i don't even know how archetypes work like. i'd be able to tell you that certain groups of furries for example often have like a cohesion to their behavior interests and mannerisms. obviously. which isn't that scary to think about since there's essentially a shared interest that brings these people together and when communities form you'd think these things would converge around some point because of this or that factor. but what about like. gay bears who outside of their literal appearance are literally just random people but also have basically a stereotype around them which i've also observed both online and irl. okay i'd get it just being a western thing mkultraing people in a similar way and that gay bears are just my point of interest so i'd falsely attribute these things to them when in fact they're representative of the wider population you know. but then again i've seen with my own eyes gay bears in real life where i have less control to be selective act like. well you know being into pokemon a bit too much. and basically nobody else. i think i'm just hallucinating though and making up categories just to feel something & this isn't about gay people i mean just in general... like the latter example is crazy to me you might as well could tell me like yeah brunettes don't wear jeans like it's the same level of specificity on a group of like random people not connected by anything. which is why i think i'm hallucinating and calling that monkey hairless. not even that into sociology btw or anything i'm just trying to blog to fall asleep a little later since it's my birthday and i want to wake up late so i can be less sleepy later when we celebrate. but i think this psychotic impulse to categorize everyone into these archetypes is like demonic + like a reflexive defense mechanism to not being able to cope with being alive so. i mean alive in the way bloggers use the word

like having a boyfriend who isn't a furry is actually sort of inconceivable to me. i literally can't list a single reason why other than well it'd be kinda weird so. oil and water. well not that either actually. literally idk wish i could make something up now for notes. government

wrt being a furry. wish i could explain how big of a cornerstone to/of (idk) my identity it actually is without sounding like a clinically insane person right off the bat. & the only times i had space to express and process this with another person (that imp post about geminis using people as a second brain) was like @ a park bench drunk at 3 am mainly. and it was the same person twice and both times it related to gender when my basic takeaway was well if i wasn't a furry idk how i'd parse whatever i am. but under the cold grip of sobriety i'd say that makes sense under the premise that being a furry informs my identity in the same way that not being a furry does or maybe would. or rather i don't know anything different so. but it goes further than that idk it's kind of all encompassing and i'd find it psychotic to spend time with someone close without them knowing this basic fact about me. almost like a second coming out but darker. which is hilarious because i'm barely apprehensive about my gayness but the furry thing is like its own closet in a way. and yet i wouldn't be able to even describe name or even vaguely list one aspect of being a furry that's embodied in my life whatsoever it's just a vibe thing almost. sure i play the dating simulators but that's parody. i don't even interact with anyone from the "community" anymore because i have a life outside the computer now. actually i think if i kept writing this and thinking about i'd reach a conclusion but i'm getting over it now so idk.

ok you know that moment when a deep malignancy within you ends up getting exposed to yourself and you have to like sit down for a second and be like. okay well because of the tools i used to construct this narrative it ended up the way it is. which means to reconstruct it i need to make a new set of tools and start building from scratch. fuuuckkkk -_- ok that's so annoying . and then you sit at the crossroads finally realizing how easy the easy path really is. just had the worst chicken nuggets of my life btw wish you cared.

hate the hunter love the prey. the way it's been so psychotic after deciding i'll redacted my redacted (abandon my family) + got a job & basically had my entire life uprooted since the start of this year in several ways i cannot recall at the moment. but mostly redacted. too crazy to blog basically. but i miss us

i don't believe in the chasm BTW but i'd forgive you for perceiving it as such.

<3

umm. well if i had to make a comment about password (gay furry visual novel) now that i'm re-reading it. i'm only about halfway through i love the ideas and concepts and ambition it's trying to be so much it keeps stumbling on itself. more by way of width and not depth. i actually don't know what i meant by that but if you know you know. i don't think it's meant to be deep even though there's moments where i'd read it as a little pretentious but that's okay. unfortunately the dialogue is garbage. maybe that's just dean's route and other routes are better. but i don't see the appeal of dean or the romance this route the dialogue is often dry but also super corny and it takes all my enjoyment out of the picture. but so far i think the writing was strongest when dave was having that crazy downward spiral and everyone was noticing. kinda cool + it plays to the innate gay furry strength of hurt/comfort delusion manifestation (or vice versa) ... so i'd love to finish it but i can't handle this dialogue. kinda funny that grizz would shamelessly be publicly very critical of howly's writing but then write maybe the least entertaining gay furry traumadump romance i've seen. just thought it was interesting . the camp elements are really good though like an assassin butler is crazily entertaining there's just the right amount of trash being dosed to you to want to keep reading. so yeah idk it's fine but it's too long for no reason the pacing feels insane. i'm playing it on my phone @ work or elsewhere so it's nice having it be so portable & makes it less of a slog to get through when grizz is trying to write a healthy relationship. yes i said at work

it's fine because it doesn't hurt. but if it did hurt it would also be fine so idk

listening to strange music at work ✅