looking for fics about your favorite character on ao3 be like:

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what the actual fuck

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ooh that sounds- what the fuck

unfinished

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the best fic ive ever read in my life. this absolutely ruined me and ill never be the same ever again

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Reblogging for the absolute brutal accuracy of this comment

*cough gay cough*

*cue vine voice* Oh my god, they were roommates...

Cary grant and Randolph Scott lived together for 11 years in their mansion entitled the bachelor pad there are press pictures of the two of them living in a completely wonderfully domestic setting

When Cary grant has to marry as to stop the rumours of their gayness he became very depressed, him and his wife divorced 13 months later

Putting more pictures here because yes

Also they reason said wife divorced Cary is bc Randolph “refused to leave” their home and Cary wouldn’t kick him out.

I’d seen some of these pub stills before but not all of them, imagine middle America looking at this and thinking they were just bachelors sharing a house holy fuck

just gentlemen being friendtlemen

I love all the acting choices David and Micheal made for their characters but one I'm especially obsessed with (and frankly I don't see it being talked about enough) is the body language/posture.

David took one look at Crowley and decided this boy is Bouncy™. He has cooked spaghetti for bones. Ninety percent of his walking is done by his shoulders actually. He might be man-shaped but he's actually a liquid constantly changing form to fully fill the container (chair) he's in.

Meanwhile Michael went - We'll he's an angel, of course he's prim and proper and carefully put-together. He has the posture and grace of a classically trained dancer. There is also One Million Bees under his skin at any given moment.

And they were so right.

I love that Aziraphale perceives Crowley as much cooler than he actually is (because he's completely in love with him).

It's obvious from the body swap scene -which served him well because Crowley does play it cooler in Hell- but my personal favorite is this:

"Jane Austen - the brains behind the 1810 Clarkenwell diamond robbery."

Aziraphale was initially dumbfounded when Crowley knew Jane Austen from the robbery instead of the books she wrote, and he saw how confused Crowley was when he found out that she was an author.

So he thought, if Crowley doesn't know about the fact that she's an author and he knows about the robbery, then this must be the known thing about her that people will recognize her from. And when Nina and Maggie asked "Jane Austen?" he responded with Crowley's fact rather than his.

(It was also very autistic of him to try and copy his "cooler" husband's sayings so that people don't view him as weird)

Terry knew.

Plot armor but it’s Bruce Wayne’s wealth.

Bruce is one of the richest men in the world. Bruce does not want to be one of the richest men in world.

He starts by implementing high starting salaries and full health care coverages for all levels at Wayne Enterprises. This in vastly improves retention and worker productivity, and WE profits soar. He increases PTO, grants generous parental and family leave, funds diversity initiatives, boosts salaries again. WE is ranked “#1 worker-friendly corporation”, and productively and profits soar again.

Ok, so clearly investing his workers isn’t the profit-destroying doomed strategy his peers claim it is. Bruce is going to keep doing it obviously (his next initiative is to ensure all part-time and contractors get the same benefits and pay as full time employees), but he is going to have to find a different way to dump his money.

But you know what else is supposed to be prohibitively expensive? Green and ethical initiatives. Yes, Bruce can do that. He creates and fund a 10 year plan to covert all Wayne facilities to renewable energy. He overhauls all factories to employ the best environmentally friendly practices and technologies. He cuts contracts with all suppliers that engage in unethical employment practices and pays for other to upgrade their equipment and facilities to meet WE’s new environmental and safety requirements. He spares no expense.

Yeah, Wayne Enterprises is so successful that they spin off an entire new business arm focused on helping other companies convert to environmentally friendly and safe practices like they did in an efficient, cost effective, successful way.

Admittedly, investing in his own company was probably never going to be the best way to get rid of his wealth. He slashes his own salary to a pittance (god knows he has more money than he could possibly know what to do with already) and keeps investing the profits back into the workers, and WE keeps responding with nearly terrifying success.

So WE is a no-go, and Bruce now has numerous angry billionaires on his back because they’ve been claiming all these measures he’s implementing are too expensive to justify for decades and they’re finding it a little hard to keep the wool over everyone’s eyes when Idiot Softheart Bruice Wayne has money spilling out his ears. BUT Bruce can invest in Gotham. That’ll go well, right?

Gotham’s infrastructure is the OSHA anti-Christ and even what little is up to code is constantly getting destroyed by Rogue attacks. Surely THAT will be a money sink.

Except the only non-corrupt employer in Gotham city is….Wayne Enterprises. Or contractors or companies or businesses that somehow, in some way or other, feed back to WE. Paying wholesale for improvement to Gotham’s infrastructure somehow increases WE’s profits.

