I cannot get this poem out of my head. It haunts me. Joyously, it haunts me. 

@maxjo

first 5 faceless emojis are how your summers gonna go

Magnus Archives fan I see

THIS IS SO FUNNY I'M SORRY

me after my 15 min break at work

me after sleeping a healthy 8 hours

me at the end of a two day weekend

taking your own advice is so hard. it’s “make bad art” this and “kill your perfectionism” that until i sit down with an idea i like. the i have to execute it perfectly Or Else

OOHHH FUUBLBLBLBLB

Sometimes I'm glad jellyfish have no central nervous system and just vibe. Can you imagine being able to think while this happens?

look Homestuck has its faults and say what you will but the “getting punched into next week. Literally.” gag where they end up literally where they would be next week, at the grocery store, is still the funniest fucking thing.

ASCII art 10,000

“It’s something to do” sIR—

Dumbasses: AI is good actually because it means the poor poor disableds can finally make an art!

Top G Paul Smith: look at this cool squirrel I made entirely on a typewriter :)

hey good news

there's a specifically designated role in the naked mole rat ecology for "guy who runs off into the wilderness and fucks their way into a stranger's house"

Y'all have no idea how absurdly strange naked mole rats are as creatures They're cold-blooded mammals that live in a eusocial structure with a queen and drones, similar to ants, bees, termites and no other mammal on the planet. They barely need to breathe, with a respiration rate low enough to let them thrive in burrows with 2% oxygen, and survive with 0 oxygen whatsoever for about 20 minutes with zero lasting effects.

They live for over 30 years, which is absurdly long for a rodent, don't grow frail with age, and are basically immune to cancer because their telomeres just never shorten.

Naked Mole Rats are rodents that attempted to evolve into bugs, failed, and unlocked the secret to immortality in the process.

No fucking way LMFAO

ellingson.tv on instagram

Found this one that checks all the boxes on r/boomerhumor.

Wow

Weirdest experience I ever had with this is with a customer at work.

It’s not an uncommon occurrence for men in their 40s and 50s to refer to their wives as “old bags”, so whenever I do the whole “Would you like a bag” spiel, there’s a 50/50 chance they will point to their wife and say “No thanks I have one right here” or say “Nah I left her at home” Or something else awful and then wink at me and call me darling or sweetheart and just make me want to be smited by god right in that second.

However there was one customer that came in and did this whole song and dance. Not out of the ordinary. What was, however, was how he then followed it up by going “I’m kidding, I’m divorced ha ha.” Then, his face drops and he turns to his friend with a look of absolute horror and goes “Wait, that’s probably why. Do you think that’s why she left me Andy? Because I said things like that?” And then proceeded to look like he was re-evaluating his whole life as his friend led him out of the store.

TL; DR = Boomers are weird and this one was given a glimpse behind the veil of self awareness in a Tesco Extra

This guy keeps getting obliterated because of those sunglasses but he refuses to stop wearing them. He's consistent, I'll give him that.

Happy International Asexuality Day!

What the fuck is the magnus archives

ID: An old-school CRT computer monitor displaying the asexual flag full screen. There is a floppy disk on the desk and a lava lamp in the background.

I am looking neither respectfully nor disrespectfully. I gaze without recognition of your form, and without understanding.

Me without my glasses

I drew the gang,

my horrible hybrid of all of them

That's what Eevee looks like halfway through evolving into Jolteon

Now that the quality of Duolingo has fallen (even more) due to AI and people are more willing to make the jump here are just some alternative apps and what languages they have:

"I just want an identical experience to DL"

Busuu (Languages: Spanish, Japanese, French, English, German, Dutch, Italian, Portuguese, Chinese, Polish, Turkish, Russian, Arabic, Korean)

"I want a good audio-based app"

Language Transfer (Languages: French, Swahili, Italian, Greek, German, Turkish, Arabic, Spanish, English for Spanish Speakers)

"I want a good audio-based app and money's no object"

Pimsleur (Literally so many languages)

Glossika (Also a lot of languages, but minority languages are free)

*anecdote: I borrowed my brother's Japanese Pimsleur CD as a kid and I still remember how to say the weather is nice over a decade later. You can find the CDs at libraries and "other" places I'm sure.

"I have a pretty neat library card"

Mango (Languages: So many and the endangered/Indigenous courses are free even if you don't have a library that has a partnership with Mango)

Transparent Language: (Languages: THE MOST! Also the one that has the widest variety of African languages! Perhaps the most diverse in ESL and learning a foreign language not in English)

"I want SRS flashcards and have an android"

AnkiDroid: (Theoretically all languages, pre-made decks can be found easily)

"I want SRS flashcards and I have an iphone"

AnkiApp: It's almost as good as AnkiDroid and free compared to the official Anki app for iphone

"I don't mind ads and just want to learn Korean"

lingory

"I want an app made for Mandarin that's BETTER than DL and has multiple languages to learn Mandarin in"

ChineseSkill (You can use their older version of the course for free)

"I don't like any of these apps you mentioned already, give me one more"

Bunpo: (Languages: Japanese, Spanish, French, German, Korean, and Mandarin)

Who wants to see my cat totally brave and not at all scared at the vet

Excellent. Here she is, being super brave: