Sorry boss I can’t come into work today I’ve come down with Female Hysteria

the fact that phones dont have little charm loops in them anymore only goes to show that humanity as we know it is on the decline

Be ready for the backlash that comes with refusing to be manipulated.

petition to make it illegal for men to yell

due to not wanting to. I will not be

I hate feeling like people are getting bored of me

You’re not here to entertain anybody

wow you’re right

old punk rock song: 1 2 3 LETS GO igkajk kg fgjdf kjgdkjh kdl kdfhgfkkhfgh swdfkjskghf ??? SHAKFJGHAUFGNHFHNDGH !!!

me: this slaps hard

this is what i think film sonic should look like

I just remembered that when I was like 6 I had a dream where I heard a very tiny “hello!” and I looked and it was this tiny white puffball and it looked like this

that was god

me: *catches myself being judgmental* me to me: i did not raise u this way

Sorry boss I can’t come into work today I’ve come down with Female Hysteria

mike’s hard look at yourself

Sorry I’m late I was touching soft moss on a stone wall

Me in job interviews

Um, no you weren’t born bisexual, you chose to watch Pirates of the Caribbean when you were 13 and fell in love with both Keira Knightly and Orlando Bloom.