Bruce funds a full system overhaul of Gotham hospital (it’s not his fault the best administrative system software is WE—he looked), he sets up foundations and trusts for shelters, free clinics, schools, meal plans, day care, literally anything he can think of.

Gotham continues to be a shithole. Bruce Wayne continues to be richer than god against his Batman-ingrained will.

Oh, and Bruice Wayne is no longer viewed as solely a spoiled idiot nepo baby. The public responds by investing in WE and anything else he owns, and stop doing this, please.

Bruce sets up a foundation to pay the college tuition of every Gotham citizen who applies. It’s so successful that within 10 years, donations from previous recipients more than cover incoming need, and Bruce can’t even donate to his own charity.

But by this time, Bruce has children. If he can’t get rid of his wealth, he can at least distribute it, right?

Except Dick Grayson absolutely refuses to receive any of his money, won’t touch his trust fund, and in fact has never been so successful and creative with his hacking skills as he is in dumping the money BACK on Bruce. Jason died and won’t legally resurrect to take his trust fund. Tim has his own inherited wealth, refuses to inherit more, and in fact happily joins forces with Dick to hack accounts and return whatever money he tries to give them. Cass has no concept of monetary wealth and gives him panicked, overwhelmed eyes whenever he so much as implies offering more than $100 at once. Damian is showing worrying signs of following in his precious Richard’s footsteps, and Babs barely allows him to fund tech for the Clocktower. At least Steph lets him pay for her tuition and uses his credit card to buy unholy amounts of Batburger. But that is hardly a drop in the ocean of Bruce’s wealth. And she won’t even accept a trust fund of only one million.

Jason wins for best-worst child though because he currently runs a very lucrative crime empire. And although he pours the vast, vast majority of his profits back into Crime Alley, whenever he gets a little too rich for his tastes, he dumps the money on Bruce. At this point, Bruce almost wishes he was being used for money laundering because then he’s at least not have the money.

So children—generous, kindhearted, stubborn till the day they die the little shits, children—are also out.

Bruce was funding the Justice League. But then finances were leaked, and the public had an outcry over one man holding so much sway over the world’s superheroes (nevermind Bruce is one of those superheroes—but the public can’t know that). So Bruce had to do some fancy PR trickery, concede to a policy of not receiving a majority of funds from one individual, and significantly decrease his contributions because no one could match his donations.

At his wits end, Bruce hires a team of accounts to search through every crinkle and crevice of tax law to find what loopholes or shortcuts can be avoided in order to pay his damn taxes to the MAX.

The results are horrifying. According to the strictest definition of the law, the government owes him money.

Bruce burns the report, buries any evidence as deeply as he can, and organizes a foundation to lobby for FAR higher taxation of the upper class.

All this, and Wayne Enterprises is happily chugging along, churning profit, expanding into new markets, growing in the stock market, and trying to force the credit and proportionate compensation on their increasingly horrified CEO.

Bruce Wayne is one of the richest men in the world. Bruce Wayne will never not be one of the richest men in the world.

But by GOD is he trying.

Ok so we talk about the Bentley being at least semi-sentient and adoring Aziraphale and following him and playing him classical music etc... but what if we think about the bookshop in the same way? Instead of Aziraphale deciding to paint the walls (and columns, and whatever surface wasn't covered with books) Va Va Voom yellow, what if it just kind of... happened? The cozy sofa perfect for lounging? Just showed up one day. The bookshop ships it too :)

I love that Nina never even considered the idea that Crowley may have a wife or girlfriend.

In 2023 straight men generally don't style their hair, cut their nails, shape their eyebrows, wear waistcoats or tailored jackets unless required, wear women's trousers or jewellery under any circumstances whatsoever, or walk like they're trying to pass a DUI test in heels. Anglophones had to make up a whole new word, metrosexual, for straight men who bathe properly. Crowley presents as LOUDLY queer; whatever he's got at home, it's not a wife.

Mr Six Espressos in a Big Cup, wearing £400 sunglasses indoors and a £4k wristwatch, driving a rich asshole car (points for the vintage, but still), too cool to be a bookseller even at gunpoint, has been following Mr Fell (who reads as a gay man) around all afternoon, listening to him with focused attention and speaking to him with gentleness in his tone and body language. Regardless of sexual orientation, most men in Anglo-American culture won't do that for anyone of any gender unless they want to fuck them.

Bi erasure being what it is, the easiest conclusion in the context of contemporary British masculinity is that Crowley is a rich gay man who's either fucking Mr Fell or making a determined effort to do so.

