Look. I know a slightly chewed up flower isn’t quite on par with those brandy barrels alpine rescue dogs purportedly have, but someone might need an emergency flower or something. It could happen.

— but if she asked, i’d beg for her to destroy me // k.s.

Love it 😍

baby meeting cat for the first time

Cat person right there. 

Look at that tiny rectangle.

thsi is one of the top 3 most important videos i’ve ever seen

The Importance of Subtlety as a Trans Ally

PREFACE: I AM A TRANS WOMAN, THIS IS ADVICE FOR PEOPLE WHO WOULD CONSIDER THEMSELVES TRANS ALLIES

i was talking about this to my girlfriend just a few minutes ago and she said that it would be good to share this on tumblr, so i will. i will also do my best to make this post as legible and accessible as possible

the situation we were talking about is a personal example, when i was dating a trans man. i would talk about him a lot to my grandma, and she didn’t like the way he was treating me and would often misgender him just to make a point.

now, i tried reacting to that by explaining to her that just because someone has done bad things, that’s no excuse to misgender them. my grandmother reacted defensively, which is a common issue when correcting someone who has misgendered another person.

later on, i decided to try a more subtle approach. instead of correcting her every time she misgendered him, i would just unwaveringly refer to him by his appropriate pronouns and eventually out of context she would cease to misgender him to keep things from becoming confusing.

a bigger example than that is at my job. many of my coworkers do not misgender me, at least enough such that i could work an entire shift a few days a week with only the people who will not misgender me. i was told back in 2013 that i was not allowed to correct customers on my pronouns, by the way.

so this put me in a predicament. my coworkers who had supported me from the jump all would insist upon referring to me by my appropriate pronouns, such as, 

at that juncture, the misgendering usually stops, because most people are either too afraid, too busy, or too apathetic to cause a scene when they are one against many others.

here, here’s another example

so as a corollary to the whole, “just because trans people don’t  correct someone on their pronouns doesn’t mean they werent misgendered” notion, if you see that happening, as an ally, step in and do your part following the examples i gave in a way that wont make the trans person feel like a spectacle.

like i said, subtlety. treat it as entirely normal; do not get angry, do not change your tone of voice. i italicized and capitalized corrections in here just for a visual aid, but do not change your tone that much.

tl;dr if you’re an ally and your trans friend is being misgendered, most people will react defensively if you stop conversation to correct them, so if you feel that that is likely to happen, choose subtlety and just construct sentences in which you can use the person’s correct pronouns demonstratively.

NOTE: this is by no means a catch-all statement. there are many exceptions, but i beg of you please have the good sense to know when to and when not to use this approach. it can do more harm than good in a situation where the person doing the misgendering can become more violent beyond that, and subtlety in such a case would not be appropriate.

I wish my co-workers did this..only @kirstenparker13 and I love it every time she does :)

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

My first (and last) open letter to her.

I don’t know what I did this time, but I’m sorry. I don’t know why you suddenly removed me from all social media, but I did notice. Even though we haven’t talked in a few months I would still check to see if you were on, hoping that some day out of the blue I’d receive a message, a rant…something. It never happened but even now, I still hope. And it did hurt to know you’ve decided to cut all ties. I’ll respect your decision. Perhaps we weren’t meant to continue on as friends. But I will say this: I fucking miss you. You were the first person who ever truly made me feel comfortable being myself. You were my first real good friend. I miss the nights we’d stay up until 7am chatting online. I miss laughing with you when we saw Brian in the halls-I miss all of our inside jokes. I miss how entertaining history class was with you. I learned so much just by being your friend, and I’m grateful for it. I miss how we could simply look at each other and know what the other was thinking. I miss those nights in which we wouldn’t talk, but just sat in the car listening to shitty music on full blast. I know it wasn’t perfect. There were faults on both of our sides. I wasn’t the best friend. I kept secrets because I was scared to lose you. I was scared to admit them to myself. I never told you when I was really sad because I didn’t want you to see me as weak or attention-seeking. Every time you suddenly stopped talking, I tore myself up inside. It felt like a piece of myself had gone missing. I tried to pick up the pieces as best as I could, but like I said, I’m not perfect. I grew resentful. I grew bitter. I grew jealous. I wanted you to feel the same pain I’d felt. And that was so, so wrong of me. I’m sorry I didn’t try to console you during the trip, but honestly, it just felt like you hated me. It seemed like you were always glaring, and then the adults pulled me aside multiple times because they thought I was bullying you. After that, I kept my distance. But I’m still sorry. I’m sorry it had to end this way. I’m sorry we couldn’t have been friends that checked up on each other from time to time. I’m sorry that, whenever I think of something that reminds me of you, I can’t just tell you. I’m sorry I haven’t moved on yet, but you can probably understand why. You’ll always hold a special place in my heart, even if this is how it ends between us. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to find someone who gets me as well as you did, which is why I’ll always be grateful for the time we were friends. If you do end up reading this by some random chance and you want to reconnect, don’t hesitate. I want to talk again. I want to at least say hello. But if not, I understand. And I hope you have an amazing life. After all you’ve been through, you deserve it man. You deserve the world-and I know you’re gunna rock it.

“I want a Disney film where the protagonist has a disability saves the day and is loved by all”  

“I want a Disney film where the protagonist isn’t conventionally attractive and that doesn’t define their worth or ever stop them from being amazing”

“I want a Disney film where the main guy and the girl end up as friends”

“I want a Disney film with representation one that focuses on issues that are relevant in today’s world”

“I want a Disney film that has animation that is jaw dropping and irrefutably gorgeous”

“I want a Disney film where the Villain is terrifying and all too realistic” 

“I want a Disney film that deals with complex issues” 

“I want a Disney film with musical numbers that give me chills”

The Hunchback of Notre Dame shall always be the most underrated animated film from Disney anyone that has ever graced the silver screen.  

One of my favorite Disney movies

The first pictures of “Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find them”

Here’s to all the really fat girls

here’s to the girls called obese

here’s to the girls sizes 20w and up

here’s to the girls who can’t see their toes

here’s to the girls who are too fat for those “everyone is beautiful post”

here’s to the girls who have never been skinny

here’s to the girls with double chins

here’s to the girls over 200

here’s to the girls over 300

you are beautiful

you are loved

I am here for you

Over 200 represent!

over 300 ♡

I love this a lot more than I should 💕