May Your Road Lead You To Warm Sands

The other night husband and I were watching a documentary about the yeti where they were doing DNA analysis of samples of supposed yeti fur, and every one of them came back as bears.

Anyway, the next night we watched a thing about some pig man who is supposed to live in Vermont. People said it had claws and a pig nose but walked upright like a man. Now, I happen to know that sideshows used to shave bears and present them as pig men. So every piece of evidence they gave of this monster sounds to me like a bear with mange.

So now the running joke in our house is that everything is bears. Aliens? Bears. Loch Ness monster? Bear. Every cryptozoological mystery is just a very crafty bear.

Bears. They’re everywhere. Be wary. Anyone or anything could be a bear.

oh shit

*sidles up to you at the bar* would you like to hear my wise aphorism

only if it's actually wise. the last guy who asked me this had a pretty foolish aphorism tbh

oh… uhuh… *really should have prepared this ahead of time* never ignore… the melody of time… when your shoe’s untied?

*considers this aphorism sagely, sipping my horrible and bitter potion*

yes. there is wisdom in this. he whose shoes are untied must carefully mind the rhythm of his steps. bartender, another Wretched Potion, for my comrade here

*to self* holy shit… my aphorism… it’s wise!

I were inspired

warhammer 40k armor

Ha I wonder how many strokes the most complex Chinese character has like maybe eightee-

Has a Chinese son, names him bèng-dá, and he hates me

My beloved son 䨻龘 just trying to write his name in kindergarten

comic about going to target

me when my mutuals post hole

Nicolas Cage fanart by Yoji Shinkawa.

my brother accidentally referred to penn and teller as “the ogre and the shrew”

Talking to myself out loud like a point and click protagonist

Losing it over some of y'all's tags btw Here's my favorites

and lastly.

good night

Source

Source

This is not like a fully completed thought but yk

So I've done my first aid + CPR a few times. And every single time I try and bring up scenarios for fat folks

Specifically like 'what if someone is too large for me to wrap my arms around then to do the heimleich'

And its incredibly rare I get a decent answer.

How absolutely insane is it that me, as a fat person, is asking how to have MY life saved or to save ANOTHER life, is an impossible feat if someone is fat.

Most of the time they tell me to 'just try anyways uwu'

There has got to be a better option.

From a first aid and CPR trainer, who is also fat.

The heimleich is scientifically as effective as slapping someone VERY hard on the back. The only reason it's so well taught is the man that invented it did a lot of great PR for himself. It's also a bit easier for smaller framed people to get the necessary force in, because people are often extremely scared to hurt people, even in life threatening situations.

With larger bodied people, whether they be fat, tall, muscular, etc. If you cannot get your arms around them, literally just slap the shit out of their shoulders. You want hard, open palmed slaps right in the center of the shoulders or slightly below.

If they are too tall for you to reach that high, guide them to lean over the back of a chair, and then slap slap slap slap slap.

It's been proven to be just as effective through many studies. It just doesn't have a trademarked name and a dramatic effect in film.

If you have to do CPR on a larger bodied person, again, fat, body builder, tall and broad, whoever, the trick to finding where you want to put your hands if going to be to take your hand and shove it in their armpit. No seriously. Put your hand in their armpit, then drag it in a straight line towards yourself until you're in the center of the chest, then put your other hand beneath that one. This is where you push. Then you are going to move the arm closest to you out of the way so you can get closer to them, and get the leverage you need to press down for compressions. The more of your body weight that is over your hands, the better the compression will be. Act like you are trying desperately to pack the last of your clothes in a suitcase, and just slam down hard on their chest.

They will make *horrible* noises. You might even break ribs.

But a broken rib is better than being dead.

One day, perhaps, other CPR and First Aid instructors will actually know and teach this shit. But the medical field is filled with people who don't know, don't care, or just outright hate fat people. So while this information won't fix your complaint, I do hope it helps someone out there with saving their loved ones, should it ever be needed.

Does tumblr know that they're literally fucking making Bad Apple in r/place

For those who don’t know, r/place is where you can place one single pixel on a huge canvas--and are then locked out of placing another pixel for a long while. The amount of collaboration necessary to successfully do this is incredible.

yeah I've been getting really into metalworking these days

YOU CAN BE FAGGOTED MORE THAN ONCE???

IT'S AN EMBROIDERY STITCH AS WELL

it's fucking everywhere

Illustration for the series titled 'Book of Death' (Kay Nielsen, 1911)

death stranding