So Bildad does this little gesture before the magic trick bringing Job's children back:

And guess where else we've seen it before:

I was rewatching Season 2 (as one does when one is a masochist) and finally noticed how very dismissive Crowley is about the 25 Lazarii miracle. In front of the administration of Heaven and some of the baddest bitches of Hell Crowley shrugged his shoulders and really said, "apparently, if we do a miracle together, it all works a bit too well." Sir. SIR!!! Come back here for a moment and answer for your soul mate based crimes!

Like, seriously, "Oh, my angelic husband and I are so ineffably enmeshed that when we do even the smallest thing together we tap into a bottomless font of energy that could rewrite the cosmos and challenge the powers of God herself. No biggie. What, like it's hard?"

No wonder the Metatron wanted them separated.

Yes!! But I wonder if he was being intentionally dismissive OR if it really just isn't that big of a deal to him.

First of, Aziraphale has to tell him that they (i.d. heaven) measure miracles in Lazarii, which means that they probably did not bother measuring them at all before the Fall/Great War, and that hell uses a different system if they use one at all.

Since heaven seems to be the only party with an alarm system about strong miracles in place (hell doesn't KNOW it happened until Michael tells them) I'd go with 'they don't have a system'.

So, Crowley knows bringing someone back from the dead aka one Lazarii is kinda a big deal, but it's the equivalent to telling me, a European, that your oven exploded because you broke the dial and accidentally set it to 700 Fahrenheit.

That sure sounds like a lot bro but uhhhh. Could you give me that in Kelvin or Celsius??

Take that and the implications throughout the show that Crowley was a pretty powerful and high-ranking angel, and is still one of the most powerful demons, and you end up with someone who does not understand the weight behind a 25 Lazarii miracle.

And to add another point to that: the miracle did not FEEL powerful to either of them.

"Did it work?" "I don't know."

They perform the miracle and don't even know if it worked. We know from season 1 that holding the Bentley together and making himself fire-proof required a lot of energy and concentration aka miracles drain their celestial energy and they feel it when they perform a big one.

But they did not feel anything. At all. Call it powerful and give them scale and whatnot, if you don't feel the effect of something it's hard to imagine its impact.

In conclusion:

(it's the "it's one banana, what could it cost? 10 dollars?" meme to those who don't know)

Absolutely stunning! @chalktwins

Credit: Chalk Twins on Xitter

At this point I think the Good Omens production team are just trying to show off/discorporate us.

And you just know there's more.

We don't talk enough about how Crowley starts s2 a bit lost, ungrounded - and how he ends s2 100% sure he is of what he wants.

He has no hobbies, no side quests, no adventures he's doing on his own. He's just sort of - hanging out until he can meet up with Aziraphale again. Which, of course, is lovely, but Crowley is missing his own self, somehow. By the end, though, he knows exactly what the point is.

Ever wonder, what's the point.

That's the walk of someone so very sure of what they think, what they feel, what they want.

I don’t think we talk enough about Crowley standing across the street and staring right at Aziraphale as he made the decision to go up to Heaven. It shows he walked out of the bookshop in resignation, not disgust or because he was running away. He stood next to the car and stared, wanting Aziraphale to see him as he made his decision.

Crowley really is the bravest bitch around. My man really stood there to be Witnessed after experiencing the nuclear humiliation of being rejected by the love of his life of 6,000 years saying, “I forgive you” after his first turbo virgin kiss ever. King

My favorite part about Crowley confronting Gabriel in season 2 is how legitimately scared Crowley is of him.

From the shocked scream and recoil away from him in episode 1, to how he would rather follow Aziraphale around SoHo in episode 5 than sit around and wait inside the bookshop, when the latter has always been his preference.

Crowley admits these fears to Aziraphale: "I kept thinking, what if he wakes up and remembers who he is? What if he's faking it?" And the whole time he's saying these things to Aziraphale he's thinking of his last interaction with Gabriel in Heaven, in Aziraphale's body.

Aziraphale tells Crowley he's being silly, but Aziraphale hasn't seen the depths of Gabriel's hatred like Crowley has, and Crowley fears for Aziraphale's safety more than anything.

So what does he do? He protects. He protects Aziraphale from the truth of what Gabriel is capable of. He keeps his silence and goes to confront the Archangel on Aziraphale's behalf. He drinks most of the bottle of wine in the time it takes him to cross the street to the bookshop and head up to Gabriel's room. And he shows Gabriel exactly what he thinks of his past behavior, his demonic serpent's gaze at its most menacing and hatred dripping from his lips with every word. He's dangerous, truly a viper coiled back to strike, and he wants Gabriel to know it. Even though Crowley's afraid of him, with good reason, and of being smited smote smitten by him.

Crowley's first instinct at the threat of danger is usually to try and run away. But he never manages it. He always comes back and faces it because when the chips are down he will put himself in harm's way for Aziraphale. Every time.

