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Hell If I Know What This Is

@killerunicorn3

Genderfluid Aegosexual Lesbian
It’s been a couple of years since I’ve been back on this app and I arrived to 69 notifications
Noice

I'm a red-blooded corn-fed AMERICAN MAN and if I wanna get my tits chopped off that's my god-given right as a tax payer.

Why should the government tell me what my gender is? Back in my day we earned our own genders uphill in a blizzard both ways.

Well I think this post has started reaching people that don’t get the joke. It was nice knowing you all.

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No but this is hilarious and reminds me of a galaxy-brained shirt I saw the other day

Walk into the nearest Hobby Lobby wearing this and watch people begin to disintegrate

I want that to become my 4th of July shirt. I want to wear that shirt to the family barbecue so bad.

There’s so much to unpack here:

  • Pack of Beakers
  • Goth Beaker
  • The Beaker snitching and pointing out the photographer
  • The Beaker that’s about to unload on the photographer
  • The terminator strut before the ass whooping and you know he’s moving at speed because of the blur
  • The ominous feeling that you know this is 3 in the morning

good content

this is somehow already a classic short video

This looks like it was shot in 2019 and 2006 all at once

Cursed fact about salmon sharks please 🥺

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salmon sharks are small adorable relatives of the great white!

they do occasionally beach themselves, at which point they almost always get mistaken as “baby great whites” so if you see a clickbaity news article that goes LOCAL COUPLE RESCUES BABY GREAT WHITE FROM SANDBAR, chances are it was actually a salmon shark!

they can’t help it, they’re just babey.

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this is the single most UNCURSED fact i have ever encountered

Look, I’m not saying if Herman Melville was alive today he would totally have an A03/fanfiction.net account… but that’s exactly what I’m saying.

Still went a little over my time limit for this one, but getting faster I think.

this is my dad’s FAVORITE novel and i cannot wait to share this with him

Animals With Unusual Color Mutations ❤️

ʙɪᴄᴏʟᴏʀᴇᴅ ᴘᴇᴀᴄᴏᴄᴋ

ᴋɪɴɢ ᴄʜᴇᴇᴛᴀʜ

sᴘᴏᴛʟᴇss ᴄʜᴇᴇᴛᴀʜ

ᴘɪᴇʙᴀʟᴅ ᴄʀᴏᴡ

ʙʀᴏᴡɴ ᴢᴇʙʀᴀ

sᴘᴏᴛᴛᴇᴅ ᴢᴇʙʀᴀ

ɢᴏʟᴅᴇɴ ᴢᴇʙʀᴀ

ɢᴏʟᴅᴇɴ ᴛᴀʙʙʏ ᴛɪɢᴇʀ (sᴛʀᴀᴡʙᴇʀʀʏ ᴛɪɢᴇʀ)

ʙɪᴄᴏʟᴏʀᴇᴅ ᴄᴀʀᴅɪɴᴀʟ

ʙʀᴏᴡɴ ᴘᴀɴᴅᴀ

ʙʟᴏɴᴅᴇ ᴇʟᴋ

ɢᴏʟᴅᴇɴ ᴍᴏɴɢᴏᴏsᴇ

ᴇʀʏᴛʜʀɪsᴛɪᴄ ʙᴀᴅɢᴇʀ

ᴇʀʏᴛʜʀɪsᴛɪᴄ ʀᴀᴄᴏᴏɴ

ᴏʀᴀɴɢᴇ ᴀʟɪɢᴀᴛᴏʀ

ᴘɪᴇʙᴀʟᴅ ᴍᴏᴏsᴇ

ᴘɪɴᴋ ᴅᴏʟᴘʜɪɴ

ᴘɪᴇʙᴀʟᴅ sǫᴜɪʀʀᴇʟ

ᴘɪᴇʙᴀʟᴅ ᴅᴇᴇʀ

sᴛʀᴀᴡʙᴇʀʀʏ ʟᴇᴏᴘᴀʀᴅ

ᴇʀʏᴛʜʀɪsᴛɪᴄ ʙʟᴀᴄᴋ ʙᴀᴄᴋᴇᴅ ᴊᴀᴄᴋᴀʟ

The iron hand of Götz von Berlichingen (1480-1562), a knight and mercenary who lost his right arm in a siege [640×360]

points about this -it was shot off by a cannon -he continued being a knight for over 40 years after getting the iron hand -it was delicate enough he could still write with a quill using it, which is important as he was described as a ‘warrior poet’ -after a merchant-punching life suitable for an elder scrolls protagonist he was outlawed by the holy roman empire, friends of his used a high diplomacy roll and a bribe to get him out, and he then almost immediately kidnapped a bishop -after outlaw of the holy roman empire 2 electric boogaloo was placed under house arrest in a castle he had purchased with all his quest rewards to spend the next 20 years drunk off his ass

I can’t believe you’d make this post and not mention that his poetry contains the first known usage of the phrase “lick my ass”

If you had a child by choice, you:

  • signed up for an autistic child
  • signed up for a trans child
  • signed up for a lgbq+ child
  • signed up for a mentally ill child
  • signed up for a disabled child
  • signed up for a child with "conditions"
  • signed up for a rebellious child
  • signed up for a kid. in any way, shape, or form of being, it's your child, and you signed up for it.

And you are not:

  • the victim in any of these fucking situations for gods sake

whoop there it is

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R.I.P. The 2976 American people that lost their lives on 9/11 and R.I.P. the 48,644 Afghan and 1,690,903 Iraqi and 35000 Pakistani people that paid the ultimate price for a crime they did not commit

this is the only september 11th post I’m reblogging

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Same