne and Batman being two completely separate entities that Bruce can code switch between has consumed me especially with the idea that he mixes the two together on occasion to fuck with people
~~~~~~~~~
*Batman and Superman searching a dressing room*
Superman: What about this thing, it looks suspicious?
Batman *full Batman voice*: That’s an eyelash curler darling
~~~~~~~~
*OG JLA revealing identities to newbies*
Green Arrow: Your turn Bats, who are you?
Batman having decided to fuck with him walking up to him cocking his hip putting one hand on his chest and in full Brucie Wayne mode: C’mon Ollie-Dollie you know who I am. We dated 💕
Green Arrow (internally): Modem noise
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Recently revealed identities with Clark and Brucie being at the same party
Brucie: oh howdy 🤠 cowboy, fancy meeting you at this shindig
Clark *flustered* (internally): he can’t be Batman he can’t be Batman he can’t be Batman…
~~~~~~~~~
*Bruce getting a call during a JLA meeting*
Brucie: Oh! hello dear, yes of course I’m coming to your party I’ll see you later 😘
Batman: Our security measures need to be increased due to the number of criminals currently attempting to follow heroes to their base of operations
JLA *experiencing whiplash*: what.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*undercover Brucie and members of the JLA at a party*
Bruce *pretending to be drunk wandering over to the flash*: excuse moi but can I get your attention for just a momento😊
Flash *completely disconnecting Bruce and bats*: yeah uh sure sir are you alright
Batman *quiet but deep Batman voice*: there’s an assassin in the rafters
to keep up appearances, bruce asked the batkids to find reasons to excuse their various bumps and bruises:
dick was easy. gymnastics and acrobatics run deep within his veins and it’s always his “party trick”, so they just let the public come up with an answer themselves.
jason, mysterious as he is, never addressed his bumps and bruises. the public have settled on underground cage fighting.
tim’s was skateboarding and being “himself”. tim knows how he appears to the public, and as much as it pains his ego for people to see him in such a way, clumsiness fit his charming, dorky, public persona.
damian needs no excuse as he is a ‘rambunctious little ankle biter’, so bruce just lets damian straight up tell people shit like “i was engaged in battle with a duel wielding madman” and then says “kids and their wild imaginations, amiright?”.
steph insisted on fencing even though bruce argued that she would not realistically get many black eyes from fencing. she just tells people she’s very bad at it.
cass’ are from ballet duets.
duke just says “there was a spider” with no further context.
harper’s go to line is “you should see the other guy”.
and bruce is basically barbie so he comes up with a new sport each time he’s asked. and people believe it every goddamn time without question; because what else would a billionaire do with their time other than unicycle hockey and chess boxing?
I love the idea floating around tumblr that both Bruce and Dick introduce Jason like he’s five because he is “my son” or “my baby brother” to them and he just surprises everyone with his tank build.
Might I pose that Jason is so used to it that it doesn’t even clock for him anymore
Dick Grayson at work: Hey I’m sorry, do you think you could watch my baby brother for a sec? Bruce can’t really pick him up rn.
His coworker: oh! Okay don’t even worry about it but for how long? I’m not the best with kids
Dick half listening: you’ll be alright! he loves to read so he won’t be on your toes … just keep an eye on your squad car keys… oh! There he is!
A six foot, 225 pound linebacker of a man walks in: hey 👋
Coworker: 👁👄👁
Dick: jaylad! I brought you a book you might like! This is my coworker, they’re gonna be here for a while, if you need anything, within reason, ask them okay? I’ll be right back buddy.
Coworker: 👁👄👁
Jason, carding through his book: …would he get fired if I drove one of the police cars without permission?
If not is it like a fine or like, jail time?
Dick motherhens every one of his siblings but Jason the most
Like they’re all enjoying their Doritos, orange slices and caprisuns on a roof after a long patrol and Duke is like
…WAIT A DANG MINUTE
I wanted to have a picture of wfa-style kon in full superboy attire, but then I got the idea of magazine cover and I couldn’t get it out of my head, so here we are…
part 0, i guess…
Batman vs BLÅHAJ
[image ID: drawing of Batman and Damian Wayne. Damian is holding up the large ikea shark plush and Batman is spraying it with a pink cloud of Shark Repellent. Batman is turned slightly to glare at the audience. His head is circular, with large ears, and pitch black. Damian's in his newer grey and red outfit. End ID]
