Kira666

favourite selfship dynamic ever has GOT to be "this is an objectively evil character But What If I Was Their Favourite" . literally SO fucking real . and i AM their favourite . they told me so and they would never lie to me. sorry that they lied TO YOU but they wouldnt do that to me. im just built different

YES this character sucks and YES theyre manipulative and a murderer and overall just not a good person. but im making them a home cooked meal. so. maybe thats a you problem

i couldnt fix them BUT i can kiss them . maybe thatll calm them down

Oh? They manipulate you? And do all kinds of heinous things to you? Sounds like a skill issue. They got me breakfast in bed.

😭😭😭😭 The comments-

just a fuckin big bird

As a kid, when your parents are poor, you're poor. If they don't have money, that means none of you have money. But if someone's parents are rich, that doesn't necessarily mean the kid is. Sometimes rich peoples' kids aren't rich kids, they're just some rich freak's exotic pets that can talk but aren't allowed to.

That’s… not how class works

OK, so- my partner was adopted by a rich woman when he was a baby. She's from a prominent family, practically royalty where we're from. She certainly had the means to send him to fancy private school, give him good food, nice clothes/toys, premium healthcare... she chose not to. According to her he was lucky to be "adopted out of poverty" at all and should have been content with what she deigned to give him. And she reminded him of this constantly, all through his childhood.

She dangled the promise of uni in exchange for good behavior and good grades- with terms and conditions, of course. And filling her laundry list of demands was something like pulling teeth whilst jumping through hoops. In the end, did he get to go to uni? Of course not. (And certainly being queer/trans on top of it all did not help things whatsoever).

He cut her off after high school, and when I met him a year ago he had been working as (the equivalent of) an UberEats driver for a living for the last few years, including through the pandemic. (Sixteen hours a day for the equivalent of $6 (six) USD, not including the gas for his shitty rundown scooter; caught COVID twice, suffers from chronic fatigue to this day).

And to this day he still has to be selective about which of our ~leftist anarcho-commie~ friends he divulges this part of his background to- cos all they hear is "raised rich" and then suddenly he's not One of Them because "well teeeeechncially :^) you're from the oppressing class...". Like.... shit, man!

Social rules don't mean shit when it comes to abusive parents. Even rich ones.

Probably especially rich ones.

people are totally on board with the concept of "sufficiently rich people are above the law, and this is bad" but refuse to connect that to the concept of "this also includes laws that protect children from abuse and exploitation"

like we understand "the ruling classes get and maintain their wealth through cruel exploitation of those less powerful" and we can't wrap our heads around "a lifetime of this cruel and merciless behavior being valorized by your peers probably doesn't predispose you to suddenly changing gears once you have a helplessly dependent child that's totally under your control."

like yeah the rich are our enemies in this ongoing class war, absolutely, it's an Us or Them situation to save the planet. but if you don't give a shit about saving the enemy's children too, i don't think very highly of your motivation or your methods.

This is also why means testing is bullshit, especially in education, especially in higher education. The child of a rich person attending a public university on public money is less likely to be a spoiled elite taking advantage of resources they don't need, and more likely to be a young person who has finally gotten out from under the thumb of an abusive and exploitative authority figure and is taking steps to build a life that isn't dependent on agreeing with their family's politics.

In what world is tall muscular man not conventionally attractive

We've all been down here too long. I truly think there's a chunk of tumblr's population that can no longer survive sunlight.

women will say “hear me out” and show u a photo of pyramid head and then tumblr users will go “this is a perfectly normal man and an ice cold take”

A couple job interview hacks from someone who has to give a job interview every single goddamn day: (disclaimer: this goes for my process and my company’s process, other companies and industries might be different)

1. There are a few things I check and a few questions I ask literally just to figure out if you can play the game and get along with others in a professional setting. Part of the job I interview for is talking to people, and we work in teams. So if you can’t “play the game” a tiny bit, it’s not going to work. Playing the game includes:

- Why do you want to work here? (just prove that you googled the company, tell me like 1 thing about us, I just want to know that you did SOME kind of preparation for this interview)

- Are you wearing professional clothing? I don’t need a suit just don’t show up in a ratty t-shirt and sweatpants.

- Are you able to speak respectfully and without dropping f-bombs all the time? Not because I’m offended but because I don’t want to be reported to HR if you wind up on my team.

- Can you follow simple directions in an interview?

2. Stop telling me protected information. I don’t want to know about what drugs or medications you’re on, I don’t want to know about you being sick, I don’t want to know if you’re planning to have children soon, I don’t want to know anything about your personal life other than “can you do the job?” 

3. When we ask, “What questions do you have for me?” here are my favorites I’ve heard: - What does the day-to-day look like for a member of your team?

