Want cranberry juice

Fuck blue lives

Me waking up vs my first coherent thought of the day

Taptptappataptapttaptap

let me in or i eat your window

Loose,

Footloose,

All of your feet are loose.

Feet,

Loose feet,

You’re going to lose your feet

How to draw a fist! 

oH MY GOD. wHAT.

The last Twilight movie comes out this month. It's time for a Robert Pattinson Tumblr roundup!

I think we should all celebrate by taking a moment to appreciate Robert Pattinson’s attitude and I’m laughing so much right now.

JUST ALL THAT HE IS.

I mean 

LOOK

I just

I’m going to miss this

the last twilight movie came out in 2012. it is now 2018. i just want to know who the hell reblogged this 6 year old post onto my dash. because i love you

It actually made me go from hating the actors to loving them once I realized they thought the books and movies were as shitty as I thought they were

@bennygal16

My question is why did you sign up to play the role if you hate it so much? I mean this is funny but STILL.

because

I would let a movie studio wax me and use me as a surfboard for a fraction of that bank. I don’t even remotely question his motives.

Understandable. Have a great day.

Laika: 1954-1957

Opportunity Rover: 2004-2019

This flower is called the Clitoria and is my new favorite plant

$5 that female scientists found this

$10 that male scientists are still looking for it.

I really can’t believe I’ve been on this hell site for 8 years

Impart me in your wisdom of ancient times

one time there was a tumblr user with the url “pizza” and she would just comment on any text post about pizza saying “omg that’s me” and then we found out she had an entire tag dedicated to saying the n word

it’s official velma dinkley started the mommy kink back in 2004

Exactly

So one of our new vocabulary words is “malus”, meaning “bad”, and I asked my students if they could think of any English derivatives, telling them that just about any English word that begins with M-A-L is going to mean something “bad”.

I’m expecting stuff like: malice, malcontent, malnourished, or even malware or Maleficent.

Instead I get this one girl in the back of the room say “male” with the most dead-eyed expression.

This has the same energy as two years ago when another student said she remembered “vir” meant “man” because “it looks like virus, and men are a virus”.

One of my Latin students, whenever I’d ask if they wanted a couple extra minutes to review before a test, would always say, “No, we die like men.” And so finally I asked her why it was always ‘like men’. She said, “We die like men, unprepared and useless.”

getting sad at night for no reason is my best talent

i’m into really low commitment hangouts like lying on the floor near each other or falling asleep together or falling into an endless void together

i love when fanfiction describes male orgasm simply as

“he exploded”

just like

hm. wish i was a rat living in a sewer.