bitcoin is crashing again lol
why is this funny?
kindness is a choice 💖
and i choose to be a gigantic hater 💖
Crunchy and salty??
Veggie and Fresh?
With ridges
Chocolate 😂 (sorry for ruining the jokes yall got going in the notes)
one day nicole beharie gon make me her wife
She preggo now
you buggin. fuck outta here
no lie i’ll body somebody over this. turn your location on dog. playing fucking games
this post is untampered evidence that niggas don’t want to see you shine or aspiring for greatness. look at how I was minding my business speaking to the universe and son came out the bushes with a damn lie. unprovoked.
I used to have geese so here’s a tip for everyone:
If a goose is attacking you, don’t run. No matter what, stand your ground. They can fly but when they’re mad, they don’t usually try to fly. Hold your hands in front of you, ready to grasp. When the goose gets close, grab it by the neck bit closest to the head and squeeze. Not tight enough to choke the goose, but tight enough so they can’t break free. You can hold them until they calm down or just do the next step right away. The next step is literally just to chuck them as far as possible and run for your life. It makes the goose know you’re in charge and you have a better chance of getting away. Trust me I’ve done this so many times that I’ve lost count
I can’t tell if this is a shitpost or actual advice. But I do know geese are the fucking worst.
racingbarakarts
Actual advice! Just yeet a goose
Yeet the geese
racingbarakarts
I’ve been reading the replies to this so here’s an update!
- DO NOT KICK A GOOSE. Geese are very important for nature as they maintain insect populations and they help pick weeds that try to kill useful plants! Geese are good, they’re just grumpy. Never kick one because you could fatally injure them. They do not have the bone structure to survive a strong kick.
- I had to deal with this a lot because my family bred geese. Geese are not happy about their eggs being taken so after you take one, they remember for their whole lives. We had a farm, we did what we had to do in order to survive. We loved our geese and our geese loved us, just not when we were taking their babies.
- Do not kill Geese just because they’re mean. Please
- Yes you could crawl towards them, but that only works if it’s one goose. If it’s more than one attacking you, you can yeet them as they get close.
- This post was about white geese, which is what we bred, but you can do this for Canadian geese too! Because attacking a Canadian goose can get you a fine and even jail time, this is a much nicer approach to being attacked by a goose.
- Also for some reason a lot of replies are saying this can break a goose’s neck???? It can’t??? Don’t spread lies. Geese are built to be picked up by the neck and they have tons of muscles in their necks to support being thrown. This is how they fight each other. It doesn’t hurt them. Just stuns them.
- DO NOT DO THIS TO SWANS!!!!!!! SWANS ARE EVIL IF YOU ARE BEING ATTACKED BY A SWAN JUST ACCEPT YOUR DEATH. THEY WILL NOT BE STUNNED. THEY WILL NOT FORGET. THEY WILL FOLLOW YOU HOME AND MURDER YOU AND YOUR FAMILY. SWANS ARE DEMONS
Actually, I have picked up a swan by just, slotting in under my arm; once their wings are held in place they just sorta hiss a bit and accept their fate. It’s how wildlife centres and rspca deal with them. They just use swan-bags, I’M NOT kidding, that completely neutralizes them. LOOK AT ALL THESE DEMONIC BULLIES BEING DEFEATED BY BEING CHIHUAHUA-HANDBBAGGED.
In fairness, in MY CASE, this was a juvenile male, but old enough that the dad had evicted it from the lake. He was in my way, hissing and refusing to move; and if you hiss at me, that’s a challenge, baby!
Most birds will accept their date once you have their wings (geese will, in my experience, chill once you have them under an arm too, I pick them up like that). They transport peafowl in sacks like that too:
This post is a journey
bird straitjackets
i will never not call ikea bags “swan bags” from now on
one of my new coworkers told me they went on a date and i asked how they met and they were like “oh they just messaged me on instagram telling me i was cool and thought we’d get along so we met up” like wow . how great it must be to just live that freely
People out here not overthinking or anything, must be nice!