- If one of your team members was not performing up to his usual standard, what steps would you take to correct that?

- What can I start doing now to accelerate my learning process in this job?

- What are some reservations you have about me as a candidate? (be ready for this emotionally….it will REALLY help you in the future, and I’ve had people save themselves from a No after this, but can be hard to hear)

- In your opinion, what skills and qualities does the ideal candidate for this job possess?

- What advice would you give to a new hire in this position/someone who wanted to break into this industry, as someone who has worked here for a while?

Those are just my tips off-the-cuff. I work in sales in marketing/SAAS, so these can be very different depending on the industry, but I wish the people I interview could read this before they show up. 

Yes STOP TELLING PEOPLE PROTECTED INFORMATION IN INTERVIEWS. do not volunteer anything including “I’m currently pregnant.”

Not only is it okay for nonbinary people to have boobs and like their boobs. It’s also okay for nonbinary people to want boobs or to want bigger boobs. It’s okay for nonbinary people to dislike having a flat chest or to wish their boobs were bigger. It’s okay for nonbinary people to seek out medications and surgeries that will give them their desired silhouette. Nonbinary people who enjoy padding and wearing push up bras, should feel free to do so. Wanting boobs is fantastic and nonbinary people should feel free to celebrate boobs and to be excited for boobs. Wanting boobs is just as normal a thing for a nonbinary person to want as wanting a flat chest. 

official boob post

Do not cite the old magic to me. I was there when it was written.

Sometimes I look at the Big Hair People in the comics I wrote back then and have to remind myself that, actually, they were, if anything, understated.

Okay but how did they all get their hair like this? I'd do anything to have this kind of volume.

It's permed, then heavily teased, then sprayed with about half a bottle of Aquanet while you blow dry the hair with your head upside down, then you blow dry the bangs while combing them higher and higher and spraying the other half of the can of Aquanet. You have to add so much hairspray that your hair feels lacquered.

I'm not even sure they make hairspray with that kind of hold anymore?

to get that kind of volume you have to be willing to put a hole in the ozone layer

Huge fan of when my speech patterns rub off on people enjoy when thay happens

NEVERMIND MY GRANDMA JUST SAID SKILL ISSUE

is she single

tell her i said, "hey"

I SHOWED HER THIS she said "thats cute i like that" and "just dont post my picture okay" 😭

thats okay im sure she is beautiful and i love her very much

thats okay im sure

she is beautiful and i

love her very much

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

online communities are so strange because people slip away so easily. you can be on here for years, folding people you've never met into the fabric of your daily life, and then they disappear, leaving only ghost posts scattered across tumblr behind. or their blog stays dormant, for weeks, months, years, until you're only still following them because you remember that they love sunflowers or they were kind to you when they didn't have to be or the last thing they posted was sad and raw and you still worry about them sometimes.

and sometimes they come back when you least expect it, years later, even, and there's this sudden rush of relief like there you are, there you are, even though you barely knew each other.

there's a strange kind of love to it. i don't know you and i want to hold your hand across miles and time zones and oceans. i can still see the imprint of you in this community you left. you don't anyone will notice or care when you're gone, but we notice and we care and we wish you well.

i hope you're all okay out there. i hope the sun is shining on your face and you are breathing deeply. i miss you.

I actually think about this so much you have no idea.

I mourn every friend that's gone off somewhere

I actually

think about this so much you

have no idea.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

told my parents i miss archaeology and my mom was, very sympathetically, like: “do you want to dig holes in the garden?” and i was like. yes. i want to dig holes in the garden.

my wife, after reading this to me aloud: It’s your people! …do you want me to break a clay pot for you to put back together?

me, burying my face in my hands: Maybe…?

These are both moods, but unfortunately I am primarily a bioarchaeologist. (IE, I specialize in digging up old human skeletons.) And, uh, home-made bioarchaeology is tragically discriminated against by law enforcement.

Only if you get caught

This whole post took an unexpected turn

Out of work paleontologists can take a page out of the Girl Scouts handbook and eat a chicken, clean the bones, encase them in a mud and plaster mix, then chip it back out. Which is legitimately how Girl Scouts earn their paleontology badge.

… I rebuilt my chicken by modeling muscles back onto the bones using clay, then putting skin on it and making it look like a dinosaur…. 

Perfect. Exactly the right way to add a part 2 to this project.

enrichment

How do I explain Plato’s allegory of the cave to quarantined archeologists?

::wheeze::

So one of the Discord servers I'm in lets users freely change the name of voice channels, so for all the video games I have this gag where I change its name into some stupid alternative. So for example, Helldivers became 'Infernoplungers', Apex Legends became 'Top Stories', Dota 2 became 'Safety of the Seniors: The Sequel', and Lethal Company became 'Fatal Corporation'.

