i really like looking at google image searches for “firemen rescuing cats” or something because you get super cute pictures like

AND THEN THERE’S THIS ONE

“THAT’S RIGHT TWAS I that set the house ablaze!!!”

3fluffies

Dying.

ciatri

Every fucking time I know what’s at the bottom and every time I still lose my shit.

randomslasher

I’m so happy this post is back again asdlkfjsa

gayelectro

HAPPY TEN YEARS TO “TWAS I THAT SET THE HOUSE ABLAZE”

But it is, unfortunately, not this day

khuzdav

huffylemon

khuzdav

Fun fact, actually my home.

#slutstation #swedenstation

khuzdav

the-gnomish-bastard

It seems there are a lot of questions I need to answer regarding gnomes and magic.

Gnomes

The hat is not a condom. You fucking weirdo.
We do not crawl inside of an owlbear’s ass.
We eat meat. Rabbit is one of our favorites.
Though we are natural artificers, we will not imbue a wood carved penis with runes of movement or power. That’s disgusting.
Yes, each of us have a garden. The gardens act as our true domain. No harm can be done to us in our own gardens.
Shut the fuck up about Gnomeo.

Magic

You cannot cast a spell to make people TRULY fall in love with you. No such magic exists.
Do not stick a wand up someone’s nose and cast Water Jet. It’s not a pretty sight.
Yes, you can learn spells by studying ancient tomes. Yes, you can also learn by being an apprentice. And yes, winging it is also an option.
Do not use enchantment and charm spells to make people do anything sexual. That’s rape.
There is a difference between Black Magic and Dark Magic.
Yes, you need to replenish your mana. Most do it by resting. I stole the moon, so I have an infinite mana generator.
Teleportation circles exist for a reason. Use them.
If you make a deal with a more powerful being to gain magical power, you are a warlock.

the-gnomish-bastards-hat

One of those rules has some exceptions... ;D

the-gnomish-bastard

I did nothing of the sort…

khuzdav

You didn't.

the-gnomish-bastard

I didn’t. I promise.

khuzdav

That's what I'm saying, YOU didn't...

khuzdav

the-gnomish-bastard

It seems there are a lot of questions I need to answer regarding gnomes and magic.

Gnomes

The hat is not a condom. You fucking weirdo.
We do not crawl inside of an owlbear’s ass.
We eat meat. Rabbit is one of our favorites.
Though we are natural artificers, we will not imbue a wood carved penis with runes of movement or power. That’s disgusting.
Yes, each of us have a garden. The gardens act as our true domain. No harm can be done to us in our own gardens.
Shut the fuck up about Gnomeo.

Magic

You cannot cast a spell to make people TRULY fall in love with you. No such magic exists.
Do not stick a wand up someone’s nose and cast Water Jet. It’s not a pretty sight.
Yes, you can learn spells by studying ancient tomes. Yes, you can also learn by being an apprentice. And yes, winging it is also an option.
Do not use enchantment and charm spells to make people do anything sexual. That’s rape.
There is a difference between Black Magic and Dark Magic.
Yes, you need to replenish your mana. Most do it by resting. I stole the moon, so I have an infinite mana generator.
Teleportation circles exist for a reason. Use them.
If you make a deal with a more powerful being to gain magical power, you are a warlock.

the-gnomish-bastards-hat

One of those rules has some exceptions... ;D

the-gnomish-bastard

I did nothing of the sort…

You didn't.

Bull shit!

You do realise I've been taking in people who stepped in your traps and nursed them back to health, right? Did you just assume they were necromanced putta there?

the-gnomish-bastard

I just thought they were consumed by the worm.

khuzdav

What kind of Dune-grade worms do you have?!

the-gnomish-bastard

I don’t know what that is, but it’s 17 feet in diameter, and at least 200 feet long.

khuzdav

Oh, a False Lindworm! Did you name it?

Bull shit!

You do realise I've been taking in people who stepped in your traps and nursed them back to health, right? Did you just assume they were necromanced putta there?

the-gnomish-bastard

I just thought they were consumed by the worm.

khuzdav

What kind of Dune-grade worms do you have?!

khuzdav

the-gnomish-bastard

enlightenedshadowwizard

the-gnomish-bastard

No the fuck you don’t.

khuzdav

Not even us druids go that far, is this a cleric thing?

the-gnomish-bastard

Tempest clerics are weird.

khuzdav

I mean, Zeus, sure. But Thor? He's not into that shit, believe me, I asked.

Bull shit!

You do realise I've been taking in people who stepped in your traps and nursed them back to health, right? Did you just assume they were necromanced putta there?

khuzdav

the-gnomish-bastard

enlightenedshadowwizard

the-gnomish-bastard

No the fuck you don’t.

khuzdav

Not even us druids go that far, is this a cleric thing?

@the-gnomish-bastard did you do this

the-gnomish-bastard

No! I swear!

khuzdav

I can attestto this, the alibi is solid.

khuzdav

beanieb00bie

i-hate-chick-fil-a

wow

recklesslyinfatuated2

GIF by gifslauralikes

wickedwonderlandd

GIF by tequilatuesdays4all

khuzdav

creepymutelilbugger

horseimagebarn

horse standing on a little deck thing it seems to be enjoying the view though its emotions are unreadable

Juan

Guan

wizard-of-interesting-failure

Everyone has permission to be a wizard.

the-gnomish-bastard

Except the French.

khuzdav

They're all warlocks anyway. Revolutions? No no, they were all massive human sacrifices for their patrons.

the-gnomish-bastard

They weren’t warlocks. Warlocks are actually cool. They were fucking rangers.

khuzdav

Nope, only the British had rangers. Look up 95th rifles, they even wore green.

the-gnomish-bastard

Not what I fucking meant… the French were probably sunsoul monks.

khuzdav

Not sorcerer's then? Would explain why everyone hates them by default

khuzdav

the-gnomish-bastard

wizard-of-interesting-failure

Everyone has permission to be a wizard.

the-gnomish-bastard

Except the French.

khuzdav

They're all warlocks anyway. Revolutions? No no, they were all massive human sacrifices for their patrons.

the-gnomish-bastard

They weren’t warlocks. Warlocks are actually cool. They were fucking rangers.

khuzdav

Nope, only the British had rangers. Look up 95th rifles, they even wore green.

hmmm

wizard-of-interesting-failure

Everyone has permission to be a wizard.

the-gnomish-bastard

Except the French.

khuzdav

They're all warlocks anyway. Revolutions? No no, they were all massive human sacrifices for their patrons.

#eldritch blaguette

khuzdav

sunblocks

ever since i learned computerscience is called datafag in norweigen it lives rent free in my head. I'm imagining a cruel norweigen king who is having trouble with his laptop when he shouts "bjørn! fetch me the datafag"

khuzdav

My proud culture