Sorry boss I can’t come into work today I’ve come down with Female Hysteria
the fact that phones dont have little charm loops in them anymore only goes to show that humanity as we know it is on the decline
Be ready for the backlash that comes with refusing to be manipulated.
old punk rock song: 1 2 3 LETS GO igkajk kg fgjdf kjgdkjh kdl kdfhgfkkhfgh swdfkjskghf ??? SHAKFJGHAUFGNHFHNDGH !!!
me: this slaps hard
I just remembered that when I was like 6 I had a dream where I heard a very tiny “hello!” and I looked and it was this tiny white puffball and it looked like this
that was god
me: *catches myself being judgmental* me to me: i did not raise u this way
Sorry boss I can’t come into work today I’ve come down with Female Hysteria
Um, no you weren’t born bisexual, you chose to watch Pirates of the Caribbean when you were 13 and fell in love with both Keira Knightly and Orlando Bloom.