Usually, people have no problem finding the right voice channel. They just grumble about it being corny and go about their video games as normal. However, there's one channel that's gone unused since I renamed it, called 'Court of Celebrities'. Nobody knew what it was supposed to be, and I had completely forgotten what it originally was.

Anyway, some time ago I was thinking about this while at work instead of paying attention to the meeting (as you do) and reached a breakthrough while lost in thought.

This unfortunately led to my boss asking "Okay, so does anyone have any questions or concerns?" to be immediately followed up by me blurting out loud "Oh fuck that's it! It's League of Legends!"

just put laundry in the washer. there better not be any wet laundry after this

bad news

just put laundry in the dryer. there better not be unfolded laundry after this

what the hell..

putting some clothes on. there better not be any dirty laundry after this

you guys are not gonna believe this

you: suck my dick me, an intellectual: inhale my richard

here it is! the post that started a “me, an intellectual” hell frenzy, and is officially ⭐ the worst post of 2016 ⭐

you: the worst post of 2016

me, an intellectual: modern art

Look everyone look

nothing makes me go "ooooh we are NOT the same" quite like reading some post about how people talk with their parents about their interests. what do you mean you told your father about stevebucky. what do you mean he asked further questions

"i sent this article to my relative" "mom & i were discussing dialectical materialism" you navigate the world with such a different set of parameters than i

as a kid i thought i would graduate from kid problems like cleaning my room to adult problems like jobs and taxes. but instead i have a job and taxes and still have to clean my room. cleaning my room is a lifetime problem. i will never stop having to put my markers away before bedtime. this is a rude way for aging to work.

Might wanna flip that frown upside down there.

You're an adult, and you still get to play with your markers. Yeah, you need to put 'em away, but that's because you need to make sure they're properly capped and all accounted for, so that you have all of them to play with again later on.

You're an adult and you know how expensive that shht gets.

But you are still allowed to play.

You’re an adult and

you know how expensive that

shht gets.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[video description: a tik tok by iwwano. It shows them carving into a large wooden block (roughly a foot long and almost as tall). They carve a snake coiled up, then show a second carved wooden snake in a slightly different but still relaxed pose. The video cuts to a different wood block, and the person takes small shavings off the top. They do the same with other blocks of varying colours. Then it’s revealed that the shavings are scales. They carefully affix the scales to the two snakes, one becoming brown and the other yellow and white. The snakes look much more realistic with the scales. The person then affixes eyes and tongues, and displays the finished pieces. End Description]

Love how tumblr has its own folk stories. Yeah the God of Arepo we’ve all heard the story and we all still cry about it. Yeah that one about the woman locked up for centuries finally getting free. That one about the witch who would marry anyone who could get her house key from her cat and it’s revealed she IS the cat after the narrator befriends the cat.

Might I add:

The defeat of the wizard who made people choose how they’d be to be executed

The woman who raised the changeling alongside her biological child

The human who died of radiation poisoning after repairing the spaceship

The adventures of a space roomba

Cinderella finding Araura (and falling in love)

I don’t know a snappy description but the my nemesis cynthia story certainly lives in my head

hilariously, these are almost all in my fic tag. so, a compiled list from the notes (and some extras):

I am in love with you /p

What about the one with the princess locked in a tower learning to become a wizard? That’s lived in my mind for years and I haven’t seen it in a long time

Oh, love that story, adding it to the list: 20. Princess Talia and adding a few more contenders 21. Thyme 22. The Monster under the Bed 23. A Meaningful Death 24. Humans are unstoppable…until they aren’t 25. The Monster under the Fridge 26. Antler Guy 27. Cleric slamming healing spells

Adding a few more I remembered:  28. The Frog and the Scorpion 29. HSTHETE 30. The First Witch in the World 31. Imagine that Oceans were replaced by Forests  32. A Faerie taking a Name  33. The Dragon on the Farm  34. Synovus & Menace  35. Raising the Anti-Christ  36. Aliens vs. Flora & Fauna of Earth (pretty sure there are even more additions to the original post but I had this one saved)  37. Doctors without Borders…in Space!  38. The Villain-Wrangler  39. The Last Contact  40. The 100 Parent-Point Children  41. And the Heavens Wept  42. The Night Gentleman  43. The Serpent God and their Priestess 

44. No One Showed Up for the Last Storytime

Wow! @writing-prompt-s contributing to like half of these!

I can hardly take any credit for these stories! But I love sharing them. Unfortunately I cannot read all the prompt responses so please tag me if you want me to reblog a story that resonated with you so I can give it a little boost :)

boops you aromantically