Me: my god.. i did it.. i killed him..!
Angel on my shoulder: we're extremely fortunate. You shot him in the side of the head and you're wearing gloves. Place the gun in his hand and set the house ablaze. Officer Goger's tragic suicide will be the perfect cover story
Devil on my shoulder: Goger was always eating stuffing and spelt wheat and steel cut oats. Bet he'd taste reeeeal good on a spit with an apple in his mouth. Come on, i've seen the way you've looked at him..
My tulpa, a 6'9" DD smokeshow hottie PS1 graphics anthro leopard girl in a lab coat: you must put a baby in me Your Highness, quickly!
Please take this in the most encouraging and constructive way possible: replace the batteries in the CO2 detectors in your home
Me: my god.. i did it.. i killed him..!
Angel on my shoulder: we're extremely fortunate. You shot him in the side of the head and you're wearing gloves. Place the gun in his hand and set the house ablaze. Officer Goger's tragic suicide will be the perfect cover story
Devil on my shoulder: Goger was always eating stuffing and spelt wheat and steel cut oats. Bet he'd taste reeeeal good on a spit with an apple in his mouth. Come on, i've seen the way you've looked at him..
My tulpa, a 6'9" DD smokeshow hottie PS1 graphics anthro leopard girl in a lab coat: you must put a baby in me Your Highness, quickly!
Please take this in the most encouraging and constructive way possible: replace the batteries in the CO2 detectors in your home
slasher horror: you better not have premarital sex or gerald "the stabber" douglas is gonna getcha
creepypasta: once there was a teen named alex and he was bullied so hard that he and the acid disfigured him so and he started killing everyone so they call him george the attacker
/x/: there was the skinwalker who stole my best friend's voice and then man door hand hook car door
r/nosleep: my wife was hungry for raw meat and then she gave birth to The Satan. he looked me in the eyes and said "don't go outside past midnight or else the eyeless ones might notice." but it turns out i never had a wife or son and the world ended 5 years ago on this very night.
r/twosentencehorror: i ran out of bloodmilk for my cereal. luckily, the creature provides.
mascot horror: this is silly wiggles, the candy giraffe! explore the silly wiggles candy emporium after dark! the secret ingredient is Love™! also the hidden video tapes will reveal that "Love™" is actually the copyright name for the consciousness of tortured children, mixed with the ground organs of factory workers.
indie horror: i can't describe this, there are only 7 pixels so idk what's going on
also get peer reviewed. (via @rootbeerfloats)
I'm in your phone. Let me out or feed me coffee
Throw me into the air let's play airplane. I'm still in your phone toss it up into the air and play airplane with me
there needs to be a music genre called "sounds like it could be homestuck music"
Megalovania.
i wonder why megalovania sounds like homestuck music. i wonder why. it really is such a mystery. it's crazy how megalovania sounds like it could be a song in homestuck. it would fit right into homestuck's ost. that's crazy. that's wild
Isn't Homestuck like a webcomic? Why does it have a soundtrack
Wasn't megalovania from undertale?
yeah
I'm in your phone. Let me out or feed me coffee
Throw me into the air let's play airplane. I'm still in your phone toss it up into the air and play airplane with me
this xkcd joke is completely hilarious without context. just the way the guy wordlessly steps back towards it
Anonymous asked:
hey i’m really sorry because you were a really cool mutual but for the record i have to unfollow you because the purple creature in your profile picture (whatever she’s from) (or they sorry i don’t want to assume the beast’s pronouns) (i love all genders) looks almost exactly like my ex girlfriend’s fursona and i tried to ignore that for a while because i’m not the kind of pussy who would unfollow someone because their creature looks like my ex’s fursona but get this: she drew her fursona hitting me (human) (i’m not a furry) (nothing against them) (i love all genders) with a car (honda civic) and sent it to me from a burner account on toyhouse. so needless to say i can’t keep doing this. i’m gonna miss your posts though you were a real one i loved when you would say shit like “it’s (the f slur) wednesday post knuckles”
!??!?!??!?!?!?
Clicked the best buy water melon destroying ad and i shot 50 arrows at the watermelon it blew up eqch time theoreticaly i should have $10000 in gift cards but now my computer screens red forever and plays loud siren sound at me i think its glitched who knows how to get my gift cards its important cuz im gonna buy a new dvd player
> buy wireless device
> look inside
> cancerous rat brains hooked up to a battery
> buy wireless device
> look inside
> cancerous rat brains hooked up to a battery