King Ennui

Everyone wanted to be thicc but nobody wanted to be fat. Everyone wanted the dad bod but nobody wanted to be fat. Everyone wants fat mommy milkers but nobody wants mommy to be fat. Everyone wants to be a bear but not like, an actual fat bear. You get what i’m saying

Everyone wants the mistique of fatness or use the language of fatness to denote hotness without actually being fat or acknowledging that fat people or fatness can just be hot.

Love how you can feel his sanity slipping away…

Great news everyone. There was a kitten wandering in the drive thru at work and my inner warrior cats kid tried to be a hero and capture him.

I have now suffered multiple puncture wounds and have to go to the emergency room.

Me: I shall become his mother and gain his trust

Me talking to an animal control officer five minutes later: he is a nasty horrid little boy and I am bleeding heavily

Animal control officer on the phone: So he’s in your car with you?

Me: Um. It’s his car now and he’s very mad at me.

Second animal control officer: oh you captured him and got him in your car? He’s friendly?

Me, my right hand completely wrapped in paper towels: wouldn’t say that

Urgent Care Nurse: Wow it’s strange he managed to get you so many times.

Me: I uh. Did not let go.

You vibe as someone prone to toxic relationships

People on tumblr will just say anything huh.

Oh cmon, "he hurt me a lot cause i couldn't let go" absolutely has double interpretation.

Me, holding a cat (of unknown gender) as it repeatedly digs its little teeth deep into my flesh: Is this… too… yuri?

This website is free

We pay in other ways.

in 1978, sanrio made a crocodile called big challenges. he was never used for anything. 

he believes that you can overcome your own big challenges !

Link / Link

- Richard Beale, 1784

Uni's magical Mario Galaxy adventure..

this genuinely made me so happy

New Stardew comic for u 😌

Previous comic is here

ratatouille porn parody where he tastes the pussy and then his eyes widen and the camera zooms back in time to his college years in the idyllic french countryside

This part

I thought this was a @beemovieerotica post before I noticed the username

the CRITIC or the RAT tastes the pussy???

The critic tastes the pussy, the rat controls the pussy by the pubes

In what world is tall muscular man not conventionally attractive

We've all been down here too long. I truly think there's a chunk of tumblr's population that can no longer survive sunlight.

women will say “hear me out” and show u a photo of pyramid head and then tumblr users will go “this is a perfectly normal man and an ice cold take”

literally any upper middle class tiktok self-identified ‘that girl’ in a pastel workout set with a thirteen step skincare routine and a green juice is a million times closer to being patrick bateman irl than any self-identified sigma film bro

op managed to swing a bat at 2 hornets nests in one go

Here I stand

Yup

We’re not making it out of this one

when i meet a Masculine girl with strange demonic behavior a rancid aura oud note perfume homeless and gay looking clothes and has all the dead beat alcoholic father qualities

She could wipe the floor with him

She could make him like it.

The spirit of Diogenes is alive and well

This is funny, obviously, but even if you don't go to the extreme of the example above, this is a separate seat for one person, with a back and 4 legs:

But it's not a chair. It's a bar stool.

This, however, are all chairs:

Each one is missing at least one component of the chair definition above.

So like... it's almost like strict definitions are exclusionary.

Reblog to hit a transphobe with a separate seat for one person

Reblog to hit a

transphobe with a separate

seat for one person

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.