What if crowley replayed the kiss in his head so much that he started doubting his own version of it like maybe aziraphale didn’t start stroking his back didn’t start kissing back maybe he was trying to push him off like he replays it so much until there’s a tragic version of it in his head meanwhile aziraphale is like upping its ao3 rating in his kiss fantasies

Crowley actually says a barely-coded "I love you" to Aziraphale back in 2.03

In his proposal in the S2 finale, Crowley told us that he and Aziraphale know they're in love and have known it for damn ever but they pretend they're not a couple. This, by default, means that they've not specifically said the words "I love you" before, by Crowley's own admission. They've said I love you in their own little language and we've watched it before. It's little demonic miracle of my own. It's don't go unscrewing the cap. It's just a little bit of a good person and just enough of a bastard to be worth knowing... But what Crowley says in the S2 finale is that they've never-- ever-- said in 6,000 years is just I love you in those normal people, human words. It has always been too dangerous for too many reasons to count so they have euphemisms for it and whole conversations around it and have made that be enough. Why do I bring this up? Because Crowley found a middle ground between the words and their coded language with one another in S2 and it's flying under the radar.

So you know that scene when Muriel has shown up and interrupts Crowley and Aziraphale talking in the back room? The one where while Crowley is speaking, Aziraphale suddenly looks like he's about to pass out with sheer want? Yes, our angel always looks at Crowley like he hung the damn moon (which he did but lol...) but this scene is different. This scene is like... someone get Aziraphale a chair and a glass a water because he is pupils-dilated, audibly breathing, and eyeing up Crowley with naked want. More than the lust? He looks happy. He looks delighted. You can basically hear his heart race from that look on his face. Why here? Yes, Crowley looks hot. Yes, he's in profile in a way that is a visual parallel to Before the Beginning (which was an inspired choice for this scene.) Yes, he's here with a Plan and taking charge of the Muriel situation and swaying his hips a bit while he speaks. It's not any of that. Those are nice bonuses. Aziraphale likes them. He gets them all the time. It's what Crowley said in this moment. To Aziraphale. Through what he said to Muriel.

Crowley cracks a dry, kinda dark joke that is meant for an audience of one: just Aziraphale. He knows Muriel won't get it. Since Muriel is cosplaying as what they think is a human Inspector Constable and they are here to verify the miracle Aziraphale has told Heaven and so are monitoring them, Crowley quips that Muriel is here to spy on them (since they, well, are, actually) and that he knows that many human police officers like to make a bit of a hobby out of spying on "people in love."

People. In. Love.

In a one-two punch in the same sentence, Crowley called him and Aziraphale queer humans and he called what they have love, using the actual word *aloud* for the first time in 6,000 years. He said he loved Aziraphale in front of an angel of Heaven in a little coded joke but this time, using the coded bit to say the real thing for the first time.

Then, just to hammer it all home and make sure that Aziraphale really knows it was very much intentional, Crowley says 'love' again in the next sentence. He starts going on about how Muriel can come to him anytime with any questions about love and he's happy to assist with their understanding of human love with all of his implied vast, vast years of experience with the subject and how he'll be here to answer their questions, in the bookshop, while Aziraphale drives his car to Edinburgh.

Go back and tell Heaven I'm here, Inspector Constable, I don't give a fuck anymore. *We* don't give a fuck anymore. You go tell The Archangel Michael that I'm who they're going to get managing Angelic Embassy X aka The Bookshop until Aziraphale gets back-- yep, me, former Demon of Hell. The Boyfriend in the Dark Sunglasses. He's asked me to, which is his way of saying he wants to stop hiding and asking me not to sneak out to my car in the middle of the night which hallefuckinglujah, Inspector Constable... Go tell Their Beatitudes that we ravish each other all over the bookshop. You won't even be lying. As Maggie'll put it later in the season: I'm done being afraid all the time. I love him. We're in love. There's your hot intel.

Aziraphale:

Aziraphale: Inspector Constable, be a dear and spray me down with all 700 of our fire extinguishers, will you?

something something about how they created a silly little dance - which angels are not meant to do

because Aziraphale doesn’t know how to ask for forgiveness - angels are meant to give out forgiveness not receive it

it's the fact that crowley became more protective of aziraphale after he thought he lost him in the fire.

he experienced what it would feel like to lose him and he knew he never wanted to go through that again, so in season two he does everything he can to keep him from harm.

he threatens and he fights and he leaves only to return just as quickly, and he makes the promise "i won't leave you on your own" because the last time he left in anger he came back to find that aziraphale was gone.

and if he has to experience that heartwrenching grief that had him sobbing on the floor of a flaming bookshop ever again then what would be the point of it all?