gets an adrenaline rush from contributing to class discussion

way to go paul

Did I ever tell you guys that I’m personally barred from entering an entire region in Scotland

And it’s not just a small town. 

I’m forever banned from stepping foot on what is virtually 1/5th of Scotland’s landmass. 

For those of you wondering, it involved my disgruntled ancestor, the modern day equivalent of a 5 dollar refund, angry townspeople, and a ban on my entire bloodline until the end of time.

I really want to hear this story

If this gets to a hundred notes, I’ll give you more details. 

Alright, gather around. So way way back in the 1700′s, my respectable relative decided that they wanted to go traveling. Their crops had come in on time, they weren’t dying of tuberculosis, and, for once, the English weren’t trying to kill them. So, naturally, they ventured South to a small village in the Hebrides for a nice ‘tropical’ vacation. Upon reaching said village, they came across an inn. 

Now, the Scottish, being the wild party animals that they are, were having a dance that night. This dance must have looked like a lot of fun, because my relative in question decided to pay a modest fee of what would be 5 dollars in today’s world to get in. Everything was going great, until 10 minutes later, the inn decided to close for the night. My dude was NOT having it. They demanded a refund, but the innkeeper said no. 

Shenanigans promptly ensued. They wanted their 5 dollars, and by God, THEY WOULD GET IT. Unfortunately, there was a no refund policy. I don’t know what was worse, the fact that they were robbed of 5 bucks, or that they were thrown so violently off their groove. I will never know what really happened next that night that was so bad, so awful, so absolutely mortifying that it warranted exile, but one can’t help but imagine. Was it murder? Heresy? A combination of both?

In the end, the townspeople chased them off, banished them, and cursed their very name. If they, or any of their children, or their children’s children’s children decided to step foot back on that island, there would be goddamn hell to pay. 

If I could choose to travel back in time to any one place, it would be this very same event. I mean, I have questions. Did my ancestor kick ass and take names, or did they get their ass kicked? What else would they do for 5 dollars? Was wreaking havoc on a small town and forever shaming the family name worth it? Was it honestly worth the 5 fricking dollars?

And this, kids, is why genealogy isn’t boring and you should totally go ask your Gramma for family stories right now.

This game isn’t fun anymore…

Drag queen Phi Phi O’Hara recreates 90s cartoons

Drag queen, artist and chameleon extraordinaire Phi Phi O'Hara is chronicling her #365DaysOfDrag project on Instagram. As part of the year-long project, O'Hara limited her subject matter for a time to iconic cartoon characters of the ‘90s — and they are amazing.

More like this on @this-is-life-actually

JUDY

i live

Ok but this post left out the two best ones.

YOU BETTER FUCK. IT. UP.

CHARACTER MAKEUP. I CANT YES.

Such talent

Me

i always thought the whole “broke college student” thing was an exaggeration but now that im actually in college im literally just

oh my god

me

Loving the puddles!!!!

toddler mutant ninja turtles

Today at therapy was really hard. I was sitting here crying, and generally being miserable, when I felt a nudge at my knee. I looked down to see that Zeus, my service dog, was doing his job… and brought me a potato. it is very hard to cry with a gift of potato.

Remember this? I’m having a rough time right now. Zeus has a solution.

That would be an empty pill bottle, the *correct* pill bottle, a bottle of embossing powder, and two, TWO potatoes.

You’re worth at least 2 potato to him and that’s pretty special imo.

I would just like to remind you all that *I don’t own any potatoes* and I have no clue where he’s getting them from.

Fun facts about your sign here

a baby can be born right now at 12:00, on a wednesday, august 24 in new jersey while another baby is also born in the exact same moment but they are born 9:00, on a tuesday, august 23 in california, these babies that are born at the same moment are technically because of time zones, a concept that we created ourselves, born “hours” apart even though really they are born at the same moment just not the same “time”, one will be considered older even though in actuality they are the same

Wtf