Acne sucks
I know I haven't written in a bit but iv been too lazy. I'm starting to realize that I want the type of dad that cares and is a big lovable guy or atleast one that isn't creepy or has redeemable qualities but mine is just the opposite. His car smells awful but theres nothing I can do about it other than rolling down the window. He's so cold the only thing we share is blood. When i'm sick he doesn't care so I end up doing everything myself I know i need to grow up but I can't tell if i'm a child or not I mean my age is 14 but my mind is like 20. Im failing school and my friends , at school im the loud annoying girl. It seems everyone has their best friend like in PE they know who to go with but I'm always the one left I have friends and their friends with each other but they seem to like each other more than me. I want a fake life were the dad is the cool dad but all he does is smoke, I bet he drinks just not in front of me. He vapes in the house but theirs fans so it's fine. The house feels empty it's to clean, theres no love in it. The animals ate the only things keeping me sane and all they do is fight each other. I want an animal that allows me to hug and cry with it. Their Houdini but she's intolerant, caramellos scared of the dogs do I truly have nobody. It feels like the days are endlessly repeating it's the same everyday. I play up the stupid friend persona so they don't leave me. If i acted like this all the time I'd truly be lonely. It's in words I can't describe, no word is how I feel. It's not sad or lonely or in despair. It's like theres a hole in ever part of my body and I fill it up. My stomach is full of things I love while my brain is full of personas. My legs are full of makeup and my arms are full of blood. It seems to keep me ok for the most part but I don't know if im ok.
It's almost Christmas time and here's a list I want:
Sanrio Sticker's
And ur mom cause she's a milf <3