shitpostbot finally using its sentience for good and ending transphobia, i see

It’s been a week and we still don’t have a syllabus and I’m not entirely convinced my science prof has any clue what’s going on

please.

That is the exact spot my parents found a stray kitten. Nice little addition to the family, but would have been a terrible addition to the pavement had she not been very vocal OTL

No joke, the place where that cat is resting in this picture is called a “dead cat hole” it’s an automotive term.  Don’t believe me, look it up.

This is also where I found a stray cat, she was up in there during a thunderstorm and I begged my dad to let me being her inside and that’s the story of how I got my first cat.

Please don’t skip over this without reading it and making a mental note. Even if you don’t have a car, tell your parents or whoever, and make sure to do this. You think that’ll never happen but that’s what everyone thought who had this happen and didn’t check, and that poor cold cat met with a terribly sad end.

REBLOG WHETHER YOU LIKE CATS OR NOT

My little sister accidentally killed our family cat this way. It was horrible. Save yourself and a cat some pain by just being a little more attentive.

DON’T SCROLL

Have people lost their minds completely???

imagine looking at the pope saying “we should feed the hungry & clothe the naked & care for the poor” and saying “that’s heresy” i’m

WHAT

call that layin tailpipe

cucked by a truck!

may 2020 bring you your “i’m doing better than i ever was” moment

this didn’t age well

well it definitely didn’t

Source

if you c*nsor anything in a post you are l*gally required to put all of the omitted v*wels at the end as a footn*te

*eeoo

Okay th*n. *f you’r* sure about th*s. 

Old Macd*nald had a farm.  

*eieio

i’m going to shatter you like glass

when you get validation and reassurance

There’s no reason for anyone over the age of 21 to be having a conversation with anyone under the age of 18

“For the last time son, I wont talk to you.”

“im sorry students, but this is the last time im gonna say this. Stop trying to talk to me”

“I’m afraid I can’t hire you, I cannot speak to you.”

“I would tell that kid to get off my lawn, but society isn’t ready yet”

“my new born baby just said it’s first word but I’m not trying to hear that” 

“hello 911?!? help my parents are in a burnin build-”

“i dunnoo kid….you sound just a little young and….idk…. im not really feelin too comfortable with this” *hangs up*

Dear Diary,

I started going on tumblr again after several days with little activity. There is a frog on a unicycle now. He is not the smiling frog or the frog sipping tea. He is a new frog. Every day is a new gift.

ive never seen snow someone describe it to me

smells like water

its like im there

do british people really eat beans on toast as a meal

in america is everyone ignorant

it was just a question damn no need to get hostile go eat some beans on toast

abolish summer 

Yeah

Fuck Gilgamesh

Misread this

Upper Paleolithic hunter-gatherers around 50,000 years ago

cat tummies are a temptation of biblical proportions

my cat: if you put your hands anywhere near me i will cage you in the real-life saw trap from which there is no painless escape

me: chumby kitty tumby…